Kristinmarta

Members
  • Content Count

    24
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Kristinmarta

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Los Angeles
  1. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Thanks for the input everyone. I read the Whole 30 Gone Bad article and while I didn't have the same type of disordered thought, I recognized it was getting bad. As the program continued, I was having more and more conflict around eating. I just didn't want to do it. Compliant food, no matter what shape or form, new or old stand-by, was not appealing. I was eating less and less because I didn't like eating. Things didn't taste palatable. Around 3 days ago, I also began to be paralyzed as meal time approached because I hated the idea of eating- on program or off. I would put off eating as long as possible (often hours) until I was giving myself headaches and my stomach was growling uncomfortably. All food seemed like bad food. I debated ending the Whole 30 a lot and thought a lot about my experience with the program. So today, at lunch, I decided that I came as far as I was meant to go with this program, at this time. It wasn't exciting (I ate a sandwich) and I am paranoid about adverse reactions. But I feel like a weight as been lifted. The Whole 30 was a useful exercise for a time and I hope to incorporate certain aspects into my life moving forward. But then it started going off the rails. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 hours this morning because I didn't want to have to face the day/eat anything. Even before I got lunch today, I sat in my parked car for 45 minutes trying to decide what to do. I didn't want to stop prematurely but things had taken a turn. And it was time for me to end. Good luck to the rest of you. Thanks for the support.
  2. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I am so over this. I know I felt so desperate that I was willing to try this. But now I feel discouraged and like I have more disordered thought around food. I don't feel better. I feel like I am wasting time and being masochistic on this program. I just want to quit.
  3. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Those are good suggestions, ladyshanny. I might go to the Help forum to see if a moderator has any input. I am not expecting a complete shift but I still feel exhausted. I don't feel rested when I wake up. Most things seem very effortful, things that shouldn't- like taking shower or washing dishes. Things that didn't used to seem so effortful. I went to the doctor yesterday (I had an appointment earlier this month but flaked because going seemed too hard) to do a whole litany of tests, just to screen for everything. I know my baseline and things have have felt worse than that even though my habits have remained about the same. So we will see. In a way, it would be comforting to know there is an "easier" physiological explanation for my lethargy/depression like anemia or under active thyroid. Something just feels off. And really I don't feel that different on the Whole30 yet. Maybe I need more time, maybe there is more going on. I just don't know. I am impressed with us all that's we've stuck with this for almost 3 weeks. Reading this forum has helped me get this far.
  4. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    My cravings are out of control. I have held strong but I am so eager for non-compliant food. Pretty much everything I see, I want. I am tired of compliant food. I feel like I am counting down the days for a big glass of wine and some movie theater popcorn. It's frustrating because I still don't feel that different physically or emotionally. I just keep hoping that things will fall in place and I will get to the tiger blood phase. I am started to get worried that I won't feel it and it will be suggested that I keep going until I feel it. It's maybe not the best logic, but it will be really hard for me to maintain habits close to the Whole30 or paleo if I am not feeling a difference. Sigh. It feels really hard to be patient right now.
  5. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Thanks everyone. I appreciate the kind words. I see a therapist regularly. I am familiar with my symptoms and when things are bad, I tend to mostly sleep a lot. That's what happened today. I was on the couch, asleep on an off until 3. Then I took a shower. Then I got into bed. I slept for another 45 minutes. And then went grocery shopping. I am counting it a big success that I left the house. At least I have food for this week. I am just sick of this being a thing.
  6. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I thought I was turning a corner. But now I seem to be back in a funk again. I feel sad and hopeless and useless. I didn't run yesterday- I slept until 11. I can't bring myself to run today. Even though I have another half marathon at the end of October and another one mid November. Two more races I won't be prepared for. I don't want to do anything. I can tell it will be a challenge to do anything today. I don't like feeling like this but it's very familiar. Earlier in the W30 I felt meaner, angrier. Now I feel deflated. It crept in yesterday afternoon and now it's fully lodged in my brain. I am so sick of this and was hoping the W30 would help with this. Sigh.
  7. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Ventre123 & laxmom63- I am going to try both the coffee and the chai. Yum. I feel like I have turned a corner. Feeling a little more positive generally. Things haven't evened out entirely but I don't hate everything all the time anymore, haha. Also, here's to small victories. I tried on a dress that last time I wore it, I felt like a little sausage. Today is felt much better. Onward Day 12!
