whole30 no. 3: summer deluxe edition

[cactusflower]

Hi there!  This is my first post and when i read that you suffer from depression & anxiety but they virtually disappear when doing Whole30, I had to post.  I have been taking antiudepressants since 2002/2003.  I am on my THIRD antidrepessant (the other two "stopped working").  Not only am I on a new one I am also taking another one to "boost" the new one.

Apart from the depression issues, I started looking through Whole9 because at 40 my body feels like a 90 yr old.  The aches and pains are cuh-razy!  I hope you have amazing success the third time around! 

[robotarmy]

Hey cactusflower! Yeah, eating super clean REALLY helps. I've never felt as good as I do when I'm doing a whole30. I coming off a really rough patch, so I've had to restart this particular whole30 because I needed to deal with some non food related stuff for a few days and not worry about being so strict. But yeah. This way of eating is no joke.

If you take the plunge and want to try the whole30, I hope you feel great! Stop by anytime and let me know how you're doing

[robotarmy]

Rookie food/workout mistakes today. Not enough calories, not enough carbs. Totally hit the wall at the gym today, and nearly vommed. For the conditioning part of the workout, we alternated 400m or rowing or running with 21 push-ups. We could choose to row or run, we didn't have to do both. I started off rowing, but that was awful. So then I ran the next 400...outside in full sun and 110 degrees. That's where the vomming almost happened. Stayed in to row the last 2 rounds, but it was too late, I was DONE. I had the slowest time overall at the gym today. I mean, I pushed myself and hit my limit. I just wasn't properly fueled. And that was stupid.

Post workout: leftover steak and a bunch of dates. I was crashing badly and that sugar was a godsend.

Now I'm drinking a green kombucha and finishing up Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Already feel more relaxed.

[robotarmy]

Long day. Long, long day. Tomorrow even longer. But it's okay, it's all good work stuff. Only bummer is: no workout until Thursday :/

 

Food: breakfast...banana.

Lunch: salad of mixed greens, cucumber, tomato, sesame seeds, pine nuts. Dressing: olive oil, ACV, mustard, dill. <--SO GOOD!

Dinner: broth. 2 chicken thighs.

 

I'm still kind of hungry, but don't have the energy to cook anything. But oh snap! I just found a Larabar. I'm going to put on my jammies and relax now.

 

I've been trying to sleep better. It's kind of working. I turn off the TV/computer/iPad, etc., and go read before bed. I've been listening to meditation podcasts as I go to sleep, to try to ease myself into sleep with a relaxed mind. Last night it did NOT work. I think because I ate all those dates before bed--so much sugar. They were good though.

 

A week from today is my first therapy appointment. Looking forward to it, I think. I just need to get my head together. And my heart. Okay I'm not thinking about any of that right now. I need to go to bed peacefully, not sad and depressed. Also, I haven't been able to get ahold of any of my friends lately, and I'm bummed out about that. I'm lonely. So that's why I need to stay away from thinking about the sadness.

 

Anyway. Time to hit the hay.

[robotarmy]

Yesterday I had a lengthy fight over text message with a man, and it was not pretty. Things were said that needed to be said, on both sides. I feel much better today after we fought, but our relationship, such as it is, is completely dysfunctional right now. We may continue to be in contact, we may have to just go our separate ways entirely. But both of us need the space.

Did this derail my whole30? Yep. I won't lie, it did.

[robotarmy]

Okay, I'm back. I'm doing this. Starting today. Whole30, Late Summer Deluxe Edition. Today, August 24, is day 1. Yep, I'm still in the middle of a whole bunch of stuff. Yep, there are still many many emotional complications in my life. Yep, I still have a dysfunctional relationship with someone I care about, and I may see him next week. Yep, this will be a big challenge. But you know what? I realized that I've been letting life happen to me. And I'm not happy with how things are going. So I've decided to happen to life. And that starts right now. With food. I'm taking back the things that are rightfully mine: happiness, stability, and health.

 

What brought this on? I looked in the mirror. I saw someone struggling. I saw someone who was unhappy. I saw someone who is filled with flaws and failures. I saw someone whose clothes had gotten tight. I saw someone who has gained 20 pounds in the last four months.

 

But I saw something else. I saw someone strong. I saw someone who has potential. I saw someone who has achieved great things. I saw someone professionally successful. I saw someone who can do pull-ups. I saw someone who can run half marathons. I saw someone who loves and is loved.

 

All of these things, the good and the bad, are the reality of who I am right now. I can't help my flaws and failures, but I can help myself to strengthen and succeed. And I start today.

[robotarmy]

Went to a potluck thrown by my paleo meetup group last night. Such a nice time! I talked to some really nice people, and was even in a position to educate some paleo newbies! I chatted with folks I'd met at previous meetups, and also even networked a little bit! The food was great, as always.( I did eat 2 bacon-wrapped jalapenos, and so I really truly begin my Whole30 today.) There was one little thing that bothered me, though: it's stated clearly in the meetup invite what not to bring. And yet there were falafel chips and hummus, and a corn salad. Now...someone might say that I'm making too big of a thing about this, but...really? You're going to a paleo potluck. A large point is the food. It isn't in the spirit of the meal to bring those foods. I mean, you wouldn't take a sausage platter to a vegan potluck, right? That's like saying, "Oh, I only had one drink during my Whole30 so it doesn't count." I dunno. I didn't eat the non-paleo stuff. And no need to drop in and tell me I'm making too much of this. I'm just writing words.

 

Oh, and on the way back from the dinner, my oil pressure light came on in my car briefly, so I stopped to get a quart to put in. I had trouble getting the cap off, and I became very anxious about it all. But I persisted and was triumphant.

 

Anyway. So breakfast: hash of yams, onions, and eggs done in coconut oil. Leftover chicken from last night, warmed in duck fat.

 

Oh! The chicken I made last night was a recipe I got from nom nom paleo. It was great! Chile lime chicken. If you need a good chicken recipe, check it. It's good.

 

My parents are coming up to hang out today. Get some dinner, maybe catch a movie. I'm grateful that they are, I am really in need of their support. Also, I have a short work week (4 days of work, then I just have to go in on Friday but won't work that day--don't ask why) then I head out of town for a couple days. I initially bought this plane ticket to go visit a guy, but we broke up at the beginning of July. So now I'm going to visit other friends. We haven't decided if we will see each other while I'm there. We fought a couple of weeks ago, and then had a long productive discussion a few days later. We're weighing the wisdom of seeing each other. I just don't know.

 

Also also, I'm going out on a date on Tuesday. My heart really isn't in it, but I should get out and meet new people. And if a man wants to call me pretty and buy me dinner? That's okay with me.

 

Alright, more later.

[Snow]

Sometimes it's just not the right time xxx