Trying to trust in the process and myself

[jodea]

I did my first Whole 30 in January this year. I lost 9 lbs and felt fantastic. My skin looked great, I bounded around... Happy days! I reintroduced carefully and mainly stuck to W30 style eating and maintained my weight loss and general feeling of fabulousness. Another W30 in April sealed the deal and I went off on holiday to Greece in early May feeling great.

That's where it started to unravel. This summer has been one event after another. In Greece I indulged a little but didn't go crazy after an unfortunate breadstick incident which left me in pain for days! But then we went to a wedding in Italy for a week in late May and the dam broke - I ate a lot. Feeling bloated and sluggish on returning home I tried to get back on track but the summer has been made up of lots of weekdays trying to stick to W30 and weekends and events where I stray off the path, sometimes quite spectacularly. The result? I've put back on those 9 lbs and some 😔

This has made me distrust the process at times. Being prone to bingeing I wonder if this type of eating will ever work for me. Despite loving how it makes me feel, will part of me always feel 'deprived' and like I'm on a diet and if I do have a treat I have to go crazy and eat the whole cake/tub/pack? Intuitive eating worked for a few years for me in the past and I had started looking back into that, but I slowly gained weight on it, which took me back to calorie counting, then I discovered Paleo and ended up here.

Quite frankly, I'm tired! Will this journey ever be over? I've committed back to the W30 guidelines and plan to do a full W30 after my birthday in October. I just don't want to get stuck in a bad cycle of yo-yoing though.

*sigh*

[melbournegirl]

I've given myself a couple of years, or a lifetime if need be to break the cycle of dieting and bingeing. I no longer want to be a person always watching my weight and what I eat. I want to learn to eat and enjoy real food with only occasional offroading, and become one of those people that doesn't have to monitor what they eat. I also want to beat my family history of cancer, diabetes, depression, heart disease etc. I lost 7 lb on my first whole30 and then gained a good bit on my whole100 but broke my sugar cravings. Another couple of whole30 s and weight up and down all over the place as my body and appetite and hormones adjust... I refuse to weigh myself now, I no longer want to be defined by a number. A year later and things are starting to settle and I think my body is finally ready to start shedding some fat and I believe I will eventually get to my post diet weight without being on a diet

[jodea]

It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling. I know it will be a long process and I need to come to terms with that and stop searching for a quick fix. Thank you for sharing your story - I relate totally and I know I was at my happiest with myself those two years I stayed off the scale.