  8. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    One third done, everyone! It still feels like a struggle to cook so much & do so many dishes. It's also hard for me to plan meals and prepare in advance. I try prepping/cooking on the weekend but having every meal figured out also feels stifling. I am sick of tuna salad and egg salad for lunch. Does anyone have any go-to packable lunch ideas that don't take too much prep? Or any other quick and easy go-tos? The quicker and easier the better. I made the coconut almond green beans from The Clothes Make the Girl http://theclothesmakethegirl.com/2012/03/14/coconut-almond-green-beans/ Sooo good! I added pre-cooked ground beef and topped with a fried egg. Not feeling that different physically or emotionally. I still feel pretty tired and I am having headaches nearly every day. Maybe it's the heat, too? On to Day 11.
  9. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    There is a major heat wave in Los Angeles right now. Over 100 for the past couple of days and probably wont let up until Wednesday. My little apartment does not have A/C - only a window unit and a fan- so it gets very very hot. Last night the power went out. It was out all night and still out this morning. I could barely sleep and I was so hot and sweaty- despite taking 2 cold showers. This makes me very grumpy. I forced myself to eat compliant for breakfast but I reached a point that I thought I would vomit if I had one more bite of my scramble. I still feel hungry (or maybe it's just a craving?- I can't even tell right now.) My willpower is weak right now. I keep thinking that this is only Day 9. So many more days to go. And I am so tired of everything already. Right now just feels like the perfect storm for disaster because the heat/no power. I didn't pack a lunch- only an apple, a banana and cashews. I don't want to go to Chipotle because that made me feel crappy last time. I just want everything to be over. I can see why they say this is the hardest part. I don't want to throw in the towel but I am so over this.
  10. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I can relate, jordanbrook. Generally, I have felt worse this first week than I had before I started. My moods have been all over the place (mostly much worse) and I have gotten bad headaches 3/7 days. And especially with my mood being so low, I have considered throwing in the towel. It has helped me to look at my goals again. And the timeline. I went in thinking that things would be mostly challenging until Day 16 based on the timeline, hahah. And for all the doubt I have there is still a part of me that is hopeful. I promised myself 30 days. So I might as well do the whole 30 days. And maybe the adverse effects right now are telling me how much my body really needed this change. Try to be patient. I am right there with you.
  11. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I forced myself to go for a run this morning. I couldn't get up with my alarm at 6 so I didn't get out there until closer to 8. I reminded myself to eat some protein beforehand. The first 2.5 miles felt really strong and then I quickly lost all my fuel. I tanked by mile 3. But I made the mistake of running out on a straight course, so I basically had to walk 3 miles back to my car. I am exhausted. I was almost too tired to grocery shop. Major crash coming on. What have been your experiences with exercising?
  12. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Good point, ladyshanny. Maybe my body is not a big fan of sunflower oil. Today was fine. I feel like I am already slipping into lazy habits round the whole30. I have certain go-to meals/snacks and I am recycling those a lot. Even in the past few days. I am going shopping tomorrow. I need to mix it up a little. My mood is still really low. No motivation to do anything. All I was supposed to do today was pick up my shoes from the repair shop and buy more cat food. I did neither. Instead I took naps on and off all day. Which kinda lines up to the timeline but I still felt pretty useless. During one nap I dreamt that I was eating a sandwich on a little crusty baguette. And then I realized it wasn't allowed on the whole 30 and I had a meltdown. Going out to dinner (sashimi) and a play with a friend. Onward to Day 7. Good job, everyone!
  13. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I checked the ingredient statement page. It all seems to be ok. I think I just got paranoid because I felt bad so immediately went to this message board, hah. They use sunflower oil to cook the carnitas. That is a limited oil/butter/seed but still allowed on the whole30. Everything else is fine. I guess I am safe. But interesting to know. It took me out for a good 3 hours after I got home from work. I had to take a nap. And I still have a faint headache. Probably won't be going back. I going to try to eat out tomorrow too. I am planning on just straight sashimi. Obviously no rice, no miso soup, no soy sauce etc. Even though I live in LA, I think it's hard to find safe restaurants that don't cook in vegetable oil/soybean oil. Or that really just steam their veggies. It is going to be one of the biggest adjustments during my whole30 not to be eating out as much. My work has a big eating out culture and I do it a lot socially. It will be a hard habit to break during this period and beyond. But probably better for my health and wallet in the long run (at least with work lunches). My emotions are still all over the place. I cancelled plans that I had in the books for months now. I just don't want to see most people. I know I am isolating myself. Everything seems really bleak. I am crossing my fingers that things even out a little. And soon!
  14. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    I read on different thread on the forum that Chipotle is compliant if you stick with just lettuce, canitas (everything else is cooked in soybean oil), guac and pico de gallo. So I had that for lunch since going out to lunch is normally a big part f my work culture. I do not feel so hot. Headache and sore throat are back. And now I am worrying that I strayed off program. Do you think I need to start over and back to Day1?
  15. Kristinmarta

    September 8th, anyone?

    Thanks for the kind words everyone. I stayed on plan. But I am having a really hard time with my depression. I went to therapy and a meditation group tonight but still not feeling any relief. Going to bed. On to Day 5.