Brewer5 Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 It's been almost exactly 4 weeks since I finished my first Whole 30. In that time, I have roamed and wandered, I have explored a "bucket list" of foods that I {apparently} wanted the freedom to explore again. I have rebelled against the rules and tried to create rules of my own. It's scary out there in the real world. It's hard. So I am back for another Whole 30 -- this time, having learned a lot about myself from my first time around and ALSO having learned a lot about myself from my time "off-roading". That has not been time wasted, and today I do not feel guilt or regret. Today is a new day, and I am back with renewed strength and determination because of that experience. I know that my friend Karen will be here to cheer me on, and I am so thankful for her encouragement and inspiration. Thanks to anyone else who joins me in my journey, as well. It may be boring for most, but if there is even one person out there who can relate or is helped by my ramblings, then my time here is most certainly well spent. Today has been one year since I quit smoking for good. I am still learning much about addiction and about my brain. This past year has been a journey, for sure, and these food issues are relatively new to me. I will continue to study the body, the brain, learn about our neurotransmitters and the effects that certain foods have on us mentally and emotionally. The main thing I learned from my last Whole 30 is that this one needs to be without nuts, seeds, or butters of these. They are food without brakes for me (which I have known for quite awhile), yet I somehow allowed my homemade sunflower butter to creep in on my last Whole 30. In my mind, I justified it because I was staying compliant in every other way. I owe it to myself this time around to see how good I can feel without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmlynne Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Found you! We will be walking this road together! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmlynne Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I forgot to say, "Congratulations!" and "Happy Anniversary!" You did something for yourself that is so extremely difficult - and I just know that your body is thanking you!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 Day 1 M1: scrambled eggs (4) w/ kale, shallots, ghee, coffee M2: can of Polar tuna, whole avocado, 1/2 banana, coffee M3: grass-fed beef, italian pork, zucchini, bell peppers, onion w/ TJ's marinara, sweet potato w/ ghee Had a phone call in the middle of M2 and had to go help a neighbor with a flat tire. Obviously missed my veggies here. Was lucky I got to finish eating at all. I am going to continue loading the majority of my carbs in at night and post-workout ("Carb Backloading" style). Although my nutritional choices have not been the healthiest these past 4 weeks, I have interestingly leaned out quite a bit, eating this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 Yesterday morning, when I decided to start this new Whole 30, I was in the midst of a peanut M&M hangover -- or so I thought. I felt pretty rough, had a headache off and on yesterday. By evening, I was walking around here telling everyone "I really don't feel good, come on, let's get to bed!" which is just not normal for me. I usually feel pretty good. I have to feel pretty rough to even talk about it. So today, I woke up and felt fine... went through my usual gym morning routine and headed off to the gym. I felt normal and wasn't even thinking about not feeling good yesterday, at all. Did my five minutes warm-up on the elliptical, as usual. Today was leg day and I really look forward to leg day. It is challenging. I feel strong and powerful and a big sense of accomplishment when I leave the gym on leg day. And I feel it later -- which I love. So I get started alternating my first two things -- (trap bar squats & leg press) -- and I get an instant, all of a sudden, splitting headache in my left temple area. This has never happened to me before. I have felt dizzy a couple of times... a couple of times I felt like I was going to puke... THIS was completely new, and probably started to freak me out a bit. So I drank a lot of water, I wandered around and thought about it, I debated whether I should push through this or not. I finished all four sets, I moved on and did my lunges, I moved on and did my leg curls -- and by then, I was really feeling like crap! Not normal for me, at all. I felt like maybe I needed to go to the bathroom, maybe I was going to pass out, I started to feel like I was in a panic attack, and I decided to just come home. I have never had to leave in the middle of a workout. I don't feel like this is a "bonk" -- I have been consistently in the gym, 3x per week, through all sorts of eating and through my entire Whole 30 last