Kellys First Whole30 Log

[kellyg624]

Today is day 2 for me! Day 1 was a success.

 

I'm tackling a lot of issues with this Whole30. For one, I'm doing it AIP style, as I have been struggling for the last year with various health issues and *suspect* that I have some kind of autoimmune condition, although nothing has been diagnosed.

 

Secondly in conjunction with my Whole30, I am tackling other "psychologically addictive" substances which are having a negative impact in my life.  I am going completely off my stimulant ADHD meds (Adderall) as well as giving up a long standing coffee addiction.

 

Thirdly, I have been struggling with an eating disorder since I was 14, and although my relationship with food has improved, ive still struggled with bulimic patterns for the past 4 years.  I really think that giving up some of the psychologically addictive foods altogether, while giving my body the nourishment it needs, will allow me to overcome that demon.

 

I don't have any doubts in myself or my ability to do this.  I just have to remember to take things one day at a time, and that with a little patience, good things will come out of this!

 

I really have committed myself to this and Ive been planning this for a while.  Ive even taken off of work in order to successfully do this.

 

Suprisingly, it hasn't been terribly difficult so far.  Im physically and mentally pretty tired and even walking seems like it requires more energy than I have, but im doing my best to walk a few miles a day for now.  yesterday I walked 5 miles and so far today I walked 2-3.

 

I also practice Bikram Yoga. Unfortunately I got into a biking accident a week ago and my ankle and knee are still swollen and my body is still pretty badly bruised so im giving it a few more days before I return to the studio.  I honestly don't know if id have the energy to do much right now anyway.

 

All I want to do is SLEEP!!!!!! Ive slept 10+ hours the last 2 nights and have taken a few cat naps as well.  Im already ready for another one today! goodness!!!  Im trying to be kind to myself and listen to my body and give it what it needs.

 

Ive been taking pictures of my meals, ill have to try to find a way to upload them here.

 

This morning I had Mediterranean Salmon and rosemary roasted carrots and rhutabega (sp?) for breakfast.  Ill be having Shrimp and Avocado salad for lunch and for dinner Ill be eating Lemon and Garlic Marinated Chicken Breast with Beet and Kohlrabi braised greens.

 

IF I have the energy today, I may work on getting my first batch of Kombucha started!

 

Besides the lethargy and slight depression, Im totally impressed how easy the withdrawals from Adderall and coffee have been so far! Ive only had ONE headache and despite my lack of energy, my moods are actually still pretty positive and steady AMAZING, and Im absolutely positive that's because Im finally doing something right by keeping the bad off of my plate and focusing on putting in good healing foods and giving my body the sleep (and little bit of movement!) that it needs to heal!

 

Im excited to see where my journey takes me, and I do hope to update my log pretty regularly.  Any and all support is more than welcomed! <3

[mangio_bene]

Sometimes trying to do too much at once will be overwhelming over time. Good luck to you.

 

To upload photos click on the "More Reply Options" button and it will have the necessary Browse/upload features.  Personally, I like it when people post food photos. I do it sometimes.

[kellyg624]

Today was my Day 3. 

 

Sadly, I made some bad choices and Im going to have to start my Whole30 over. 

 

I'm supposed to be spending the day with my family (they're driving to pick me up now).  This morning I had woken up naturally after a little over 9 of sleep.  I ate my Whole30 breakfast and then went for a 2 mile walk. 

 

Then I took a shower and started the daunting task of finding something to wear and that's basically where I got really upset and had a little meltdown.  Well I should also mention that before I jumped in the shower I decided to take my medication because even though the first 2 days off Adderall and coffee went rather smoothly, the withdrawals were starting to hit me hard this morning and I decided I wasn't okay with being in that state when I was supposed to be spending the day with my family. 

 

Then of course, trying to find something to wear.  Ive been in a process of improving my diet as well as easing off my meds over the last few months and even though I don't know numbers, Im certain ive gained a substantial amount of weight (prob nearing a 20lb weight gain now.)  As you might be able to guess, none of my clothes are quite fitting like they use to, if at all. 

 

Then to add to my growing frustration and discouragement over my weight gain, my body is still covered in unsightly bruises from my biking accident, which are ugly (and scary!) enough that they really need to be covered atm.  To top it all off, my face has been having a bad breakout/dry peeling skin over the last week and my face/cheeks had started swelling.  which im assuming is a temporary  side effect from stopping the Adderall and coffee.

