I NEED to do this!

[Guest]

I tried Whole 30 a couple of times the end of last year and again at New Years after I finished reading It Starts WIth Food, (I highly recommend reading it) only making it through a week or so. I was very happy with the results just in that week. I have been working on trying to understand why I am struggling so much with my eating. (I had ate healthy and lost 60 pounds and stayed at a healthy weight for 5 years before a year ago) I have noticed a pattern in the past few months, as soon as I start to feel better, look better, and have a little confidence, I self Sabotage. I understand that I'm doing this  1. as a self punishment and not feeling worthy of feeling and looking better, and 2. out of fear.  The problem is is that my health is continuing to go down hill, most recently symptoms of gout flare up, which kept me off my feet for two days and still unable to get back to running, long walks, or working out in anyway that involves pressure on my foot. As well as my anxiety being so bad, that grinding my teeth at night has become much worse, breaking pieces off my tooth three times this past week. I have struggled with digestive issues for 4 years, continually getting worse even while I was eating healthy, I also have a lot of overall inflammation, nerve pain, balance issues and so forth. Doc thought I had MS, but that was cleared through a brain MRI. Anyhow, my point is that, my body is screaming at me, I might listen for a few days, then life's stressor's and my self sabotage gets in the way. I REALLY NEED to do this, and do it as compliantly as I can possibly do so with some of the food issues and financial issues I have. I could stand to lose 10 pounds, but I really don't want to focus on that, I just want to feel healthy. It's hard to do this alone, without support, but I know I have to and that's just the way it is. But it helps to come online, and know others are going through it as well. 

 

My plan is to start tomorrow! I already have the daily's, saved in my email so I can go through those each day.

[Carlaccini]

I too self sabotaged myself for years - so yes I know what this is about.

 

As soon as I was feeling that I lost weight I would tell myself - I've been good I deserve something for being so good. That is where the trouble seems to stem.  I have learned to change my perspective to I deserve to treat myself well.  Is this "food" going to make me more healthy or less healthy?  If it is a genuine No - then the answer is No.

 

I have now recognized that I cannot do moderation well unless I give myself "rules" - this was a big step for me to recognize after being pushed for years - "Everything in moderation".  Well moderation doesn't work for some and I am one of them.

 

All in all remember to take this process one meal at a time, one day at a time.  And if you go off plan - DO NOT beat yourself up.  Dust yourself off and start again.  Remember slow and steady will win THIS race.