GoJo's Mood Altering Whole 30

[GoJo09]

I haven't logged a Whole 30 in a while, so this time I'm going to do it properly so that I can have actual facts to reflect on when things get tough (which they always do at some point!).

Firstly, my reasons for doing another Whole 30:

1. I've had pretty consistent headaches for the past few weeks - perhaps even longer, I can't really remember.
2. PMS this month was off the charts, and my period is heavier than it's ever been.
3. My mood has been very up and down, and my anxiety is pretty bad (for me - I know my anxiety is nothing compared to other people's), and I can definitely feel a spike after eating anything sugary or wheaty (doesn't happen often, but it does happen).  
4. My stomach is not as flat as I'd like, and the cellulite on my legs is a bit more than I'd like. There's always a vanity component!

I did a Whole 30 in January and found it pretty easy on the whole and loved the mental and physical results. I have no idea what I weigh and I don't particularly care - as long as I feel good wandering around in my underwear, that's the main thing . 

Secondly, identifying red flag situations:

1. I only see my partner on weekends, and we tend to eat out and have a few drinks.
   • I don't really want to have to explain Whole 30 to him, but I think I'll have to purely because we're going to have to cook food instead of buying it (eating out is going to be impossible here. Flat out impossible). Basically, I don't want him to think I'm crazy! Which is probably unfair to him. In fact, it's all about me trying to be as low maintenance as possible so that he doesn't think "oh, this is too much work" and dump me. (I don't actually think he would say that. But my people-pleasing brain believes it.) Actually he'd probably be quite pleased not to be spending any money...
2. I'm bored out of my brain at work. There's no mental stimulation, which gives me plenty of time to obsess over things. 
   • Weather allowing (it's winter here) I'll take at least 2 turns around the grounds every day. I'll also bring my book along to keep my brain occupied.
3. Related to #2, I get home from work pretty early and generally want something to eat to fill in some time.
   • Tea and walks!
   • Maybe some afternoon yoga should make an appearance too.
   • Worst case scenario, I can just have dinner at 5pm.
4. Work travel (none planned, but it tends to come up at the last minute).
   • As above, eating out here is impossible, especially hotel buffets - I could manage breakfast, but lunch and dinner would be a write off. My hotels always have a fridge (no microwave) but on my last trip I left the conference centre once, on the 4th day, and I certainly didn't see a supermarket where I could have stocked up. Will cross this bridge when I come to it.
5. Overeating the compliant snacks, like nuts
   • I say I buy the nuts for hiking, but the reality is I eat maybe a small handful on a hike and then eat the rest sitting on the couch. And really, I don't need to take nuts hiking at all. So let's just take them off the table right now. 

That's all I can think of right now... Time for my first distraction walk!

[GoJo09]

Day 1

• 3 eggs scrambled in 2 giant handfuls of sauteed silverbeet (cooked in CO), and a coffee with coconut butter and oil.
• a poached chicken breast, half an avocado, lettuce
• roasted sweet potato (probably about 2 cups)
• fist size serving of roast pork and lettuce

Mood: Pretty good overall.

I ate my lunch pretty early (I managed to hold out until 10 to 12), and then was a bit peckish when I got home at 2. But I didn't want to eat any of the protein or vege in the fridge, just the sweet potatoes. So that tells me I wasn't actually hungry. I did have a meeting last night that I didn't want to go to and was clearly a bit anxious about, so I can see why I ate all those carbs...

Was pretty hungry when I woke up this morning, so clearly not enough to eat last night. I was also pretty negative this morning. And it was far too cold to go outside for the horrid crossfit workout that was programmed, so I skipped that too.

I'm going to cut down on coffee for the rest of the week - I've been drinking far too much lately and I know it's not good. So I skipped my usual second cup at home this morning and had just a single shot when I got to work instead of a double. 

[GoJo09]

1 hour ago, GoJo09 said:

Day 1

• 3 eggs scrambled in 2 giant handfuls of sauteed silverbeet (cooked in CO), and a coffee with coconut butter and oil.
• a poached chicken breast, half an avocado, lettuce - duh, I also had a cup of roast vegetables with lunch (zucchini, beans, carrots, broccolli)
• roasted sweet potato (probably about 2 cups)
• fist size serving of roast pork and lettuce

 

[GoJo09]

Day 2

- HB egg + coffee (when I thought I was going to crossfit) 

- 2 eggs, half chicken breast and 2 big handles of silverbeet cooked in CO; coffee with coconut oil and coconut butter (at work) 

- Scotch egg, half an avo, cup of roast Vege

- 1.5 fists of roast pork, cup of roast Vege, scotch egg

Plus another double coffee, tons of water and several cups of rooibos and Peppermint tea. 

