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Everything posted by Greg65

  1. STATS: March 1, 2020. Weight, 180. Noticeable pooch on my gut. LDL number, a few weeks ago, was a shocking 199. Percent body fat unknown but it's got to be 22-28%, despite frequent exercise. Goals: Eliminate snacking and emotionally-driven after dinner eating. Eliminate (for 30 days) grains, soft cheeses, sugars, and high-carb extras in my diet. Might allow a cheat day after the 30 days, but it's a slippery slope. Over the next two months, reduce weight to 168-175 range, with gut fat greatly reduced (about 3 extra inches now). Get LDL down at least 40 points to 160. OK, Day 2. Yesterday, starving most of the day. Not enough protein I guess. Sawed off some pieces of cheese to stave off the hunger. Ate celery. Did pretty good. No after dinner snacking. Still not real clear on what's in, and what's out, but have generally followed the Carbohydrate Addict's Diet for 17 years now and it's pretty similar but focused on controlling insulin release. Great bone broth soup for dinner. Lunch, had some dulce which was very good and some smoked salmon. Half an avocado. Didn't really eat a big enough lunch. A little exercise, about 5 k to the store and back on the bici. Grade: B+ DAY 3: Breakfast--3 cups of coffee with coconut oil stirred in with immersion blender. First cup also had zucca oil, squash oil. One zucchini fried in rice oil with two steamed soft-yolk eggs. Three or four glasses of water. Supplements, stays the same about every day. Zinc, lion's mane, D, Niacin, R-Alpha Lipoic acid, Ubiquinol (form of CoQ10), small amount of ginseng powder. Plan--big salad for lunch with turkey. Soup again for dinner, beets (made from whole, fresh organic), maybe broccoli.
  2. DAY 31 Weigh-in Lost 7 lbs. That exceeds my expectations, and puts me about in the target range. 5' 11" 173 lbs. I noticed that my muscle tone had returned--there was a layer of fat over the top before, and my pants are a bit looser. But not that much loss in inches. Watched Game Changers last night on Netflix. It makes a compelling case for plant-based eating. And demonstrates very clearly that meat fucks up your body in all kinds of ways. But I don't know what my optimal diet looks like. Carbs for me promote a craving for more carbs. I was up to 207 lbs 17 years ago, borderline Type 2 Diabetes, and batshit crazy--pretty much. Digging a grave with a fork as they say. I steered out of that skid with Carbohydrate Addicts diet, meat and vegetables and limiting eating to 3 meals and eating within one hour at night. Saved my ass. Stabilized my blood sugar problems, and my afternoon energy crash went away. Now, I'm wondering if there's a turn in the road again, a way to primarily eat plant based and supplement B12, which is not in most food because of the damage to the soil from pesticides and stuff. But I have a garden now, and I think the soil is healthy around here. Hmmmm. Healthy Cognitive Dissonance.
  3. OK, last meal. Again, poor preparation. My wife was going to make a chicken soup but got tied up on a call. So, I stuck to my guns for the last meal. Sardines for protein. Half a squash with coconut oil. Beets with ghee. I'm so full right now, 2.5 hours after having eaten. Didn't really eat that much today but was full. Lunch, small head of broccoli with mayo.
