PamH Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 A few day ago, somebody on this Forum wrote that they were scared of the increased energy. A light bulb went offâ€¦ YES! I have grown so accustomed over the years to being that somewhat depressed and emotionally drained woman who did what she could to keep raising her kids and being there whenever her busy husband needed her. Lived for everyone else and set aside my passions. Even a conversation with my husband over our bucket lists made me feel selfish. What the hell? So, I start feeling awesome when I cut out sugars/grains and then I falter. I truly think the energy and the clarity scares me. I start questioning how things are being conducted in my family and the role I play in keeping me trapped by guilt in the mommy/wife role; that somehow doing things for myself is wrong and means I'm a bad parent/spouse. So, I'm scared that I will realize I don't want to be married anymore. That I am going to look around and go "why am I here?" and take the step to be truly happy. What a terrifying thought to be on my own after 27 years. The alternative is to fix my marriage and grow together, but that also takes a lot of work and involves tough conversations and redressing old wounds. Neither is guaranteed. Aha moment. Still, I love feeling strong and empowered and healthy. I need to take the risk of losing a marriage to gain health and happiness. Sounds very psychobabbly but it fits. Staying blue and unfulfilled for the second half of my life probably means I won't reach 100 years like I want! I post this in the "Troubleshooting" section because I wonder who feels the same and how do they bust through that wall? Might be the wrong place to post, so Moderators feel free to move it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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