Mood: in general ok, I was tempted to tell my boss to shove it when usually I just vent about him afterwards.

Have been a bit headachey today, but nothing too bad. 

Went for my two walks around the grounds today, so got some good vitamin D (only managed one yesterday as had a short day). 

[GoJo09]

Day 3

• 4.30am few bites of shredded pork pre-workout
• 6.20am few bites of poached chicken and sweet potato post-workout
• 7.00am 3 eggs scrambled in 2 giant handfuls of sauteed silverbeet (cooked in CO), and a coffee with coconut oil at work.
• 11.45am chicken breast, half an avo, lettuce and a cup of roast vege
• 4.30pm Scotch egg and sweet potato
• 7.30pm shredded pork, lettuce, tomato and a big scoop of guacamole with jalapenos (I made my friend tacos, and myself this taco bowl)

Mood: good overall, nothing interesting to report

Ended up walking across campus to a meeting 2x today, so that counted as my walks.

I'm already noticing that the layer of "fluff" on my belly and hips, and really all over is going, so that's a clear sign that something I've been having regularly isn't working for me. Fingers crossed it's all the gluten free crackers and biscuits and the almond milk hot chocolates I've been having, and not the gin and tonic, because I much prefer the G&Ts!

[GoJo09]

Day 4

• didn't have a pre-workout today
• 6.20am few bites of poached chicken
• 7.00am 2 eggs, half chicken breast and 2 big handles of silverbeet cooked in CO; coffee with coconut oil (at work)
• 12.15pm Scotch egg, pathetic amount of lettuce and tomatoes, big scoop of guacamole 
• 5.15pm shredded pork, roast vege in oil (zucchini, carrots and green beans)

Mood: Not great, but nothing to do with Whole 30 - I got dumped in the afternoon, which completely threw off my appetite as well as my mood. But at least I didn't get drunk and eat a giant bag of biscuits or something. 

[GoJo09]

Days 5 & 6 

- I don't really remember Friday (day 5) . All compliant though, and just the 3 meals (wasn't hungry) and didn't over so the coffee either. 

- 3 eggs with sautéed spinach and coffee with coconut oil (forced it down when though it was extremely unappetizing - I don't think anything would have appealed to be honest) 

- 2 boiled eggs and roast sweet potato

- 1 beef meatball in sauce and roast sweet potato 

- 1/4 serving chicken curry w spinach (just couldn't bring myself to eat it) 

- all of the sweet potato

Clearly an odd day of food - the only thing I could bring myself to eat was the sweet potato (an entire kg over the day!). Not sure if it was my brain trying to find comfort food or what, but it's honestly all that didn't make me gag a bit. 

2 walks in the sunshine to different shops was all my exercise. 

*Mood* isn't even worth talking about. Spent R200 on fancy bath bombs to cheer myself up, then couldn't be bothered taking a bath. Keep falling asleep on the couch very early the past 2 nights (like, 7.30) - probably a combo of that stage of the whole 30 and just being sad. 

 

[GoJo09]

Day 7

- half serve chicken curry with spinach, coffee with coconut milk

- 2 eggs with cup of roast Vege and half an avo

- serving of shredded pork and onions, and half cup roast Vege

Mood: still sad. Had coffee with a friend in the morning and visited a friend in hospital. Figured it was time I saw people and talked about it. Didn't want to, quite happy hibernating at home being sad, to be honest.

Wasn't hungry much of the day. 

[GoJo09]

Day 8

• I know I had breakfast, but I can't for the life of me think what it was. Possibly eggs and sauteed spinach. There was coffee with coconut milk, I know that much. 
• 3 beef meatballs in tomato sauce, pile of lettuce with homemade mayo (terrible, terrible mayo made with EVOO. But I'm going to eat as much of it as I can stomach anyway.)
• Green juice (I was at the supermarket and just felt like it.)
• Green capsicum stuffed with shredded pork and onions with half an avo
• a whole pile of roasted sweet potatoes - I wasn't satisfied after dinner, and the sweet potatoes were just out of the oven. I didn't need to eat the entire batch. I didn't even really feel like it by the end. Comfort food. 