 

Anyway, my emotional state of agitation escalated quickly and somehow I found myself doing the thing that made the most sense when you're freaking out about being too large to fit in your own clothes....I binged on the box of oreos (my roommates, not mine.)

 

Anyway, ive since calmed down since my episode.  Im taking responsibility for both taking the Adderall and b/ping on oreos as they were MY CHOICES.  I can't change the past, all I can do is take responsibility.  Im getting right back on the Whole30 bandwagon.

 

I already have my meals prepared for tonight and tomorrow as im sleeping at my parents house and they know im bringing my own food as ive shared with them my current plans to do this whole30 and get off meds.

 

I don't want to be reliant on ADHD meds (or coffee) to get through the day for the rest of my life. Im not okay with settling for that, when I know it comes at such a huge price and ultimately leaves me feeling more and more rundown and stuck in an awful cycle of insomnia, stomach upsets, poor relationship with my food, blood sugar swings, insane sugar cravings, sickness, etc etc.  I do believe that if I stick with the Whole30 long enough my energy will eventually return and my weight will find its happy spot.

 

So tomorrow Im starting my Day 1, although im getting right back on track this moment.  My parents are helping me bring my bike to the shop today so hopefully I can get it fixed as its been messed up since my biking accident.  Hopefully itll be fixed by tomorrow so I can get to the Bikram yoga studio.  That seriously has been the best compliment to making changes in my diet, its the place where I find my center and my calm, and realize that I am strong and resilient and can get through the tough days. 

 

I believe this is a worthy cause, and despite the 1293565 times I've failed at trying to make changes, I truly believe that if I keep trying I'll eventually overcome these obstacles.

 

Im grateful for the ever present opportunity to begin again.

[mangio_bene]

Sorry to hear about your withdrawals, Kelly.  I think you might have better luck if you just do one thing at a time ... and re-evaluate as time goes on.

[Kmlynne]

Best of luck to you on this journey!  One day at a time is a good way to look at it.

[kellyg624]

So it took me a little longer than I had hoped to get that discouragement out of my system and I took a few days hiatus instead of one.

 

Today is My day 1 and Im recommitting to finish what I set out to do. ONE DAY AT A TIME, of course.

 

My goals are still the same as before and the plan I am committing to is:

-Whole30 AIP (although I AM considering just doing a normal whole30, and dropping the AIP part, but that is to be decided. for now I plan on doing AIP)

-get off my ADHD meds

-give up coffee (for LOTS of reasons, especially for its addictive quality, its ability to induce a state of stress and anxiety in me, its potential to disrupt my sleep, its disruption of my bodys healing process, and stress to my liver, and also so I can save some money and use it to put all the good, healing foods in my body!)

 

Obviously these are some BIG things to be taking on, but ive been working towards all of them for a while.  Ive also finally arrived at a time where I have a whole month off of work that I planned to take in order to focus on working on these goals.  I am also working with a therapist to help me with these things, and my roommates, a few good friends, and family all are aware of the choice ive made to make these lifestyle changes. 

 

I do believe this is all VERY possible and its a worthy goal.  I no longer wish to live my life under the shadow (and countless side effects) of living my life dependent on prescription medication. 

 

I don't  know what these next 30 days will hold for me.  I expect a lot of ups and a lots of downs, but mostly im trying to not have a whole lot of expectations.  this is an experiment in which I get the joy of learning more about myself. that is a gift!

 

Im in it for the next 30 days, Ill do my best to update my log as much as I find it to be helpful in keeping myself on track.

 

Thank you to everyone who's commented and left me some encouragement and support so far! Im very grateful to know there are other people doing the same thing out there who think its worth it to cheer me on! You guys rock! Thank you!

[kellyg624]

Ive been taking pictures of the healthy meals Ive been cooking, ill do my best to post them here so it can be a nice visual of my journey. And, ya know, who doesn't love a healthy dose of food porn?!

 

This was my breakfast this morning! Lamb Meatballs with Garlic, Cinnamon, and Kalamata Olives, Rainbow Roasted Root Vegetables (heirloom carrots, turnips, Chioggia beets, and Rhutabega), Braised Kale and Swiss Chard, and Roasted Crookneck Yellow Squash!

 

On the menu for Lunch today is Seared Ahi Tuna Salad with Citrus-Avocado Dressing.

Dinner will probably be an Herb Rubbed Steak with some kind of combination of the vegetables I had at breakfast

 

I've really been enjoying teaching myself how to cook! Ill try to keep the pictures coming for ya'lls viewing pleasure

[kellyg624]

I made it through Day 1 just fine!