time. Never felt like this. Once I got home, all I could do was lay down instantly. Got up and ate 1/2 banana. Laid back down. Finally took 1/4 of my {very rarely used} Valium, because I still just felt... panicky. That helped, I finished the banana, and now I feel pretty normal. Headache is gone. So weird! Really hoping this is a freak occurrence... maybe I am fighting something off, maybe I just need to get a lot of rest this weekend. I go back to the gym on Monday and hope to be able to finish my leg day stuff + my regularly scheduled stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 Day 2 M1: scrambled eggs (2) w/ ghee, coffee M2: banana M3: canned chicken breast, orange bell pepper, onion, ghee, homemade taco seasoning, tomato, Wholly guacamole cup, carrot sticks M4: scrambled eggs (4), kale, onion, ghee, 1/2 banana, apple I still just feel awful. Kids say I have a fever. Have been on the couch most of the day. I got up to feed them and myself, and that's all I have had the energy for. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmlynne Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I am so sorry you aren't feeling well. Prayers that you are feeling better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 Feeling MUCH better today. I slept (off and on) for about 11 hours last night. I don't know when the last time was I slept that long. Must have needed it! I say off and on because I had one child who ended up in bed with me because the other was snoring (they have to share a room... one reason we want to find a different house soon). I then had snoring child waking me up in the night to have After Bite put on a particularly itchy mosquito bite. Not long after that, snoring itching child was in my room saying he felt like he was going to puke. And he did. Luckily, by that point, my husband was home from work, and HE got up for the puking. I was definitely completely out of it and needing my sleep. Definitely feverish. Whatever it was -- it seems to be gone, and I am so glad! Because I am such an honest person, I want to add a disclaimer to today's food log. My husband wanted to order Mexican food tonight, and I decided to go ahead and order something. {I could insert a list of all the other things I got done today besides cooking supper, but I don't feel the need to justify my decision at this point}. I got the chicken fajitas and all I ate was the meat & veggies. The chips, salsa, beans, rice, corn tortillas, sour cream, lettuce, pico, and guacamole that came with it -- all of it either went in someone else's mouth or ended up in the trash can. Just in case there are new folks out there reading my log (which I doubt), I just want to say that I did not go out to eat -- not once -- during my initial Whole 30. The odds of just being able to find something 100% compliant are slim. I don't advise it. This time around, well, things are different for me. I may have consumed something in the seasoning or oils that wasn't ideal, but I have chosen not to get obsessive about this. I have to have balance. No kidding, a week ago (or less?) I was in a different frame of mind and honestly just didn't care -- it ALL went down the hatch. So tonight, I am celebrating the fact that I was able to just eat my chicken & veggies and be happy and satisfied... not beating myself up because I didn't opt for a can of tuna and an avocado. Day 3 M1: one-skillet meal: grass-fed ground beef, ghee, onion, green bell pepper, sweet potato, garlic salt & cinnamon, coffee (not in the skillet) M2: SAME ^ M3: fajita chicken breast, tomatoes, green bell pepper, onion, mushrooms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 Day 4 M1: scrambled eggs (4) in ghee w/ green onions & kale, coffee M2: hamburger patties (2), tomato, lettuce, pickle, grilled onions, apple, coffee M3: whole avocado, chicken breast, diced onion, bell peppers, ghee, homemade taco seasoning, 1/2 banana, small sweet potato Disclaimer from last night can also apply to today's lunch. Five Guys while we were out stocking up on groceries at Costco & Trader Joe's. If they do something not compliant to their burgers, someone please don't tell me. I am feeling great & tons of energy today to do all this shopping. Like a fog is lifting again. The plain black coffee from Starbucks made me a little shaky-feeling, and I realized I didn't even "need" it, so about 1/2 of a tall coffee went in the trash. That is a good sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 Day 5 M1: scrambled eggs (3) w/ ghee, coffee M2: banana, chicken breast, coffee M3: baked salmon, broccoli, ghee, whole avocado M4: (2) small hamburger patties grilled to a crisp (lol), zoodle salad recipe, small sweet potato Back in the gym today and feeling GREAT. I was a little nervous because I felt SO SO bad last time I was there! It must have been a virus of some kind my body was fighting off. Used my spiralizer to make zoodles for the first time ever tonight. I bought that thing from Amazon back in April... 