  4. Day 30!!!!!!!! OK, skipped a couple days in this journal that nobody will read. Here we are. Last day. Rather dreading getting on the scales. A voice in my head is saying I'm going to be angry and disappointed as I stare in disbelief at 1.5 lbs weight loss. Could happen. Still not thin as a rail. But hey people I'm 65. I've struggled the last few days wanting something to brighten up my meals. Last night, post-dinner, an apple and a banana and a few hazelnuts. Felt like I was cheating royally. Dinner was difficult because both my wife and I were busy with other things and didn't cook and prep like normal. Scrounged by on some leftover mashed potatoes, nothing off plan in them, mixed with an egg and asparagus slices. Pan fried this. Cooked up some cauliflower. Gnawed on some chicken. Hungry later, and then the fruit--which I really didn't ever eat much of because of blood sugar spiking and insulin release which led to carb cravings. But it seemed OK, about an hour after dinner. I had a big slip the other night. First off, a big fuck you to the finger-wagging rule hounds. This is my experiment and not yours, so I'm calling the slip "early feedback." A problema that has added some challenge to this is my wife is not on board, and her diet includes various grains, chocolate, non-wheat pasta, and shit like baked crust made with almond flour and other alternative flours which she spreads jam on and stuff. So having that wagged in my face has been rough at times. She has a severe allergy to any form of authority, so I think just having rules in the room that I happened to be following triggered a rebellions middle finger in her, as if she needed to demonstrate that she by God was not going be held accountable, and not only that she was going to defy the thing. So the other night she made soup. Started out just potatoes and asparagus, leaks and onions and mushrooms. She tossed in a coffee creamer of unsweetened soy milk, very thick and concentrated. Didn't ask. So I'm fucking starving, it's about 8:15 at night, I had no alternative dishes to yank out of the refrigerator, so I took the soup and ate it. It was delicious. And, right after eating, my head felt stuffed up. I was exhausted. My thinking was muddled. I attribute this to the effect of the soy milk. So that shit is off my diet plan. Don't need that again. I did have a quarter tsp. of Tamari soy sauce twice this month (another big fuck you to the shaming rule hounds who would put me in stocks in the public square for ths), and it did not have any negative effect. Fermented is the difference I suspect plus the very small quantity. I am worried about re-entry. I don't want to jump right back on the train and start up with the chocolate, peanuts, etc. I've been so clear headed and felt so good. So perhaps I'll build a structure, like Tues. and Thurs. is open to allow a few things to be reintroduced. The soy was a good test--it wasn't mixed in with other off plan things so it was clear that my body didn't like it. Basta! Finito! Done. We're on quarantine or I'd take a 30 mile bike ride today, though it is rather damp and could rain.
  5. DAY 27 Last night, a big bowl of the vinegar slaw. Red cabbage, small amount of green onions, a dash of cayenne. After sitting in the vinegar for two days, it was getting like a mild sauerkraut. Very delicious. Had that and a chicken soup made with chicken wings seared with seasoning and lots of leeks and potatoes in the soup. Incredible. After dinner, ate a couple apples and felt like I was cheating my ass off. Today, the 27th, a perch fillet with rucola (I'm forgetting how to spell this in English). Very satisfying. The idea of damaging my health as a form of entertainment is becoming a bit bizarre. Like, what the fuck, you crack head.
  6. Post-breakfast, Day 26 Woo fucking Hoo. I'm doing this thing. Just ate a HUGE breakfast. Left-over green salad with beets (fresh not canned, cooked and then put in the fridge); a few walnuts, endive, radicchio, arugula, and lettuce from a beautiful head we got at the organic market. Olive oil and a good balsamic on it, lightly dressed. Then, sauteed mushrooms, two kinds, cooked in olive oil with zucchini and two eggs, soft yolks, steamed on top of the zuch's and 'shrooms. Huge, delicious, and satisfying. Last night, really good brussel sprouts, steamed broccoli, and the salad above. Couldn't choke it all down. Left a good deal of it, and ate in about 15 minutes. Later in the evening, fresh coconut dug out of the shell, and some strawberries plain with nothing on them. Felt like I was cheating. Still not much or any weight loss that I can see. Perhaps some fat around my kidney area has melted off. Gut is still a bit paunchy. Who knows, but I 'd guess 2-3 lbs weight loss at this point. One theory that hasn't panned out is that foot fungus--athlete's foot--is maintained or worsened by sugar in the diet. Well, it's still there and quite bad. Have to use vinegar and acid water to keep it at bay. The biggest shift is my mind is calmer, I'm more present, and I attend to things with less emotional static and unnecessary drama. Simple things. I had some soup bones that went bad, so I put them in the freezer. Today I got them out in the 'humido" or organic waste bin. Not a big deal, but easy to forget and those sorts of details are popping into my mind more easily.
  7. Day 23 Getting a bit bored with the blandness of things. Felt cravings, not really for "bad" things, just more variety. Ended up eating a carrot and an apple and a bit of coconut to beat back the urges to snack. Doing pretty well though. No going clear off into the weeds.
  8. Day 21 (yesterday, since I write these a day later) Put some healthy beef bones with some meat and fat on them in the oven for an hour, the night before on March 20th. In the morning I put them in a pot to simmer all day with an onion and bay leaves, and some apple cider vinegar to extract the minerals. For dinner we had a beautiful soup with lots of onions and mushrooms. Quite thin and simple, but very nourishing. Wanted a nice piece of bread real bad to dunk in the soup. Lunch I had some sauerkraut and I forget what else. Small salad with chicken I guess. At night, not really having had that much all day, was hungry and ate an apple and a few coconut chips, and a few hazelnuts. Felt like I was cheating. Energy has been good, though yesterday half sick all day with a bad head cold. Feeling better today.
