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Blueautumn last won the day on June 2

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About Blueautumn

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  1. Blueautumn

    Take Advantage

    I just decided that I would be starting over but im not really counting it as starting over. My body has so much work to do and i still have some general habits and mindsets i fall into when i eat certain foods that would ultimately lead me to fail if i tried to do any food freedom after only 30 days. I made it through 25 but have always known no matter what I would probably need a W60 -W90 to even start to feel like really confident in my ability to eat day to day. So that fact that ill be doing another 30 days isnt that big an issue - i just "started over" so i could keep track of the days easier in my log . Maybe dont think about it now and near the 30 days take stock on how you feel and how you feel you could benefit from that extra 15 days. It might be worth it to just keep seeing the NSVs or if you dont quite feel as great as you think you might if you kept going. Then maybe it wont feel like such a stress/burden to do the w45. Ill support you either decision you make!
  2. Blueautumn

    Contessa's June Realignment

    Thinking very hard about my food freedom i was able to successfully convince myself that I deserved nachos so ill be going on another 30 days! Let me know if you like the cookbook! I found that i need to have a variety of stuff ready to go in case something just isnt sitting with me well which can happen especially during my flares and i just wont eat anything for days at a time...which is kinda how i got to nachos! SO i have to prepare against that this next month. Ive had that canned salmon recipe bookmarked for like 5 weeks lol. I even have canned salmon! and i havent gotten a chance to make it yet. Maybe ill do that instead of the chowder. Youve been doing so well! keep it up - good call on the milkshake, though i mean maybe ill try to get one before i start again on sunday....ill think of you <3 Happy thoughts!
  3. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    So i tried to give a few updates this week but my password wasnt working and I kept locking myself out. To sum it up, on Day 25 i ate nachos. Going so many days without eating and then Im pmsing, I was like you know what, 25 days is basically 30 days and I got nachos. Literally right at the end and I talked myself right into those nachos. How strange and annoying but I told myself i was going to complete a whole30 and complete it I shall (so ill be starting again naturally) Fun fact, im a self saboteur. Dont be like me people. I have an innate dread of success that basically causes me to destroy things especially near the end. I dont think the middle of things is all that hard. Its def the beginning and about the time you see the light at the end of the tunnel. But thats okay. I learned some things and honestly made it significantly longer than i thought I would for a first time around. Day 1 again will be sunday June 21. The goal of course is to make it the full 30 days. Id at least like to keep it going long enough for tiger blood to come give me a big hug. And i want to be very clear that i thought long and hard about those nachos - as some of you could imagine. I am fully aware that it cant be a 30 days done its all over go right back to how i was. So I imagine the next few months will be mostly on whole 30 and tryin to figure out an eating habit that doesnt lead me right back down the paths of no return. I have also read a book, thinner, stronger, leaner (or some combination of those words) and I really like his general approach to eating and exercise. Ill be actually starting cardio 3x a week starting this first week since i never worked any in during my first 25 days. The second week ill be incorporating strength training and those will be the new healthy habits ill be working on for the next 30 days. Oh yeah i went ahead and weighed myself after the nachos - 300 pounds. Down 16 which aint that bad considering my new found love of potatoes for a while there lol. My blood pressure is looking good, hopefully in a few months i can get off at least one of them. I know i need to do everything within my power to get my blood sugar under control for good so yet another reason i need to stick it through 30 days. My body needs time to heal and to balance itself out without relying completely on sugar. Now the very astute ones will notice that there are a few days between my day 25 and my planned day 1. Yes i have been eating stuff that is not whole 30 compliant during this time. I have immediately noticed that the desire to binge, well the desire to feel full ( by eating lots of nonfilling processed things), came back quickly and thats somethin that needs to be beaten down with a stick. I was like you know what, lets get some cheesy bacon wedges in before i start over. Guess what? about 99% those delicious cheesy goodness that i raved about for posts and posts cause my fire volcano indigestion, so thats FUN! Guess its time to retire those completely. On a positive note, im hoping that keeps craving them under better control lol. Hopefully everyone is ready for another round of boring, long posts of rambling thoughts about my issues with food.
  4. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    Day 22 sun june 14 Some peas and a banana That's it all day. I slept a lot. I need to come up with some sort of eating plan when this happens. I'm gonna schedule an appt with my dr and get some ideas Day 23 June 15th So far I've eaten some roasted seaweed which is yummy. Making a casserole right now. Fingers crossed that I feel like eating it
  5. Blueautumn