Mood: Less constantly sad. Still pathetic. Couple of decent walks in the sunshine. Lots of music. Reading my go-to sad book, Pride and Prejudice. Did some meditation too. I do think this Whole 30 has been perfectly timed, to stop me falling headfirst in to a block of chocolate and a bottle of gin. All of my friends back home keep telling me to "indulge in some Ben & Jerry's, you'll feel better soon". 

[GoJo09]

Day 9

• 5.00am Crossfit
• 7.00am 1 egg, serve of pork and onions with sauteed spinach; coffee with coconut cream (at work)
• 12.30pm Serve of chicken curry with roast vege (zucchini, carrots, beans)
• 3.00pm Run - 3.1km of a 5km circuit.
• 4.30pm 3 meatballs in tomato sauce, pile of lettuce with small handful of olives and mayo
• 6.30pm batch of roast sweet potato again...

Mood: Felt like running for the first time in forever, so I did. Wasn't as terrible as it could have been. I'm not sure if my body is craving carbs, or if I'm just comfort eating, but I've eaten 2kg of sweet potato from Sunday to Tuesday. That's a good effort! Did meditation again before bed. I have been going to sleep at 8 every night - still not sure if that's due to Whole 30 or my circumstances right now. 

[GoJo09]

Day 10

- 5am crossfit 

- 6.15am hard boiled egg

- 7am 3 eggs and spinach, half an avo

- 12.30pm chicken curry and half cup roast vege

- 4.45pm 2 meatballs in sauce, like of lettuce with mayo and olives 

Mood: pretty good overall. Walked to the shops after work and was hungry when I got back so just made dinner then. No flagging energy or anything like that. 

[GoJo09]

Day 11

• 5am crossfit
• 6.15am few bites of shredded pork
• 7am half capsicum, cherry tomatoes, 1 egg, serve of shredded pork and onions, coffee with coconut cream (at work)
• 11.30am 3 meatballs in tomato sauce
• 3pm green juice
• 5.30pm big serve of chicken curry (didn't eat all the chicken), small amount of roast vege
• batch of sweet potatoes...

Mood: mood was ok. I realise that I'm in denial re: the breakup and it will probably hit me next week. Massive brain fog most of the day, clearly did not eat enough in the morning. And vege was totally lacking today. Will be a bit more organised with post-wo food next week, and getting to the shop to top up on vege. 

[GoJo09]

Day 12

• 7am 3 eggs and sauteed spinach with half an avocado
• 11.45am  meatball in tomato sauce with 1.5 cups of roast vege
• 3.30pm green juice and sweet potato chips
• 5pm few bites of chicken and a batch of sweet potatoes

Mood: Not great. Was planning on going for a run, but asthma was playing up and I felt like I couldn't take a deep breath. Just really felt like carbs (couldn't say if that was an emotional or physical want/need), and effed up with the sweet potato chips (a. they're not allowed, and b. I didn't even look at the ingredients - hello, rice flour). Anyway, Imma just carry on (which is a small victory in itself, seeing as my friend wanted to go out to a beer fest last night, and it would have been so, so easy to say eff it...)

[GoJo09]

Day 13

• coffee with coconut cream
• 8.00am Run
• 8.45am Few bites of shredded pork
• 11.00am 3 eggs, sauteed spinach, half and avo
• 2.40pm big serve of shredded pork and cup of roast vege
• 10.30pm handful of olives

Mood: ok. Running seems to help. meals were a bit disjointed - just wasn't hungry this morning. I thought I was going to a friends for dinner and watching a movie, but we ended up going out to a bar, where I drank sparkling water and peppermint tea. Consequently I was hungry when I got home, but not enough to do anything about it. 

[GoJo09]

Day 14

• coffee with coconut cream
• 8am 3 eggs with sauteed spinach and half an avo
• 12.30pm 100g mixed nuts and a hardboiled egg
• 4pm Scotch egg
• 6pm batch of sweet potatoes

Mood: Unable to settle down - didn't want to read a book, didn't want to watch tv, didn't want to do anything except sit and mope. Plenty of energy, just no inclination to do anything. Chatted to some friends back home. Walked to the coffee shop and the supermarket. Food all over the place again. No real reason for it, I just wasn't in the mood to eat meals, I guess. Did do the whole opening and closing cupboards repeatedly looking for...something, several times. 

[GoJo09]

I should also note that I went to bed at 7.30 last night, and slept through until about 6am...