  9. Day 21 (yesterday, since I write these a day later) Put some healthy beef bones with some meat and fat on them in the oven for an hour, the night before on March 20th. In the morning I put them in a pot to simmer all day with an onion and bay leaves, and some apple cider vinegar to extract the minerals. For dinner we had a beautiful soup with lots of onions and mushrooms. Quite thin and simple, but very nourishing. Wanted a nice piece of bread real bad to dunk in the soup. Lunch I had some sauerkraut and I forget what else. Small salad with chicken I guess. At night, not really having had that much all day, was hungry and ate an apple and a few coconut chips, and a few hazelnuts. Felt like I was cheating. Energy has been good, though yesterday half sick all day with a bad head cold. Feeling better today.
  10. Day 20 Still half sick. Ate a big dinner--roasted chicken and potatoes, squash with coconut oil. I did a small cheat that I'm letting slide. About a tsp of plain goat's milk yogurt unsweetened on the potatoes. I'm good with that. After dinner, some hunger around two hours later. Ate one apple and a very small amount of cashew-based fake cheese, Sat and smelled the popcorn my wife made. It was good for me to smell it, feel the urge to dig in, think about the binge-type behavior that would have resulted in making a second batch and eating a huge bowl of it. And just not doing it. Today my wife is sick, some sort of flu bug I guess, and she regrets the popcorn binge because she has various dietary problems also and she shouldn't have eaten all of that.
  11. DAY 19 Have a head cold, or maybe it's allergies, that has returned after I thought it was gone. Yesterday, feeling a bit rocky and off center. Tired. Appetite down. Normal breakfast, two eggs fried zucchini. Late lunch, like 4, and couldn't finish a huge salad I made. Three bites of leftover lamb. Dinner, finished the salad and added beets and a few walnuts. Had a thin vegetable soup--- broth, carrots, celery, onions--with some added cayen to clear my head. Later, hungry, ate an apple and a tsp, of raisins and I was good. I must be losing weight because my intake has dropped off so much. Nothing real visible though. Need some good exercise today.
  12. My thinking has been so much more clear. I'm sleeping less, and have more energy. Yesterday, I did a rigorous bike ride up steep hills (my bike is electric but still, my heart was pumping hard a lot of the time). Then, a hike. Back home after 4 hours. All this on maybe 6 hours of sleep. No nap. Later, I was writing an article for Medium. The ideas were flowing and I was shocked when I realized it was way, way past midnight. This morning, work up at 6:15 and basta! All she wrote. Still up. Might nap later. Today it's almost one and I've eaten, meditated, gotten the article submitted, cleaned the bathroom and did dishes, and written a bunch of emails. That's an uptick. Another thing--I wrote an article on Medium that blew up. Massive number of views. I can't attribute that totally to the way of eating, but it's part of the picture. That dog-ass, poor me, slump shouldered, take a nap every day thing is sloping off. Oh, I'm 65.
  13. Day 17, over and done with. Did well yesterday. I ate (sounds horrible I know but I'm in Italy and they eat horse here, so this isn't so bad) rabbit liver and zucchini. I rode my electric bike up steep hills, parked it, and then hiked. A lot of exercise. Came back around 4 hours later and ate lunch at about 4:15. Chicken, salmon, salad. Olive oil and balsamic dressing. Dinner--vinegar coleslaw, more of that goddamn liver, asparagus. Clean. Feeling massive increase in clarity and energy. Boy howdy. Got the bear by the ass people.
  14. Not really getting enough to eat. I mean, I am I guess, in a nutritional sense. Yesterday, leisurely bike ride, a couple hours. Got home, ate a small portion of chicken and half an apple. Need to read the post-workout guidelines. Dinner, big coleslaw with caraway seeds, two different vinegars (no sugars). Carrots, purple cabbage, green cabbage. Two big portions. Rest of the goddamn bone broth soup. And that was that. Wanted bread, riso, cheese. Something added. But my body is now producing the "full" feeling, and the cravings an hour later have subsided. I knew I had put enough in my body to be OK. Light, clean, fine. Yeah, a big pork chop might have helped. But this morning my body feels pretty clear and good. Skin is clearing up. I don't think I'm really losing much weight, though no doubt overall calorie consumption has dropped off. So it's bound to show up. The emotional and psychological patterns around food are being illuminated. My wife is feeling the actual weight of her own eating routines, and the whole thing of "Well, Greg's gotta eat, you know him, so I'll make this and, gee whiz, that looks good. Maybe I'll have some," is dissolved. She makes a pot of riso and it's hers. She breaks out the chocolate, and it's totally her doing it. The co-dependence around food is busted up. And it's not a big "fuck you." It's just a gentle returning to our own lives, our own fucking lives man. This is me, this is me creating my existence. I am not an effect of the actions around me. I am not spun out of other's decisions. This is me, standing in the world. My own sacred ground. I am taking responsibility for what I'm doing here.