    Patrick's Whole30 Log

    I think the chips are fine if you make them yourself. Just avoid the commercial ones as they tend to not be just one portion size and lots of ppl go all binge-y with it! You are doing great - ive eaten more potatoes in the last month than i probably have in ages (though....maybe not if i count the bacon cheesy cheesy cheesy potato wedges i loved to order all the time) I just learned almond butter and i are not friends - im glad youre finding things that work for you.
  6. Blueautumn

    Contessa's June Realignment

    If it works it works!
  7. Blueautumn

    Like an Onion

    My biggest issue with that is alot of the time i realize the food isnt worth it and yet i feel the need to finish it - like since ive already started it might as well not let it go to waste so i feel bad and arent even happy with the food! what a waste So glad things are comin together and you are getting everything settled. It can be so freeing to get past those big stress obstacles...granted not to say things are easy now
  8. Blueautumn

    Need the Reset Button

    HAHAHAHA thats how i felt about the beef stew i made but my hubby loved it - gross. like who am i even married to. Id have to go back through my log to see when exactly but i now fall asleep so quickly im in love. I used to toss and turn for hours to even start sleeping now its like 15 min max which is such an improvement and i imagine will only get better. You have such a variety going on! keep it up <3 happy thoughts
  9. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    Saturday June 13th - Day 21 So im at work right now and its actually 0030 on 6/14 but as yall have noticed i like to grab this night and the meal in the morning as the previous day due to the night shift schedule. M1 - about 2 inches of a sausage link and three bites of a baked potato. I was really hoping i would sleep off whatever had been making me feel so bad friday but it wasnt really until today when i woke up still not hungry that i realized i was in a flare and it wasnt just some stomach thing. And of course my realization that i probably needed some sort of blended soup for meals didnt hit me till i was trying to eat that baked potato. All the meals i brought for food on friday i still have at work since i didnt eat them. Unfortunately they still dont sound so hot. So i got some cashews and a banana from the cafeteria. Unlike last night though i still cant get these cashews down but the banana went down with little issue. Thats interesting. Also random side note here - had tried that almond butter thursday night. Friday morning my hubby asked how the almond butter was and just trying to talk about it suddenly made me nauseous for no reason. Well its been like that ever since. If i think to long about the almond butter i want to vomit. Even typing this ugh. And i enjoyed it alright. i didnt have problems eating it or anythin but ugh omg thinking about it is like thinking about that alcohol that almost killed you 10 or 20 years ago when you got super wasted and hung over (you all know exactly what im talking about - fyi if i smell hypnotic i try to vomit and thats from when i was 16 ROFL) About a year ago i had eaten some raw almonds because they are supposed to be better for you than roasted almonds or whatever and they killed me. Like i was on the bathroom floor in so much pain like someone was trying to burst up from the entire area between my neck and my waist. It was awful. So no more raw almonds for me. I dont recall having issues before but i did read that sometimes the skin on the almond can cause problems. Either way because of this super nauseous reaction to even thinking about the almond butter im actually thinking it doesnt sit well. I cant think of any reason for such a strong reaction to it especially since i didnt have the reaction when i was eating it thursday night. Coincidence that i feel bad and had the almond butter - i mean probably to an extent. Will i be eating almond butter again? NO NO NO NO im just gonna avoid almonds as a whole. I do use the almond milk for some cooking and i havent noticed anything there but i think its a good idea to just not eat them. I will still be using it for the chicken casserole but it gets spread out and diluted so much i woulnd't know if its enough to cause problems. Had to step away from the post for