2013! Only my oldest son liked the improvised recipe I found in a hurry... it was a last-minute decision to make these two summer squash into zoodles because they really needed to be eaten. Oh well, there are oodles of zoodle recipes out there. We still managed to finish off the entire bowl and not waste any food. I started a ZOODLE thread here, hoping to get some great ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WholeStanley Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Just in case there are new folks out there reading my log (which I doubt), I just want to say that I did not go out to eat -- not once -- during my initial Whole 30. The odds of just being able to find something 100% compliant are slim. I don't advise it. This time around, well, things are different for me. I may have consumed something in the seasoning or oils that wasn't ideal, but I have chosen not to get obsessive about this. I have to have balance. This. I think this is so important as you move on from a whole30 and incorporate these habits into you're life. Its all about balance, amd I'm trying to find it too. Afterall the whole30 is a holistic lifestyle chnage, its not just about what you eat but your emotional health - and for me its not sustainable to get stressed/upset every time i can't completely clarify the ingredients in the oil used at dinner. Well done on sticking to the meat and veggies, thats a choice you can have control over and ultimately makes the biggest difference to us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Well, I decided to have coffee from Starbucks this afternoon with some heavy whipping cream in it. Yes, I decided... knowing that dairy is not compliant and that I was either going to have to lie about it here, or start over. Well, I don't tell lies. My day started too early by having to get up and take my son's pet rat into the vet for what we were {sort of} hoping was going to be a surgery to remove 2 large tumors she has developed. Then I had to get home, make breakfast, get my shower, take another kid to the dentist for 2 fillings. Got a call from the vet while I was at the dentist, telling me that the X-rays showed the tumors have "spread to her lungs", and therefore they will not do surgery. This made me almost start crying in the waiting room at the dentist, knowing that I had to go home and tell my oldest son this news. I took cavity-son to Culver's as a sort of treat to get ice cream since he was "scared" about these fillings and I promised him ice cream. Flavor of the day was Andes Mint Avalanche. I made it through the Culver's drive-through just fine and was proud of myself for not being tempted by the ice cream. Had to come home, tell the news about the rat, we had to go pick her up, I had to come home and figure out lunch, we started talking about taking the kids camping this week since the rat did not have to have surgery... Then my husband finds out that he has to work on the 4th of July. We have a big party to go to, a birthday party / 4th of July party, and now I am picturing going with the kids alone. Like I have had to do so many other things alone. And I wanted to smoke. And I settled for Starbucks. I had an appointment to get my hair colored, and I always stop and get Starbucks. And I didn't want black coffee, I wanted the fat in it. I like the heavy cream. So I did it. "Whole 30 be damned!" was the mood I was in. I may still be. I haven't decided yet. This all started with getting up too early. Not getting enough sleep. Too much stress and sadness in one day. However, I did not go out and smoke a cigarette with my hairdresser, because I know where that road leads! Now I want ice cream. I have sat here and fantasized about it for awhile, but in the end I decided to post here instead. We can call this: Day That Doesn't Count For Anything: M1: scrambled eggs (4), kale, green onions, ghee, coffee M2: can of Polar tuna, 1/2 avocado, banana ~coffee w/ heavy cream~ M3: Paleo chili recipe, plantain chips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewer5 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 I have not disappeared. We finally got to take the kids camping for one night to try out our new trailer. And today is a big birthday party / 4th of July party. I have not de-railed completely... (eating my compliant breakfast right now) I am just not as focused on my food right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmlynne Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Just got back to the forum today and was sorry to hear about your struggles (all of them). Be kind to yourself! When you are ready, you are ready. Sounds like you have a lot going on without worrying about food Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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