PerfectUsername Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I don't want to sound like a complainer. But in the interest of full self-disclosure, I can guarantee you that I'm going to. (That, and a complete nutcase with a perfectionism complex - which is at least half-true. I'll let you decide which half.) I've attempted a Whole30-slash-Whole9-life countless times. C-o-u-n-t-l-e-s-s. But I always let it fail. That's right. I let it fail. I let it fail because "today wasn't perfect". Today, I ate too much in general, didn't sleep long enough, watched too much hate-to-love-it reality TV, too much fruit, too many nuts, not enough fish, need more greens, didn't walk the dog, didn't socialise, didn't relax, stretch, play, meditate or read, worried too much, showed too little gratitude, and stressed more than should be humanly possible. And yes, I am quite aware that the "should's" and the expectations and the striving for the illusive perfection (which doesn't exist, because what is perfect, bla bla bla) is the very source of my worrying, and failure, and self-inflicted pressure to get things exactly "right". And I'm aware of the things that I "should" be telling myself instead and how to build new habits and break old ones and stop obsessing and, again I say, bla bla bla. (The most embarrassing part is that I'm a Psych major and work in behavioural analysis, so managing this sort of psychological and behavioural stuff is, literally, my gluten-free-wheat-free-coconut-flour bread and clarified butter.) But it doesn't change the fact that I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this pursuit of perfection. It's. Just. So. Darn. Frustrating! And I love everything the Whole30 and Whole9 stand for. Truly. It's natural, it's honest, it's real. Still, I hate that I've let food, and health, and general well-being - things that used to be quite intuitive for me - I hate that I've let them become work. I hate that I've put all these rules around them - what you should and shouldn't do to be the best that you should be, and if you choose to do what you shouldn't, you'll spend your life wishing that you'd done what you should. (Say what?) All the research, all the knowledge, all the data and the studies on the best and the healthiest and the most optimal way to eat, train, sleep, and work. And yet here I am, paralysed, trying to get it "right". Putting all these insane parameters in place, cursing myself when things don't do according to plan. Constant mental torture. And I know that an all or nothing approach is unhealthy. I know that something is better than nothing even if it's not everything. But (insert profanity), I can't seem to get that logic past the gatekeepers to my obsessive thoughts. So, here I go again. I'm going into another Whole30 - June 1st. And I'm going to try and use my obsession with rules to help me. I'm going to try and create more flexible if-then's for myself. (For example, "If you don't feel like training as much today as you did yesterday, then for goodness sake take it easy - and whatever you do, DON'T feel like that's not good enough, so you may as well write off the whole day, start again tomorrow, screw all your past efforts, and get all puffed up on some gluten and crash with some sugar!) So, that's that. Rant over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitershade Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I totally understand how you feel right now. I always feel the same when I start something, I am always overwhelmed by my sick perfectionism. And this week I feel so bad and depressed just because I think I am eating too much fruit and nuts...Keep going, don't give up and be proud of yourself. You are still here trying, so you are definitely a fighter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnfive Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I have attempted Whole 30 so many times since February that I can't even remember how many attempts there have been. I completely agree with everything you have posted: Whole 30 is really one of the best ways to be healthy and yet.......I find myself OBSESSING about my food choices ALL THE TIME. The focus on "perfection" and having to start over when 1 single "bad" choice is made can be frustrating. June 1st for me too! Let's do this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerfectUsername Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 Good to know it's not just me! Thanks for the encouragement, whitershade! Definitely keen to do this together, amnfive. Always good to have some support. I'm in Australia, so I'll be slightly ahead of you. Officially June 1st here in 1.5 hours... We WILL do this and we WILL be okay with "good enough". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbuzbee Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 And I know that an all or nothing approach is unhealthy. I know that something is better than nothing even if it's not everything. But (insert profanity), I can't seem to get that logic past the gatekeepers to my obsessive thoughts. The thing is, it isn't just you. They TELL you to do that in ISWF. Start now. Don't cheat. Etc It's why I'm not starting this right now. They said you have to be 100% Even one bite of pizza and you are starting over. I want to start, but I'm not ready for that. Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerfectUsername Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 True, Ken. But I think that when it comes to your health and your life, you have license to do things in a way that works for you. Rather do the Whole30 90% of the way, and have that bite of pizza every now and again, then put it off altogether. That said, for me it's not the bite of pizza that's the issue. It's hyperfocusing on Whole30 minutia. Splitting hairs over how much you "should" have of this and "shouldn't" have of that. Which leads to the frustration, and the being overwhelmed, and then the whole pizza pie quickly follows. I can't keep waiting until things are just "right". I need to learn to be okay with less than perfect. Because at the end of the day, whole food and the occasional "cheat" is better than 100% SAD food. I need to remember that the Whole30 is not gospel - it's a brilliant guideline, a template, a model. And it's okay to tweak that to suit yourself. Like Melissa and Dallas always say, there are not going to be any Whole30 police knocking on your door to ensure that your salad dressing is sugar-free, you're not overdoing yourself on the dried fruit, and your omega 3 to 6 ratios are all in check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbuzbee Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 That's a good point but they really make it sound like if you aren't doing EVERYTHING, you aren't doing ANYTHING. I don't necessarily subscribe to that, but it does sound that way... Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmunchie Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I'm glad there are other "repeat offenders"' out there. What I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't 100% for the rest of my life. It's just a month or so. Yes, it's restrictive. Yes, I'm sure I make dozens of not-optimal choices. But when I see it as all-or-nothing rather than doing my best and enjoying the learning experience, I stress myself out and quit. The purpose isn't necessarily to be "perfect". The purpose is to own everything you choose and learn about yourself, your habits. Everyone messes up, whether it's snarfing a bag of dried apricots (or a birthday cake), accidentally using coconut milk with guar gum, or even skipping too many meals. It's a journey to self-discovery, not a quick-fix. Listen to me, sounding like I know what I'm talkin' about. If only I could put my words into action, and we'd be set! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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