Sahara64's log

[sahara64]

Hmm. I thought I started this yesterday but I can't find it - perhaps I didn't save it properly. Restarting.

 

Yesterday was Day 1

I learned a lot. I didn't eat enough breakfast and I struggled with hunger all day. I probably ate way more fruit than I should have. All that said, I was complaint. That is huge. I haven't had a day completely devoid of sugar in probably 30+ years.

 

Today, better start:

Day 2:

Breakfast:

Baby summer squash, mushrooms, chicken sausage, onions.

 

Apple and almond butter if I need a snack at work. I'd like to get away from having snacks, but since there is so much sugar here it's better to be prepared than to end up face first in the candy jar in the break room.

 

Lunch

Salmon, salad, homemade avocado dressing.

 

Dinner

Pork steaks Salad, probably more baby squash.

[sahara64]

Reading through folks food logs, I see some changes I'd like to make to mine. I also see I need to not write what I plan on eating, instead what I DID eat.

 

Snack: was actually a nectarine and almonds.

Meal 2: was actually a salad with chicken breast, large avocado, part of an apple, walnuts.

 

Feelings:

Realizing I'm not eating enough at each meal to make it to the next meal. I've been a "graze the day away" kinda gal and going to 3 meals a day is ...intimidating. I've been crushingly tired today - probably in large part to not having the sugar/caffeine of several cups of sugary coffee a day. Realizing I pretty much consumed sugar all day long...and now I suspect my body doesn't know what to do for fuel. Realizing I need to go back and re-read parts of the Whole 30 book. A trip to the grocery store is needed as well. I don't have enough vegetables. I have SALAD....but not vegetables. Feel sort of like I'm failing on the learning curve here....but at least I've been compliant for 1.5 days. That's a record for no sugar, so there's some success there.

[sahara64]

Week 1, day 3:

Meal 1:  sweet potato, chicken, mushroom, onion and bell pepper hash, small banana

Snack:  nectarine, cashews

Meal 2:  Sweet potato/zucchini hash, left over pork chops

Meal 3:  Brussels sprouds with onion and bacon, salmon patty, avocado with jicama.

 

Feelings:

Less tired, more emotional. Jittery, irritable - actually lost it at work on the phone with a dimwit. I NEVER do that. Ever. Several times today I realized "oh, yeah....now would be when I would go get another cup of sugary coffee" or "yeah, this would have sent me to the candy jar in the break room".

 

I remained compliant - but it was a pretty darn hard day. Truly realizing the grip sugar has on me. it's addiction, pure and simple. I knew that...but...i didn't know it like I do today.

 

Ready for it to turn around and start feeling good, having energy, and not beeing so darn moody.

[sahara64]

Struggling again this morning. Answering the phone at work incorrectly...and hello, I've been here 16 years. Can't spit out words, can't focus. Drinking black tea with coconut milk in an effort to get a tiny bit of clarity from the caffeine. It's a far, far cry from my sugared/creamered up coffee. Feeling some horror and shame upon recognizing just how addicted I've been to sugar. Facing it full on....seeing how I'm not functioning well without it? I'm pretty horror struck to be honest. I have used sugar as my drug. Unhappy? sugar. Mad? Sugar. lonely? Sugar. Annoyed at the way my coworker walks (she scuffs her damn heels. doesn't matter what shoes she's wearing...scuff scuff scuff. I want to SCREAM "pick up your damn feet!!!!") I ate sugar. That's how I coped.

 

Now no sugar? no cope.

 

God help me. and probably, god help my coworkers. sigh.

[sahara64]

Made it to day 5.

 

Week 1 day 4:

Meal 1: sweet potato/ground beef/broccoli hash. small banana.

Snack:  nectarine, cashews

Meal 2:  same as meal 1

Meal 3:  Pork chop, brussels spouts wth bacon, mushroom and onion, small yellow potatoe with ghee

Snack: two rings of pineapple, small banana, coconut milk

 

Feelings:

Last night I dreamed I ate a roll and candy at a party, then remembered I was on whole 30 and in my dream I was possibly suicidal over it.  Maybe that constitutes a nightmare actually.

 

There was a brief period yesterday when I didn't feel depressed, tired and/or angry. It lasted about an hour. I feel...hopeless. caught between feeling the suck of it, feeling horrified and ashamed at the level of addiction that has been revealed to me, and despondent over the loss of the foods that make me feel better.

[shortystylee]

Good job so far! It is a bit of a learning curve when you first start, but after the first week's worth of meals you'll get into a "meal prep/what do I eat?" rhythm.

 

For your mid-morning snack, have you been eating this each day? It's not a good idea to plan to snack. If you feel hungry mid-morning, try making your breakfast bigger, or adding more fat to your breakfast. The goal is to make each meal enough to last until the next. If you're actually hungry, try for a mini-meal of protein, veg, and fat, similar to your regular meals. If you've got a raging sugar dragon, eating the fruits as a snack is not helping to tame it.