a minute cause of all the it that shall not be named talk. But still not hungry. its been a while now since ive had a complete meal but my days off start after this shift so im gonna figure something out. Maybe ill just hibernate till wednesday LOL sure does make whole30 much easier when eating is just off the table. I didnt even excited this mornin when i smelled the bacon cookin /sadface. I still miss cheese though Id survive if i could never have it again, but it would be a bummer. My blood sugar is now 115 which is over 100 points lower than it was when i started. Normal is below 100 so im inching my way there. Honestly im currently debating if i want to bother with a reintroduction right now or if on day 31 or 32 im just gonna use a meal to eat some nachos - which would be corn, beans, and dairy. then just start another 30 days to keep my sugar going down. I figure ill either find out that nachos are a problem for me or that they are not i can go happily into the next 30 days knowing that. Then probably every five to ten days actually do a specific food group day to reintroduce. I think because my health was becomin such an issue i have an advantage in that i was really close to rock bottom around the board for me. The mental shifts that have been happening are making me realize i have no other option but to get my eating under control. It basically killed my sugar dragon which is very suprrising. the dragon has always been a problem for me in the past. I craved sweets and any time i broke a diet it was for sugar. Thats not happening this time. I guess even it was sick of what was going - poor dragon. Not just that but all of that eating had put in a perpetual cycle where i didnt feel well, didnt think well, and wasnt productive in the ways i want to be productive. I want to accomplish alot still, i want to be living my best life, i still have dreams and goals i want to reach - none of which can happen if im not fueling my body in any kind of deliberate way. Ive stopped the mindless snacking basically cold turkey - i was only snacking out of boredom anyway and im not hungry near as often since im actually eating food that fills me up instead of just leaving me hungry an hour or two later. It needs to be a lifestyle change - my relationship with food. I dont plan on eating whole 30 forever (never have) i dont plan on going paleo or doing anythin super fancy unless it turns out that food is indeed a big problem with me then of course ill have to adapt lol. Its important that i know whether eating something will bring the dragon back to life or if there is a food that makes me just binge like a crazy monster but i wouldn't know that if i avoid them all all the time - since that would be setting me up for failure. for example i know if i want icecream we should only buy one pint. If we buy more than that i suddenly want icecream all the time and i will eat it all the time. So it can only come into the house in small amounts. Thatsa good thing to know! its also why i dont buy quarts of icecream. Totally circling back to nachos here It makes me wonder that since ive been thinking about nachos the entire time if its a bad thing to get some at the end of the whole 30. Will it throw me off the wagon? Will i say screw it all and just start eating everything in sight? Is it okay since ive had time to think about the repercussions of eating nachos and its an impulse thoughtless eating decision? HMMMM cheese beans and corn are all things that i would like to be rotated through my diet anyway. i love corn. beans are great for chili and as is. cheese is good around the board. Would i be happy just cooking at home and avoiding all that delivered junk and high sugar added products? I think i would be if it means im not gonna end up in the hospital with kidney failure before im 40. I started the whole30 to reset how i eat. My habits were atrocious to say the least and im super freaking happy that ive actually taken the time to stop and think about my feelings around the food and i recommend everyone do it - whether publically or in private of course so that your mind is actively engaged in the process of why. Its ultimately easy to follow a set of instructions without ever giving any thought to anything past that. Im not saying whole 30 is easy of course but i think one gets a lot more out of the process if you know WHY its not easy for you. (did that make sense? lol) Okay sorry about all the ramblings lol
