Britishgal Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Right, ok, so I just caved...big time. A family sized bar of Cadburys milk chocolate and 6 mini flapjacks kind of caved. The worse thing is I let my son eat a crunchie and 2 flapjacks and a packet of crisps too. I allowed him to be a part of a binge. Bugger. I need the dictates and rules of a whole30 to stay on track just now. It is hard reversing decades of disordered eating... But I don't want to do another whole30 just now, I need to take a step forward not back, so I am going to do a gal30. Whole30 with a few tweaks... Allowed: *petis pois *feta and GOOD cheese *sour cream *trace amounts of sugar in non sweet foods such as sausages and dressings *a glass of alcohol if I'm out and feel like it (rare but I want the chance if it arises!) or a glug of red wine in a stew *cornflour only in my lemon paste until it runs out and I make my own without the sneaky ingredient *stock pots...not perfect but allowed Funnily that is about it...I can add cocoa to tea within w30 rules and most other things are either out anyway due to my allergy (biscuits, cake, puddings, crusty white bread), not worth it (rice, cream, most cheese I've tried inc cheddar and cheap Cheshire & Brie) or completely without brakes (tortilla chips)...or makes me violently ill but still taunts my waking moments (Cadburys milk chocolate) It is chocolate that destroys all...specifically the sugar laden chocolate paste that shouldn't really be called chocolate at all according to the EU (not enough cocoa solids apparently). I need to break up with it for good, something I've tried to do sooooooo many times. It's like an abusive boyfriend I still love so can't leave. I still crave it whilst I'm vomiting from eating it. My name is Louise and I'm a chocoholic. So tomorrow is day 1. I have lamb mince stew, cauliflower rice & cauliflower mash in the fridge; squid and liver in the freezer; and 8 types of tea & dried lavender in the cupboard... I need to prove to myself I can do this without having to do whole30s for the rest of my life! I need to start believing I have a doable food future. Wish me luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieP757 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You can do this! I saw this post from Brewer5 the other day, and it really resonated with me. Here's to shaking your chocolate addiction! "If I realize that a particular food or drink is having an ill effect on my health -- whether that be physical, mental, emotional -- I also realize that I need to avoid that food. That may sound overly simplistic, but it really is just the truth. I did not like how cigarettes were affecting my life. I quit. Food is no different. We will continue to consume things until we decide that the perceived benefit is no longer worth the cost. I do not have cigarettes "sometimes". They are not a "treat". I do not have them at parties, or when I've had a particularly bad day, or as a reward of some kind. That sort of behavior is what keeps someone trapped in an addiction. It's easy for us to see this about cigarettes. But for some reason, it's harder for us to see this when it comes to food and drink." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 Thanks Julie...that makes so much sense! My dad was an ex smoker (gave up before I was born) and he used to say he'd still love one but if he had one he'd be back on 60 a day within a week. I've never really thought of chocolate in those terms before...but I will now x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loulabelle Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Good luck with your gal30! I used to love Cadbury's chocolate when I still lived back in the UK, now I am so used to darker Swiss chocolate I find Cadbury's only tastes of sweet and no longer enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 Thank you Loulabelle I don't enjoy the chocolate whilst I'm eating it anymore...it tastes bland and icky now...but try telling that to my cravings! It's a roller coaster! Day1: M1: leftover lamb mince stew stuffed full of veg on top of leftover cauliflower mash topped with crumbled feta and heated until the feta started to go squishy and unctuous. M2: cold, lazy bits lunch...cold roast chicken, strips of cucumber and pepper, a few tomatoes, a boiled egg and a hunk of la roule (garlicky soft cheese with herbs). M3: the rest of the chicken in a green curry with a small red onion, a head of broccoli torn into florets, a handful of frozen petit pois, a (far too large it turns out) dollop of green curry paste, 1/2 a pouch of coconut milk and a twist of lime juice over cauliflower rice mixed with desiccated coconut. A handful of raspberries (my favourite fruit) Also 2 bottles of fizzy water with lime juice and 6 large swimmingpool sized cups, served with a mismatching saucer for the pure prettiness and ritual, of various teas (cherry bakewell green tea, rhubarb and blackberry, black tea with rose and white tea with fresh mint leaves). Will have a cup of either cocoa laden lavender tea or camomile tea with fresh lavender flowers before bed later. I had to remove the 2 leftover crunchies from their wrappers and squirrel them away in my son's biscuit tin amoungst the custard creams...if they have been tainted with wheat I cannot eat them. So I won't. Then I made the mistake of picking up a packet of a new kind of ice cream sweeties whilst at aldi and my son was upset I didn't try one ("just one Mama, they are de-lishious")...I, however, declined. I walked to aldi and back a half mile or so away after lunch...the back portion of the trip pulling my flowery shopping trolley up a steep hill and then up our front steps. That's my exercise for today...and I took a nap afterwards because, you know, I needed one Day 1 over. I'm about to paint in a teeny pink heart on today's square of my Filofax diary...to keep a record of the days and keep me honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 One addition I forgot to mention in my list yesterday...butter. I love butter and it gives me no problems (plus it's much cheaper than ghee!) Oh and la roule? "Worth it" cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Day 2: M1: lamb mince stew with the remainder of a tub of sour cream I forgot I had M2: pan fried liver with mushrooms, onions and peas. Pan deglazed with water and butter and the liquid used as gravy M3: lamb mince stew over a baked potato with butter (a million times better than ghee!) with crumbled feta Again drank loads of tea (inc a large cup whilst out with my Mother whilst she had a scone...a scone!!) plus 3 500ml bottles of fizzy water with lime. My Epsom salts arrived so I'm having a bath with them tonight once this little monster goes to sleep...hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. Bliss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 Day 3: M1: 3 fried eggs with mushrooms and onions M2: squid fried in arrowroot powder with asparagus and large Greek salad (cucumber, tomatoes, red onion and feta with thyme and evoo) M3: lamb mince stew over preserved lemon cauliflower rice topped with a dollop of mascarpone 2 bottles of lime laced fizzy water (plus starting another just now) plus copious cups of tea. Will have cocoa and lavender infusion before bed. Only got about an hours sleep last night so I'm exhausted...wanted to nap today after lunch but couldn't sleep then either. I do have periods of not being able to sleep and have had similar over the last few months for a few days at a time so it may pass in its own... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Day 4: M1: 3 fried eggs with 2 rashers of bacon with loads of mushrooms M2: fried squid with arrowroot powder and a large Greek salad topped with feta and drizzled with evoo M3: lemon and garlic lamb with potato wedges and savoy cabbage & petis pois sautéed with chopped bacon All day I've been fighting the cravings...I think I'm going mad. I had good news this morning, something I'd been waiting for for 4 years, yet the fact that I could celebrate with chocolate ruined it and I cried off and on for over an hour. I cannot get my head round why I can't just have a bar...why can't I just do that without binging?? I've given up wheat and peanuts because they make me ill...why can't I just accept chocolate makes vomit? Why is it such a stumbling block?? I'm tired. And I'm sick if myself to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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