  15. Ate a ridiculously big salad with chicken today. Almost felt a bit sick. Too much of the soft greens. Need some more substantial kale or something but it's not really in season. More soup for dinner. My wife handed me a crepe made from four kinds of flour. I had the thing an inch from my pie hole before it dawned on me, "Hey, I can't eat that!" The fucking snake in the garden man. But doing ok.
  16. March 14--Did the soup and salad thing again. Getting a bit old. Lunch, huge salad with chicken on top. Olive oil and balsamic on it. Dinner, huge plate of mashed sweet potatoes with coconut oil in them. A from-scratch soup, rich broth, lots of vegetables. After dinner, not full enough so maybe an hour later ate an apple and a carrot, both raw of course. It didn't trigger a binge of eating though the thought crossed my mind. Managed to watch a This Is Us episode, calmly, without restlessly grabbing food. Sadly, I don't believe there's much fat burning and fat reduction in my body. It's got to show up though. Sheer calorie reduction, and bloating foods reduced. Glad I'm not on the scales getting discouraged by the number. Funny thing about the body. I guess if I had shit tons of money, I'd get liposuction and face surgery even though I'm a man and I'm not on the hunt.
  17. March 12, done with day 12! Successful, but rough day. Train ride to a doctor appt. Wasn't supposed to eat. Sonogram, imaging. I think they wanted my system clear. Anyhow, ate a good lunch at noon, small can of tuna, medium box of salad mix, olives, some cured, healthy deer meat. OK. But by the time I got home it was 5:45, and I was starving out of my mind. Had to cook chicken and make sweet potatoes. Made it through without grabbing cheese and bread, which were nearby. My blood sugar got pretty low. I stuffed some of the cured deer meat in my mouth and some raw fennel slices. Dinner--just oven baked chicken, good quality, and sweet potatoes with coconut oil mashed.
  18. Wed. March 11. Last night, feeling hot-headed from a cold, I ate a good-sized bowl of bone broth soup and some cold steamed Chinese cabbage with caraway seeds and a thick balsamic vinegar on it. It was surprisingly good. The soup had some beef in it from what was on the bones, and I think the broth is quite protein rich. Anyhow, this was all I ate and then I went to bed. I have a working theory now that a lot of the eating and basically fucking around and wasting time out of boredom is a net drain on energy and creativity. I'm getting published on Medium, and my productivity levels have been quite high. But I don't feel all manic and driven. It's quite clean and clear. Like now, I've been up for an hour. It's 6:31 AM. I've already responded to an editor who is picking up one of my articles. I'm more in the world and less drifting around in la la land. The struggle I was having with constant binge eating made me feel like shit about myself. It fed the inner critic, who was yelling in my head "Straighten up, what's the matter with you!"
  19. Tues. March 10. Day 10!! More healthy bone broth soup last night. I had some slight cravings later and had toasted coconut flakes, no additives or sugar, with salt. Satisfied me. My wife sat beside me and ate some cookies, albeit alternate grain cookies that taste a bit like cardboard. I'm proud of myself. I did not reach over and grab a handful. This is how it is. And I need to learn to coexist successfully and not blame my life on my wife. Foodwise, it's been going ok. It's too boring to post what I eat every day. But basically, breakfast is zucchini and two eggs. Lunch, a salad with roasted chicken. Dinner varies but heavy on soups, vegetables, salad, potatoes. Disappointingly, my belly still looks like there's a good three inches of padding on it, about like it was. I have not weighed--I don't need that discouragement. I pity the poor bastards who really need to lose 60 pounds or more and have severe health problems like bad knees or a weak heart. Funny how food sustains us and food can kill us.