  10. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    So i didnt end up making that casserole yet so my last meal on day 19 was actually some eggs and bacon - fun times Day 20 June 12 Woke up feelin super super off. I hurt, i was super tired and didnt wanna get out of bed. It was like it was last month just hit by a truck. Im thinking I have a flare going on and its such a bummer because i was feelin so good. Then I thought about how silly it was that i thought 20 days of eating better would undo a decade of damage. tsk tsk tsk. LOL but anywho still felt like crapperjacks. I didnt eat anything when i woke up and started to feel nauseated at like 5pm (i woke up at 230pm for my double) so i was like okay, gonna eat some of my tuna that i brought. Couldn't even keep it in my mouth, chewing it was making my stomach rebel hard and which brings up a dilemma. this is not an uncommon thing to happen during a flare. part of it is because of the gastroporesis things move out of stomach so slowly it doesnt want anything else in it. I think this is also what normally causes my fire indigestion every so often where im sure i have a small volcano in my stomach that also makes me super nauseous feeling and doesnt go away with anything. Positive note - i havent had any fire vomit indigestion since ive started whole30 which is freaking amazing because that sh*t sucks. So anyways - my normal "solution" to this is get a giant cup of ice and fill it with sunkist. The super cold carbonation makes my stomach feel better and i just suck on this sugar concoction for a few days so i dont die since eating is just off the table. If i go back in my log i know this has happened before in the first week but i thought it was a result of suddenly getting super hungry and becoming super nauseous from it - and that may have been a big part of it as to why it was hitting me so hard but im having the same thing now just with the nausea on a much smaller scale - it only hits when i start to chew its not just making me feel super bad that entire time so i think that was a combo of flaring and learning about being hungry. The solution at that time was that my coworker made me some potatoe soup that had been blended down so i didnt have to chew anything - and i ate that soup for every meal for three days. I was not prepared for it happen again and that is exactly what is happening now. The act of chewing makes me want to puke soooo bad so i need to dirnk my calories. This means ideally i would make more soup and use that for the next two days to keep getting something in. This is not possible to do when uve just started a 17hour shift by the way. So i improvised since i cant afford to be crashing from a 0 calorie intake at the hospital. Not to mention back spasms had started. Friday morning right before bed my back hurt so bad (this should have been a clue i was in for a bad day lol) and they continued through my shift. DAy 20 All meals - In the cafeteria i found some cashews which i grabbed in case the crunch from the crunchy would be better than the soft texture of meat and veggies during the chewing. And they had 100 percent grape juice so i got that. Now for yall reading this - you arent supposed to drink juice like juice. The sugar content def. rivals a sunkist even if there is no added sugar lol. But either way i sipped on that juice for the whole shift because it turns out i didnt even really want it. Didnt even end up finishing the juice but i did get like half of it down. I tried the tuna a few more times i think over the entire shift i got down a spoonful of tiny bites. I was able to get down the bag of cashews during a feel good moment at like 3 in the morning as long as i took relatively small bites. Unfort after i ate the handful i swear they kept floating back up my throat and back down with the water i had been drinking - sooooooo thats cool. Now the annoying part is im not actually hungry at all but we all know thats a lie - im 300 pounds and working - i shouldnt be goin this long without eating lol. Made it back home still not hungry but my hubby made bacon and eggs. I got a few spoons of egg down but the bacon was much easier because i could take small crunchy bites. so i ate a few pieces of bacon and then went to bed.
  11. Blueautumn

