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Stepford's Euphoria (WholeXXX)

Stepford WASP

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People are struggling.

I don't want to come across as selfish, but I must put myself first and focus on all that is positive about my decision to eat paleo. I don't want to obsess about what I ate or didn't eat or how I feel or don't feel or any lack of progress—that path leads only to self destruction. BTDT.

I do want to be supportive to those who are on the same journey, especially for those of us on the same timeline, but I haven't the experience to offer much wisdom, even if, intellectually, I know how it works. I'm not there yet. So I choose to focus on the good things I notice, however small, not the ways in which things are hard, which can loom large if I let them.

I agree 100% with lindyj (in the Jan 7 starters topic) that Whole30 is a process. If we are struggling, I think we're right on track. In ISWF, I believe Melissa wrote that her energy did not start to stabilize until sometime between weeks 2-3, which is precisely where we Jan 7 starters are.

To be honest, it makes me slightly uncomfortable when I read about people longing for Day 30. Then what? If it weren't for the daily messages in my in box, I am not sure I'd even know what day I was on in this journey because this is just how I eat now. Day 30 isn't the end for me; it's another beginning. If I treated the Whole30 like a plan that I "went on" and then "went off," it would be no different from any of the other eleventy billion diet's I've tried, even if the word diet (Latin diaeta) once meant a "prescribed way of life." Now diet stands for something people do until they lose weight and then they go on "maintenance," which often translates to our old way of eating. That's not for me. I view my Whole30 diet the same way diet was interpreted in the 15th century. It's a new way of life for me. A permanent one ... with allowances to be human. (No orthorexia here, thanks much!)

So where am I on Day 18? I have mood swings that range from euphoria to archbitchness, joyful power surges and then buckets of Eeyore-like ennui, have the best sleep ever and then a craptastic night of tossing and turning combined with hip pain, which is not helped by the fact that I am socializing a feral cat who recently discovered the bed after hiding under the bureau for the last couple weeks, and who now plays the drums on my calves. And lately I have been really really bored with food. Bored with cooking. Bored with making the effort.

I am not having more than fleeting cravings, so I'm not white-knuckling my way through the day, but I do get hungry anywhere from 3-6 hours after my last meal—in fact, I experience a hunger that surprises me and tells me my stomach and gut are working as designed; sometimes my innards sounds like an orchestra tuning up. But then my heart sinks as I realize nothing appeals to me, especially when I have to cook it. Greens, in particular, are unappealing and I occasionally force myself to eat them, even if it means stuffing handsfull into my mouth, right out of the Mixed Spring Greens bag.

But I refuse to feel sorry for myself. That attitude did not help me in the past, so the less time I dwell on the negative, the better I feel. I also refuse to set a timeline on fat release. Sure, I wish I were further along and my pants were already falling off me, but fat loss ain't linear. I didn't pack on the excess in a month, so I won't lose it in a month. In any case, fat loss is really just a pleasant side effect to this food plan. What interests me most is how much better I feel, and therein lies the bonus: The better I feel, the better I treat myself and my body, taking necessary down time and preparing healthy, delicious, pretty meals. I also know that when I put myself first, everyone and everything around me benefits, both at home and at work.

I'm not there yet, but I am absolutely on the right path. In fact, I am not sure what others' plans are after this Whole30, but I'm keeping on and might even try a 90-day autoimmune protocol. I see no reason to reintroduce dairy and I certainly have no interest in gluten.

I am sorry people are struggling, but it's worth the effort isn't it? I am worth the effort. I am worthy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Here it is, Day 30.

Overall, it hasn't been that hard, no struggles, no overt urges, no cheats. I feel very fortunate that I have a solid support system. The Viking has acclimated to this way of eating and announced this weekend that he has no intention of going back to his former food fetishes. I am happy that I can throw away all his evil bottles of Davinci's Splenda-infested syrup, that he won't be buying/drinking diet soda, and that our decision to omit dairy means more room in the fridge for beautiful meats and fresh and fermented veggies. He's even taking digestive enzymes now.

My biggest challenge on this Whole30 has been ameliorating laziness (= boredom). It would be so easy to slap a slab on the grill and serve it with steamed vegetables, but I have dusted off my former foodie self, and made investments. I bought an adult-sized food processor and a pressure cooker, which last night took a pork butt from freezer to table in less than 2 hours, delivering such succulent, tender meat it made us weep. We installed a hanging pot rack, which freed up valuable cabinet space. I stocked up on Rubbermaid's "Easy Find Lid" containers, as well as Tupperware Fridgesmart containers that prolong the life of veggies. I even reorganized my entire kitchen, including cabinet shelves. I had a field day at Penzey's, and homemade mayo makes my knees buckle—I could almost eat it off the spoon.

So eliminating gluten and legumes has been easy, but I admit I never envisioned going for long without dairy. I can't say I don't miss it; I loved my morning latte, but I am also really starting to enjoy the cleaner taste of black espresso. In fact, there are many foods I no longer have the desire to add moo juice to.


I don't feel wonderful all the time. I feel better on many accounts, and my sleep has improved, but it's clear I need more than 30 days to fix the damage from chronic, bad food choices. I still get occasional hip and knee pain, and most disappointing, I still have post-nasal drip, and I am still clearing my throat a lot. I don't need a medical degree to understand that continued food sensitivities are causing sinus inflammation. My gut is far from healed.

I will be continuing on, living a Whole30 life—except I'll be doing the immune protocol next. No eggs, nuts, seeds, and certainly no nightshades, which I suspect are one reason behind the hip/knee tenderness.

So, I will weigh in tomorrow and see if released any fat (I suspect yes), and then I just keep going.

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Thanks very much, Derval.

The storage reorg was SO necessary. My kitchen is huge (24 x 12 feet), but all activity takes place at two tiny counters on either side of a sink because of horrible horrible layout (not my design). I've limped along the last several years, but now Viking wants to help, and I am sure not going to discourage that!

Maybe when I have more energy I'll start tearing walls down. :)

It never both

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