Body image breakthrough after a lifetime of negativity.

[kaybee]

Today I went for a 4 mile run that turned into a 5 miler, since I was feeling so great. One of the things I like about running is that it gives me time to think. All my life I've had body image problems, I have always considered my body inadequate (although, ha! what do you know, I was actually quite skinny when I was young, despite feeling like a behemoth) and at times that was reinforced by some negativity from boyfriends, but that's a whole 'nother topic. Anyway, in recent years as I've gotten older and have gained weight and watched my body change, I became even more unhappy with it, DESPITE understanding fully that the media and the culture we live in is mostly to blame for many of us feeling so inadequate, that it's completely RIDICULOUS for us to hold ourselves up to super-model standards, and that that doesn't represent a healthy body anyway. Plus, my eating habits were certainly NOT optimal. I could go a week without ever having a veggie. I've never even been particularly overweight, but I could certainly stand to lose a few pounds, like 15 or so. Lately I've been pondering this question: what will I do if I get to 30 days and haven't lost any weight (I'm on day 21), or haven't lost as much as I'd hoped? Initially, I was panicked about this. Today while running, though, I had a different thought, and it was this: I'm giving my body everything it needs to run optimally, and if I get to 30 days and realize that I'm the same size, well then, this is the size I was meant to be. You see, the reason I was so down on my body before was that I knew I wasn't feeding it properly or taking care of it as I should be. I wasn't giving my body every opportunity to be it's best. Now I am, and if I continue to eat like this and feel spectacular, that alone will be a phenomenal gift and I'll know this is how it was meant to be. I can find peace in that. Does this make any sense? Apologies for the rambling, I wasn't really sure how to convey this. I feel like a great burden has been lifted from me by this realization...

[llee]

Thanks for sharing that. I too have gone through most of my life so far with a negative body image of myself. I love your post so much that I've saved it on my bookmarks to refer to it when I feel I'm not progressing with my Whole9/30 lifestyle, to remind myself that what's most important is how I'm caring for my body every day.

[SarrizleP]

What an awesome realization. I'm hoping I can get there eventually! Although, I am quite overweight, so I'm definitely working on that, for health reasons. But once my body is healthy and is performing at the optimal level I hope I can be happy with myself.

I also was in pretty good shape when I was younger, but because I wasn't 125 pounds, size 6, etc. I thought I was obese, and I think that caused me to just not care enough about myself to keep myself healthy. Ohhhhh if only I knew then.