  20. Sat. March 7 Cravings are letting up, though had a moment of peering in the fridge and desperately wanting a big hunk of cheese. Salad for both lunch and dinner. On-plan. Frypan cauliflower for dinner with garlic and seasoning. Was stuffed last night after dinner, and no cravings later. None at all. Having to do this within the context of problem foods. My wife is not on the diet, and she's buying cheese, cooking grains and pastas. Last night. millet cooked like a polenta with goat cheese on top--I cheated and politely ate one bite, but steeled myself and put the leftovers away. This is much more difficult than being on the same plan together, preparing our stock of food, and supporting each other. But, much of the problem has been letting myself go down the path of her diet--which is healthy for her and is working for her--but leads to binge eating and problems for me. I have to find the strength within to take care of myself and let others be --without anger or resentment or making a big deal out of it. It's very much like trying to quit drinking and having a housemate who keeps booze in the cupboards and who might offer a glass of wine, saying "oh, I thought you were off hard liquor. A little wine won't hurt. It's good for you."
  21. Thurs. & Friday, up through March 6th: Still cruising along. No big upsets. The food cravings were mostly due to not enough protein. Today, I had a decent amount of chicken for both lunch and dinner. Salads, roasted sweet potatoes in coconut oil warmed up from last night. Less cravings. Also, busy day today which makes a difference. Some strong desire for cheese and breads. My well-meaning wife bought a loaf of "healthy" rye bread. I put it in the freezer. She bought some aged goat cheese. I "cheated" and had a taste about a half tsp.-sized thin slice about the size of a nickel. But didn't go apeshit. Some of what's going on is readjusting boundaries. My well-meaning wife cannot stand boundaries or instructions from authority figures--her attitude, not totally wrong be any means, is "what the fuck do they know that I don't?" So she'll challenge things, even if its on my list. So, I've let that boundary get mushy and it's not been a good thing. No need to fight, just take care of my own stuff. She's a wonderful cook, so on the good side she makes some incredible, healthy from- scratch meals. Like the other night, broccoli cooked in fry pan with lots of garlic. Sweet potatoes roasted with some ground cloves and coconut oil.
  22. Wed. March 4.... Lunch at the neighbor's house. Preempted problems with an email requesting grilled vegetables, salad, and clarifying I'm not eating grains. Good lunch. Problems arose when a dessert was served--plain, no sugar, kiwis and strawberries. I'm thinking OK, this is on plan. I'm going to eat a bit of this. Mistake. Foggy, tired, headache from the fruit sugar. Took me about two hours to recover. Drank lots of water. Excellent dinner, broccoli pan fried with garlic and steamed asparagus. Had lots of protein at a late lunch. Post dinner, wicked cravings. Ate a palm-sized portion of turkey, then fresh coconut, about 6 walnuts. Read yesterday that GABA powder works for cravings. Took half tsp with water. Cravings went away. Will try this again. Resisted the temptation to weigh myself. A look in the mirror today (Thurs. morning) told me the belly pooch, maybe 3 inches extra fat as big around as a large fry pan, is still there. No visible change in my body. However, this morning my energy is more clear and I feel quite strong. Raining today, so difficult to get exercise. It's been less than a week, and the expectation to lose a bit of weight is unreasonable. After three weeks there should be some change. Hoping for 6 lbs in one month, and firming up my ability to resist damaging food and binging.
  23. Notes for Tuesday, March 3. Day 3 Small cheat--macchiato lungo, maybe half a tsp of steamed milk added to espresso. Other than that, smooth sailing. Roasted turkey, salad, soup. Hunger was less than on Day 2. Felt intense desire for cheese, bread. Sawed into the turkey when I felt hungry. Drank quite a bit of water, several glasses. After dinner, a big bowl of the bone broth soup and steamed broccoli, although my belly was full I experienced wicked cravings after an hour. I ate salted toasted coconut flakes and an apple and I felt sated. Two walks downtown yesterday with the steep hill on the way back. Weights, but nothing too crazy. Now, it's Wed. morning. Woke up way early, like quarter to five. Probably sack out later in the morning. But slept good and comfortably. Up maybe twice due to BPH issue.
  24. I'm not sure if I can put my log in a big long string by replying to each day, but that's what I'm going to try. Monday March 2. Really hungry a few hours of the day. Starving by dinner. Same breakfast, lunch was roasted turkey and salad. Dinner-- soup and big salad with beets, endive, salad mix, fennel. Didn't drag it out. Sat down and ate within an hour which is important for insulin control. Post dinner, even though still full, cravings for chocolate, snacks. Pretty strong cravings. Now, past it but no feeling of satisfaction; just something I sort of muscled through. Looking forward to breaking that habit, maybe another week or ten days should do it. Not much exercise today. Raining, cold. Cheating--there was a little aged blue cheese in the salad. Ate maybe half tsp of the shavings.