[sahara64]

Thanks for your thoughts shortystylee

 

I'm coming from a "eat all the darn time" place, 4 small meals a day with a lot of grazing in betwwen (and way, way too much of it was on sugar). Eating breakfast has been a big struggle - I choke down as much as I can, but this is definitely a retraining thing. This first week I went from pre-day 1 of drinking 3 or 4 creamered up cups of coffee starting at 4:30 a.m. or so, until I finally had a banana or muffin (when I was still eating gluten) around 8 a.m. I start work at 7 a.m., to  now I'm cooking arond 5:30 or 6 am, and trying to choke it down before I go to work.

 

Before day 1, I rarely cooked. i ate on the run constantly and well, I had something in my mouth constantsly!

 

It's very much a process - and yep, I know, I'm still eating too much fruit. I get it. I'm still at the bottom of what is for me a very steep curve! By day 5, I'm starting to feel human again and now not having TWO snacks a day which was my norm pre whole30.

 

Thanks again for taking time to share your insight!

[sahara64]

Week 1, day 5

Food:

Meal 1:Ground beef/potato hash with broccoli/ carrot/snap pea stir fry veggies thrown in. Had a really hard time getting it down, and wasn't able to finish it all.

Snack:  Apple with almond butter

Meal 2:  Chicken, sweet potato and more stir fry veggies , small banana, jicama and guac

Meal 3:  chicken on bed of romaine, half an avocado  note to self, not enough food. I just did not feel like eating, so then I woke up at 11 p.m hungry. Tried to ignore it for an hour, finally got up and ate some cold chicken.

 

Feelings:

This is the first day I have felt like at least a shadow of myself. Not irritable, finally, thank god. Energy levels were still pretty low. No appetite, but made myelf eat breakfast any way - glad I did they brought in a huge batch of donuts from the best donut place in town for "natl donut day". If I had not made myself eat breakfast there mght have been a very real problem.. Mourning the loss of some habit foods that I strongly suspect should not ever come back into my diet post Whole 30...like french vanilla creamer. I don't think I can have "just one cup". FWNB for me. I know I won't be doing gluten - that leaves dairy. I'd like to try adding back eggs in moderation after whole 30 and see if it really is a culprit for my eczema.

 

A few comments from friends about my "fad" diet today - I stayed calm and either ignored it or remided them, AGAIN, I'm not in this to lose weight, i'm in it to gain control of my eczema...and though I didn't sign up for it initially apparently I'm in it to deal with my sugar addiction. I can't buy into the phrase "sugar dragon". I like dragons, LOL. and it doesn't seem....serious enough for how devastating it is to me. It's more like a demon on my back. As posted above adn talked to my "whole 30 possee" - Trying to be less into the fruit - especially not to eat it at the end of a meal "because I want something sweet".

 

Now I feel tired again and my stomach isn't rumbling anymore, time to try to go back to sleep. Thank god I don't have to get up in the morning!

[sahara64]

Week 1, day 7

 

So many changes in a week!

From:

Several cups of creamer-laden coffee followed by a couple diet cokes a day to unsweet iced tea.

Eating breakfast 3 or 4 hours after I got up, and then only a banana to eating within an hour of rising a template meal of a palm size protein, thumb size fat, and plate of veggies and sometimes a piece of fruit.

Several hits daily off the office candy jar (always filled with fun size candy bars) to not touching it a singlle time this week

Lunch of lots of romaine lettuce with a few bits of protein, blue cheese dressing to a template meal of protein/fat/veggies

Eating out/eating a bowl of cereal/drive thru dinners to a template meal again.

Nightly bowls or let's be honest, pints of Ben and Jerrys to a piece of fruit with a little coconut milk splashed on.

Gaggng down maybe 2 cups of water a day to drinking many cups of water a day.

 

Things I'm working on tweaking still:

Less fruit. I'd like to get to 1 fruit a day with a meal by the end of my whole 30.

Less routine. I'd like to start actually trying the recipes rather than just doing a big "hash" or stir fry meal 3 x a day.

 

Have had a big change in my bathroom habits and that's been a little disconcerting. Gone from being a very "regular" gal to not being regular at all and that's been less than pleasant, but I recognize it's the change in diet. I'm working on trusting that it will straighten out eventually.

 

Day 6 and today so far have been so. much. better. Better more consistent energy, better mood by a milestone! My clothes are feeling differet, looser. At 252 pounds on a 5' body that consisted on sugar 24/7 for 3 decades this is a good thing, but not my focus. The eczema has been the focus. There are now, 7 days into whole 30, patches of unaffected skin mixed with the eczema. That's the most improvement in the better part of a YEAR being on steroid ointment. That is a huge testament to the change that is happening through Whole 30!

[sahara64]

Week 2, day 1.

 

Think I've pretty much hit on unsweet ice tea to replace my coffee caffiene. Note to self:  Stop in the evening or you won' sleep, sigh.