 

I made a DELICIOUS lunch, Seared Ahi Tuna with Citrus-Avocado Dressing! Ill try posting a photo soon.  I actually ended up eating the same thing for dinner as I didn't feel like waiting to cook another meal.  Plus I had some rosemary roasted root vegetables drizzled with olive oil.

 

I have some meat defrosting at the moment and Im about to make a big batch of "homemade sausages" with hidden liver.  Im hoping those turn out good. I plan on keeping a few for the next few days and then freezing the rest.

 

So to recap todays meals:

 

M1: Lamb meatballs, braised kale and swiss chard, crookneck squash, and rainbow roasted root veg, plus a cup of bone broth (around 9:30am)

M2: Seared ahi tuna salad with citrus-avocado dressing (1pm)

M3: Seared ahi tuna salad with citrus-avocado dressing, and rainbow roasted root veg (7pm)

 

The only beverage I drank today was water.  I did not take my medication.  And I DID finally go back to Bikram today!

 

One funny thing that Ive noticed is that over the last 24hours ive developed some sort of rash (looks a lot like eczema) on my left hand/wrist area, and it seems to be spreading to the right hand. Ive never had eczema before, but I did experience the same looking rash a few months back, shortly after I had shingles.  Im not sure what it is, but I have my suspicions that I may be related to some of the junk food Id put it my body in between whole30 attempts.

 

Only other thing is a feel a slight aching pain in my right side, dare I say my liver might be hurting? strange.

 

Anyway, Im very excited to see where these 30 days take me physically, and mentally, and even emotionally.  Here's to a good nights sleep tonight and a great Day 2 tomorrow!

[kellyg624]

I had to restart again, but things have really smoothed out since giving it a little more time off my meds.  Ive successfully got off my ADHD meds (today makes 2 weeks!) and am now refocusing on completing a Whole30.  Ive had a few off-plan things since getting off my meds, which is why I say Im restarting, but overall *most* of my meals/days in the last 3+ weeks have been Whole30 style/approved.  It really do believe in this way of eating and want to use this self-experiment as a fuel for lasting long-term change.

 

So far I can PROUDLY say that following this way of eating gives me MUCH more control over sugar cravings and the impulse to binge on all things sugar and comfort food (which quickly becomes a step backward into old bulimic habits for me.)  Ive only had 1 small binge in the last 3 weeks since working at this WOE and I didn't purge.  For me, this is HUGE progress and Im very proud of myself.  I still have cravings but now I also have much more of a sense of control over them, probably because my blood sugar isn't constantly soaring and crashing. Hurray!

 

Anyway, because I had an alcoholic beverage on Tuesday, today is technically day 3 for me.  Im going on vacation with my family on June 27, so that's just enough time to complete a whole30 before! 

 

Im also on day 2 off of caffeine and my goal is to go the rest of my 30 days without that as I no longer want to rely on drugs of any kind to stimulate me with a false sense of energy.  I want to learn to fuel my body appropriately so I have natural energy, from sleeping well at night to waking up in the day time and giving my body healthy, healing foods, and exercise.

 

Some goals for my Whole30:

-Id like to see my sleep improve. lately ive been struggling to fall asleep at night, waking up in the middle of the night, and generally feel like my sleep quality is poor

-better blood sugar stability

-i'd like better energy and for it to be more consistent throughout the day instead of up and down

-id like to see an overall improvement in my mental health (lift depression, clearer thoughts, motivation, focus, etc)

 

 

In addition, I just went to the doctor and got some blood work.  There are several points that were out of balance.  Im hoping that with enough time and patience, putting in good food and none of the bad as well as improving sleep and continuing my walking and bikram practice, that all of these will get back into a healthy range.  We'll be retesting again in a few months so Im hoping to see some improvements. these are the current health concerns:

---very low blood pressure (80/50)

---anemic

---low fsh

---low estradiol

---low white blood cell count

 

Im hoping that eliminating the caffeine will help with the anemia.  Ive also been including chicken liver in my diet recently as well as plenty of dark leafy greens.  I really do think that if I just keep working at it, my health will see some significant improvements in the next few months.

 

Right now my biggest frustration is with the fatigue and a lack of energy. Again, im also tackling a longstanding coffee dependence so its very likely that *some* of the fatigue is related to withdrawals.

 

Today I will say that im craving sugar which Ive noticed is a trend when my energy is low. yesterday I took a power nap and that helped me significantly. Today Im hoping to do the same! who doesn't love a good nap?!