kristilarson

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  1. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    I HEAR YOU! I'm so sick of cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. I want a mindless meal! Day 19 (Friday) was the day I nearly quit. First of all, I broke a rule. I got on the scale. I texted a friend of mine (who has not done Whole30), expecting her to say, "Yes, I agree, you should quit," but she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear! So I kept at it. I even prepared a couple of really good and compliant meals this weekend. I'm feeling very isolated as a result of this program. I find that it's easier to stay cooped up in my apartment instead of trying to socialize. I didn't play in the company softball game on Friday, and I backed out of plans to go to the beach yesterday, for no good reason. I don't miss alcohol, but I miss being able to grab a drink with my friends after work. My body isn't craving the sugar, but I'd love to be able to grab an ice cream cone on a really hot summer day. Now, I shouldn't blame the diet entirely, as I'm also grieving and a little depressed, but the diet is not helping. Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of myself for doing this for 21 days already. I honestly wasn't sure I'd able to do this at all. This will be a HUGE victory for me, doing this for 30 days. Also, I know it'll be frowned upon, but I don't plan on doing the reintroduction, at least as it's written. I'm traveling for a family event Aug 9-12, and I don't want to have to concern myself with this the entire time. Maybe I'll still choose to be compliant for half of every day, or maybe I'll choose do some other form of diet when I return. I hope I can make better choices as a result of this, and maybe I'll revisit it someday, but right now, I just want it to end.
  2. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    Don't be too hard on yourself. It was just an oops! I've only done this in my dreams...once was pasta, the second time was cheese. I couldn't even enjoy the food in my dreams, though, because I knew it was off limits! It's so difficult to have to think about ingredients constantly! We have a work outing on an island this Monday, and I'm going to have to bring all my own food. No open bar for me either.
  3. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    I made the mistake of not taking my daily omeprazole yesterday. I thought, 'Maybe my heartburn will magically be gone after 10 days without fried foods, alcohol, sugar, etc.' I mean, I know I have the hiatal hernia, but it's a small one, so I thought maybe dietary changes would help knock the heartburn down. NOPE! I thought I was going to throw up during my workout. I took a pill last night, and then my regular dose this morning. I'm almost feeling back to normal. Maybe I'll try it again at 30 days, but I'm expecting more of the same, so I'm not sure it's worth it. Day 12 is mostly over! This weekend could be a challenge for me...I'm participating in a read-a-thon so I know I'll be snacky! I'll be reading 24 out of 48 hours, with the rest of the time dedicated to sleep and meals and mini breaks. I know I need to make a meal plan for the weekend, but I haven't had time yet today.
  4. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    I'm feeling the same way! I'm having to make myself eat because I'm just not interested.
  5. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    Mostly through Day 9. My cravings were screaming at me yesterday! Much louder than last week. I'm also feeling grumpy, because of the heat, and my period. I'm surprised it took 9 days, but earlier today I thought that maybe I should quit. I think it happened after I saw the announcement that work is serving lasagna at our weekly meeting tomorrow. Sigh. I miss cheese and bread more than sugar, which isn't what I expected. I just feel so unsatisfied. Anyway, it's been getting harder this week, so I should probably reach out to the Forum more often. Good work, everyone! I know we're all putting in a lot of effort. One reason I decided to start the program was because the first half of 2019 has been incredibly difficult, and I now have time to re-focus on myself. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in May 2018, but it had already spread to his brain. (DO NOT SMOKE CIGARETTES. THEY CAN LITERALLY KILL YOU.) Brain surgery and countless chemo, radiation, and immunotherapy treatments bought him some more time, but he passed away on June 3 of this year, at the age of 61. I have traveled between Boston and North Dakota 5 times since February, one of those times by car (solo, 1710 miles each way, 3 audio books). I missed several weeks of work, always worrying that I'd have to take unpaid time off or, worse, lose my job (luckily, neither thing happened). I was training for a half marathon set for May 11th, but I had to cancel when it was a week out. Honestly, I wasn't physically or mentally prepared, so it's probably for the best. I was eating poorly, with all this travel. And let's face it, I was exhausted and didn't care all that much about what I was putting in my body. I thought I'd be able to see him through to the end, but it was just too hard. He could no longer live alone. His brain was just too damaged--he no longer knew what decade or state he was in. I had to make some really difficult decisions, and get him admitted to the hospital and then into a nursing home. I did these things largely on my own. My sister lived in his town, but was in and out of the picture. It was best that she mostly stayed away, because I'd discovered that she had been forging checks from his bank account for months. My dad's sister was helpful in the way that she wanted to talk about the situation constantly and offer her help, but didn't always take action (she was also a 5 hour drive away from him). In the end, he only lasted 3 weeks after going into the hospital. I had to take in his 17-year-old cat, one of the best cats I've ever met, but who hasn't exactly been welcomed with open paws by my 17-year-old cat. (They're actually from the same litter!) I'm trying to take my life back, now that I don't have this cancer hanging over me, in the background of every thought. Within an hour of Dad