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Crazy dreams

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Today is day 12 for me and I feel amazing. Yesterday at church I had a friend comment on how she could see a big difference already. Really was a nice feeling to have others notice.

I have been having those "guilt" dreams every couple of days. Last night I had a dream that I had a box of chocolates from a fancy chocolate shop we used to visit on vacations to Leavenworth, wa. In the dream I was saving this box of chocolates till I finished my whole 30. Then I snuck three of them and eat them without thinking. I was in a panick thinking I would have to start my 30 days over. Then I realized it was impossible because there is no chocolate in the house.

I wonder if these are triggered by experiences from the day before. My husband, kids and I went to a restraunt by Lake Tahoe. My daughter had fish and chips, my son had cheese ravioli and my husband had some fancy Ahi tuna thing. I ordered the only salad I could have minus the cheese which left me with a wedge of iceberg lettuce and some cherry tomatoes with vinegar and olive oil for dressing. Yuck. I ended up cooking myself a homemade turkey burger with sautéed mushrooms and heirloom tomatoes on the side when we got home.

Anyway, the good news was, I was not tempted to grab a fry from my daughters plate or eat a piece of bread. Looking at it all just made me think of how I would feel after eating a meal like that; tired, bloated, sometimes heartburn and no energy. I can't believe I have been doing that to my body for so long and never making that connection.

Watching some ladies order diet cokes and not feeling any longing for one myself was a huge sign of letting go of my addition to artificial sweeteners and caffeine.

Now my only struggle is to not step on the scale ( I packed it away so I don't cave). I look forward to my 30th day not so to change what I eat but to see what I accomplished.

My husband is excited with my progress and can't wait till I am comfortable with my body.

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