    Ready for R1!! Start 5/24

    hi everyone! so sorry i dont get notifications over here been keeping my log updated in that area! Day 19 is almost to an end. How is everyone doing
  12. Blueautumn

    Round 4 - FIGHT!

    So awesome for all of it! Ive been trying to figure out what i want to do after the thirty days and I think there is a very high chance i continue it out to at least 60 days. Though i really want cheese back in my life. Like cheese will have to be the first intro at some point no matter what but i dont want to fall right back into eating all these things all day every day so Ive been trying to come up with a long term plan after the reintros and everything. Plus my dr hasnt seen the results yet but i imagine after the 30 days shes gonna be super pushy about me sticking with for a while LOL my sugar numbers are gonna excite her so much. I wish i could have you just come cook for me <3 your food always sounds so yummy with such a veggie variety! I still just grab one and im like broccoli there something veggie lol.
  13. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    I think its making a positive change for like health reasons but not in the long run for our relationship with food. In other words i think it would be very easy to fall back into the exact same old habits with the old food if given the choice because we didnt actually change the habit. I try to do no snacking any more in front of the tv at all because the tv is my binge and sit place for hours and hours. I actually try not to snack at all if its not at work because i know sitting at home and grazing is a problem for me. But as i just mentioned i ate fish and potatoes all day long and it didnt hit me near the same way as eating that casserole all day. I greatly enjoyed the casserole and looked forward to the casserole and didnt plan to make anything to eat instead but the casserole which is probably a sign i need to limit how i eat foods. When i eat something and realize its good in no way should be translating to - EAT ALL THE GOOD FOOD NOW (because thats how i got in trouble in the first place) That was not the feeling with the fish and potatoes. That was just, what is already cooked. Oh this fish. Okay lets just eat that cause i dont feel like making anything else and its good for me. Y...a...y....blah healthy food. Though it was good when i first ate it. Like i didnt hate the fish, it was seasoned and everything and it was fine but it def didnt hit the same trigger for me. And im making that casserole again MUAHAHAHAH because i love it. But at home ive already told the hubby that it cant be my every meal all day long.
  14. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    June 10 day 18 So i freakin ate tilapia and roasted red potatoes for like every meal. No joke. Im so sick of red potoates now LOL But i had pulled out fish to thaw and didnt realize there were four fillets so we made it all at once and it was just easier to pull them out and heat them up all day and take it to work and now im just sick of tilapia and roasted potatoes This was different than the casserole because i enjoyed eating that and just actively planned to eat it for every meal (which i think is actually an unhealthy tendency so i told myself i wouldnt eat the same thing twice in a day) . I whole heartedly just dont think it counts for the fish because it was def just a this is much more convenient than cooking so its either this or i just order out and finally get that freaking burger ive been dreaming about. But still id much rather try to stick with the at least not eating the same meal twice in a row if i can help it because i get food fatigue with some things sooooooo fast and it makes me cranky. plus im sure the body really enjoys some variation - gotta spice up those different macros and micronutrients! I also had a very intense dream about someone stealing my frito pie out of the break room fridge and me trying to track down the culprit. I havent had a good frito pie in ages. I did find the culprit but she had already eaten it all - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, couldnt even get it in my dreams. Grocery shopped this morning and got the ingredients for *drum roll* another chicken pot pie casserole! muahahaha. but im gonna spread it out this time - i swear. Also found the ingredients for a salmon chowder that sounds yummy and a whole chicken and gravy recipe. Ill link those as i make them and let you know how it goes. Found some compliant sausage so probably going to do that with eggs for the next few mornings - so that takes care of that meal *high fives myself* and well my pot pie casserole which can be a meal for the next few days as well so just gotta get one more meal! Also bought some fresh ground almond butter. I dont think ive ever had it but since im having such a hard time with dressings that i like i wanted something different to have with my celery sticks for work. Got them in the break room fridge right now. June 11 day 19 (just so i dont forget) M1 eggs bacon and like three pieces of roasted red potato left over from all the potatoes from the day before and then i was very very sure i need to avoid them for a bit lol M2 tuna, peas, celery and almond butter (is what i brought for work tonight) M3 - this will probably be a piece of the casserole i plan on makin gas soon as i get home from work and then its Friday so i have to be up in a few hours to go right back to work for my long shift so ill be packing some extra. Hmm need to plan now if im okay with Friday just being casserole day all day due to being at work for 17 hrs and ensuring that im not tempted by other stuff. Ill check the fridge and see what kind of variety i can bring. Tuna is an easy go to. Maybe ill hard boil some eggs as well.
  15. Blueautumn

    Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log

    Day 17 june 9 M1 eggs bacon and fresh made hashbrowns M2 tuna with celery red onion and dill radish M3 four hamburger patties with lettuce Bed early Not a very eventful day except I did spent some time daydreaming about different meals. My thoughts are still very food centric and food centric and food centric on a positive note thiugh I am getting some time to reflect on my eating habits as a whole. Besides the fact that I very much use food as a filler in my activities I tend to over indulge over and over until I no longer enjoy what I'm indulging in in the first place. Then I switch to something else until I get sick of that and switch to something else till I end up with whatever was the first in line. now I am torn as to whether or not my eating of that chicken casserole falls into that category and while I say its convenience and I very much think that's a big part of the case lol I've committed to eating at least 2 different meals a day day 18 m1 so far is tuna and peas going tthrough my pantry and freezer to figure out what I can cook that will have leftovers since I did no big cooking yesterday and for the record all these dishes are driving my hubby and I nuts lmao one thing about fast food is that dishes are basically null n void lol