dying, I felt a literal weight come off of my shoulders. I was finally able to think about the future. I don't mean The Future, but like, yes, I'll be able to attend that conference for work in a couple weeks. I no longer had to worry that my dad would 'choose' early September to die so that I wouldn't be able to be Maid of Honor in a wedding in Seattle. (I won't go into the guilt I feel about being relieved that he has died. It's a stage of grief, apparently.) I'm seeing a therapist, and I'm happy to be back at work, and in my own home. I'm signed up for a half marathon in February (in Bermuda!). I'm going to 2 other weddings this year. And now I have time to reset my diet. Although after typing this paragraph, I'm wondering why I decided to tackle something difficult on top of it all. Grieving is hard enough, and now I'm denying myself comfort food and tasty beers! But also: I want to live! I want to live a long life! I didn't really intend on going into everything, but once I started, it couldn't be stopped. I'm grieving, even though it doesn't always feel that way, and when it does feel that way, I feel like I'm doing it incorrectly. I guess I wanted to share my story because if I seem really negative about the Whole30 experience, it might not just be about the diet. Kristi
  6. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    Halfway through Day 5. I took everyone's advice and stopped counting calories. There were temptations at work both yesterday and today, in the form of cheese, bread, alcohol, bagels, donut holes, and muffins, but I abstained. It wasn't even that difficult. I'm not having the wild sugar cravings I anticipated, maybe because I'm eating more fruit than I had been. I dreamed that I ate some pasta, but I didn't even get to enjoy it in my dream because I knew I wasn't supposed to be having it. I'm missing cheese and yogurt a LOT. I was eating leftovers last night, and it wasn't until I was done that I remembered that I was eating riced cauliflower and NOT rice. That doesn't mean that I was exactly satisfied by the cauliflower, but I like it enough. I'm feeling a little sad because I don't look forward to meals anymore. I just can't get EXCITED about vegetables like I could about pizza, or sushi, or even a simple sandwich. I miss the CONVENIENCE of my 'usual' diet. It's Friday afternoon, I'm tired from the week, and the last thing I want to do is stop at the store and then cook. That doesn't mean I am ready to drop this program, but I'm feeling a little annoyed and sad at the moment.
  7. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    Day 2 went pretty well. I feel like I ate too many calories, considering that I would like to lose a few pounds while doing this, but I followed the rules at least. I'm on Day 3. Today is challenging at work--Dunkin Donuts in the kitchen this morning, our lunch meeting was catered, and there will be birthday cake at my 4:00 meeting. I was easily able to say no to the donuts, and to the lunch because I brought a chorizo and sweet potato hash, but the cake will be more difficult to resist. I also need to go a pub this evening to pick up my bib for a 5K tomorrow. I feel a little guilty for having a smoothie for breakfast even though it was all allowed, but I like to have some variety in my meals, so I didn't want what I'd had the last two days. I know I'm only on Day 3, but I'm still trying to get a good balance of protein, fat, and carbs with each meal. I'm trying to follow what my FitBit suggests: 45-65% carb, 10-35% protein, and 20-35% fat. One reservation I have with Whole 30 is that I don't like to eat this much meat. Although I do eat all meat types except for beef, I don't really relish the idea of incorporating more meat into my diet. I'll plan to make a fish recipe next. One positive about today: I DON'T HAVE TO COOK. Yay, leftovers.
  8. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    @coachmandiepI didn't have any plated fat. Thanks for the advice, I didn't think of that. I also just realized that I forgot to add the toasted sesame seeds, oops. I don't like to cook every day-it's so much work for one person! And I don't have a dishwasher, so part of the problem is the clean-up. I'm so annoyed. I just realized that the cashews I bought at Target (and both the almonds and cashews stocked at work) contain peanut oil! Why? I really don't feel like spending more money on cashews. They were part of my lunch yesterday, and are supposed to be today as well. I forgot my snacks at home today. Luckily I work near a Whole Foods, so I'll probably be making a quick trip over there.
  9. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    End of Day 1: I did really well today, but I didn't feel satisfied after dinner. I made the Pork and Pepper Stir-fry, with some baby potatoes. I probably didn't eat enough, but it didn't have much flavor. I hope it tastes better tomorrow, because I have leftovers! Maybe I'll add more red pepper flakes. Also, watching the Food Network isn't a good idea for me right now!
  10. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    Thanks for the reminder! I looked into my 5 medications/vitamin, but there's only one that I'm willing to ditch for 30 days (hair, skin, and nails vitamin). One of my goals of this program is to get off the daily heartburn medication, or to at least see if it's possible. I have a small hiatal hernia, but I'd like to see if dietary changes can eliminate or greatly reduce the heartburn.
  11. kristilarson

    Starting July 8th and Preparing for All the Suck

    I'm also starting on July 8th! I've never done Whole30 before, but I'm in need of a reset. I've gained 20 pounds in 2 years, when I moved from Colorado to Boston. I was more active in CO, and it's really easy to make poor food and beverage decisions in Boston and at my job. I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia in April 2018, which explains my daily heart burn. Between May 2018 and June 2019, I was traveling a lot to care for my father. He recently passed away, so now I have the time to dedicate to getting my own life on track. I know I will struggle with Whole30...the Sugar Dragon and I are very well acquainted. But my body is telling me that I need to make it a priority, so I’m ready to give this a try!