Whole120

[ellie4]

Thanks for commenting and for that link. I actually didn't remember the stuff about my doctor and the timeline of it quite right at first. It was not my normal doctor who accused me of having an eating disorder, but another doctor I saw once at that clinic. My own doctor thought she was out of line for suggesting that. However, I did just connect that the accusation was actually before I lost the weight or became underweight. The doctor asked how much I weighed, and I simply remarked that I was about 5 pounds higher than normal that day (because I had been anemic and going to the doctor a lot and I knew they always ask if your weight has changed). It was honestly a unremarkable comment, but the doctor flipped out and started asking me when the last time I made my puke was and grilling my mom about if I skipped meals. I started food journaling that day so I could show my own doctor that I really didn't have an eating disorder (and continued doing so in case any of the specialists I was seeing thought that). Because I genuinely didn't at that time, I was just anemic and had no appetite. But within sixth months of that appointment, I had lost 15 pounds without trying or wanting to and was about five pounds underweight. I did not consciously restrict foods and never skipped meals, but I didn't eat much because I was never hungry. I didn't mind losing the first few pounds but after that I was alarmed. I genuinely was not trying to lose weight. I ended up having to learn to force myself to eat when I wasn't hungry and to gauge my food visually rather than relying on hunger.

I wouldn't classify it as any specific eating disorder, but certainly I have had some amount of disordered eating ever since that unfounded accusation about 7 years ago. I did fairly well on Paleo the first time, but this is not healthy for me anymore. I think I'm going to eat gluten-free and leave it at that. I was eating gluten free when I was first diagnosed with asthma, and it was still better controlled then than it is now when I'm on medication. Between that and the medicine, I'm going to let that be enough.