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Today i prepare to embark on my 3rd whole30. The past 2 attempts we're in vain. More so to lose weight and to see how strict and how controlled I can be over what I ate.

Way to much exercise, to little food and to much obsessing with the scale.

To much OCD and anxiety went into my past 2 whole30's and i think its because i approached it all wrong. I did those whole30s to further slip into my borderline eating disorder. I say borderline because my therapist said it has the potential to progress into a full blow disorder if not properly treated right away and is still technically called binge eating.


It feels good to have that sort of control over something, anything! And for me the only thing I feel I can have control over as of now is food and it feels so so good! At least it feels good for a binge eater like me. 


Tomorrow I start with a different approach. Im going to process feelings, emotions, my surroundings, and identify my triggers. Im going to plan, prepare and cook all my food. Im not going to obsess. I'm not going to worry about all the food I can't or will never eat again. 


This is a journal for myself. I need this to process feelings and outcomes. Maybe this will help me realize and work out my problems and maybe even eventually heal my relationship with food.

And maybe it'll help someone else out there struggling with similar things.


Now a little about myself.

Im Kels.

A 26 year old Californian native. 

Married to an amazing man and we are fortunate enough to have blessed with our dear sweet son who is 3.

My relationship with food took a nose dive after the birth of my son and hasn't been the same since.

I struggle with this cycle on a daily basis. And I'm ashamed to admit how many Whole30s have failed due to this vicious cycle.





anyway, today is day 0 and i will succeed!!






IG: Kelsey.be.fit

email: [email protected]


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I'm kind of in the same boat but not with the control stuff though. A lot of the times I don't even last a day. I did better when I attempted my first one which was when I was 28 or so weeks prego. Haven't been able to do it since. I think if you realized you had control over food you can eat and focus on the foods to eat it might help but it's easier said then done and I'm not sure if you were implying that already but glad to see there's others woth the same issues. Good luck!

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I have been following the same cycle for a very long time and decided to try this program for exact same reason.


The community here really helped me to get throught some tough days. Also posting helped me to process and collect the thoughts at the end of the day.  It has been the longest time I could follow any dietary restrictions. I slipped on day 26 of my first Whole30 and decided to restart immediately, so minus this unfortunate slip up I've been  whole30 for 35 days.

Also surprisingly I found out that all the compliant food is very tasty and I trully enjoy eating it. Though some compliant food is too tasty: I have problem with portion control when I eat nuts.


Enjoy this adventure. You can do it.

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