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GraceBallard

Saturday nights are hard

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I'm on day 13, and mostly I've enjoyed my meals, the shift in habits, and examining my relationship to food and drink.  However, Saturday nights really get me down.  I don't want to go out because my desire for a Manhattan or nice glass of red is so intense.  As much as I enjoy going to the gym and listening to Harry Potter, I want Saturday nights to feel different than Monday nights, and usually for me that means a cocktail or a nice meal out with friends.  I wrote a blog post about the empty feelings that have come up for me: Why Eating Whole Foods Makes Me Sad.  This is illuminating for sure!  But on Saturday, I don't want to feel illuminated.  I want to relax and socialize.  Anyone feel me?

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1000%

I brought work home with me this weekend and the goal is to keep my brain busy so I don't start wanting wine. Earlier I showered and did my hair and I'm a makeup lover so I had the time I don't have weekday mornings to do my eyeshadow in a very over-the-top manner - all that to say, I'm sitting here alone on a Saturday night looking fabulous from the neck up (wearing leggings and a tank top) so I could go out but know I can't.

I'm just doing what I can to keep busy.

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I've found that if I actually go out (and drink soda water or whatever), I end up having a good time, but it's harder to push myself out of the house.  That's funny you said that, because I totally ended up getting dressed and made up last night, and THEN I felt inspired to leave the house.  Went to a friend's art opening and it was just fine.

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That's awesome! 

I'm taking the same approach I took when I quit smoking years ago. It was back when you could still smoke in bars in this city and I just didn't have the strength to resist. If I were to take my car somewhere, that's a totally different story but for now, laying low.

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Hi Grace and happy Day 15!

Your blog was beautifully written.  The journey you took us on of self awareness was elegant, honest and cathartic.  Thank you for sharing.

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Thanks for asking, Jager07.  I'm feeling better - a little more at ease.  I've been journaling and meditating daily, as I want to learn as much as I can about these cravings and my relationship to food and alcohol.  So I wouldn't say that yearning for treats has gone away, but I'm more relaxed with it.  How's it going for you?

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