No Official Start Date - Just Getting Back to Good

[anastacia]

Hi, my name is Anastacia. This will be a long and tedious post, but I think I need to put it out here where I can't it back and I can feel committed to getting back to good. And honestly it'll be more personal than I want to be, but... Yeah.

I've spent the last year or so since my first W30 in what I call a depressive funk and pretty much gave up on everything. I didn't care about a single thing: not my job performance, not the state of my house, and certainly not my diet of fast food for at least one meal a day. And this has left me with a host of consequences that I'm trying to remedy. The last couple of months I have been working on crawling out of the hole I dug for myself. A major part of this was get a hold of my eating habits. I've joined weight watchers - which is nice but I've re-learned that I cannot eat in moderation. It tends to end up with me binge eating over the weekends, feeling guilty, and just not really going anywhere. In light of this, I've chosen to return to the W30. This program is difficult for me since I hate cooking with a passion and I'd much rather stick my head in the sand instead of be accountable for my poor choices; however I keep thinking on my first W30. It sucked the first half but at the end, I felt so much better and just happy. Not meh, not mediocre, but I was happy again. I miss that feeling and I know in my head that I am okay, but I need to feel it again.

So this is my second round of the W30. I would like to say that I have a set date to begin but due to the start up costs of replacing nearly all the food in my house, I don't really have any set date. So as the junk is used up (my calculations say that it should be a few weeks) I'll replace it with W30 compliant alternatives. In light of this slow start I've decided to extend the 30 day period out to a 60 or even a 90 day reset.

I know I could just set the official start date when my junk food is gone, but I'm afraid if I do that I'm going to treat every date until then as a last hoorah, which is what happened the first time I did a W30 and left me with multiple restarts. I'll be slowly working into changing my diet to become W30 compliant and once I'm there, make it official. I realize that's not the usual process but I've got to start somewhere and sadly that hole I'm clawing out of is much, much deeper than I had realized when I finally looked up from my funk.

So yeah... I've got a rough plan right now that I will continue to refine and will be doing my best to not the stress of reclaiming my life set me back to where I was when I "woke up".

Anyway, kudos to all of us working on getting back to good. Hope to see you there down the road.