[GoJo09]

Day 15

- coffee with coconut milk

- 8am Scotch egg, 1.5c roast vege (broccoli, Zucchini, carrots and green beans), pesto 

- run

- few bites of chicken breast

- 1pm 3 eggs, sautéed spinach and pesto 

- 5pm children breast and sweet potatoes 

Mood: I'm honestly sick of myself at this point. If I spend any more time sleeping or lying in the sun I will probably turn in to a cat. I know this is a sign of anxiety and low mood, but seriously, it's not helpful.

The only food that is appealing is sweet potatoes, everything else is really being forced down. 

[GoJo09]

Day 16

- coffee with coconut milk

- 8am Scotch egg, roast vege and pesto

- 1.30pm shredded pork and roast vege

- 3pm beetroot chips

- 4.45pm chicken breast w pesto 

- 6pm roasted sweet potatoes 

Mood: I just can't be bothered with anything still. Not great meal composition today, and those chips were a no-no again (and I have the red pee to prove it). Couldn't be bothered going to crossfit this morning (it was a gross workout). Video call with some friends back home was nice, I suppose. 

I know I'm not helping myself get out of these doldrums by hibernating, but it's so hard to find the motivation to do anything about it. 

[GoJo09]

Day 17

• coffee with coconut milk
• 8am Scotch egg, roast vege and pesto
• 10.30am shredded pork
• chicken breast and sweet potato
• 5.30pm shredded pork and roast vege

Mood: same. Went to visit a friend in hospital, which at least got me out of the house (working from home the past few days hasn't been the smartest move). And then a 1.5hr drive home, instead of the usual 35 mins, just to top it off.

[GoJo09]

Day 18

• 7am 3 eggs with sauteed spinach and pesto, coffee with coconut milk (at work)
• 11.45am chicken breast and roast vege
• 4pm shredded roast pork
• 4.30pm roast vege and Scotch egg

Mood: I'm really sick of myself at this point. Wallowing does nobody any good, and I think I'm letting myself away with it. Not enough fat in my meals today, I knew that at the time. Kind of over the Whole 30, and just waiting for a good excuse to give up. 

[kellyfoss]

Hang in there. I read through most of your posts and I can't imagine going through something so emotional right at the start of a Whole 30, because it's instinctual (at least for me) to indulge and "comfort" myself with food in those low moments. You're honestly doing amazing in the face of that, you've made it so far already! Don't give up. Do something kind for yourself every day, even if it's something small. You already are taking great care of yourself physically just by eating this way. I think you mentioned that you meditate sometimes? That's a great idea, or yoga always helps my mood as well and it's less effort than a typical intense workout, which means I'm less likely to blow it off. Good luck. <3

[GoJo09]

Thanks so much for the words, @kellyfoss. I can't imagine it was particularly thrilling reading! Whinge, whinge, my boyfriend dumped me, poor me!  

I actually found it comforting to be doing Whole30 as it meant I couldn't do the full self-indulgent, "block of chocolate in one hand, glass of gin in the other" routine! I'm almost shocked at how hard I'm taking this whole situation - I'm usually a pretty cold person, and to still be this upset after 2 weeks is not the norm for me. But I guess I'm feeling the feelings instead of saying "eff you! Give me wine!"

That said, I made the decision on Sunday to call time on the Whole30 (at day 21). Circumstances had forced me to eat a non-compliant lunch (salad with a burger patty made with who knows what and bbq sauce - there were no other options except going hungry, and it had already been 6 hours and an 8km trail run since I'd eaten. A combination of poor planning for after the run and unexpectedly being in the mountains for 3 hours longer than anticipated). So I'm starting reintroductions now, rather than rushing out to eat all the things.

I got home in the evening, ate a compliant dinner, and then choose to have a couple of glasses of red wine. Noted symptoms: totally stuffed up sinuses after the wine. Still stuffy today (Monday). Will test again in a couple of days once it clears up, to be sure that it was wine and not the burger or just the weather. The wine was totally delicious though.

I did manage to haul myself out of bed to go to Crossfit this morning - I'm trying to fake it till I make it back to my old self...

[GoJo09]

Tried red wine again last night. Let's pretend it was in the interests of scientific observation... Noted symptoms: Didn't feel the same sinus stuffiness as previously (it was very very obvious the day before). Today and yesterday I am notably sadder, but I am also a few days out from my period so I don't know if the feelings can be linked to the wine. 

All my food/meals were still compliant. 

[GoJo09]

Still plodding along with compliant food + red wine (although maybe not in the spirit of things with my green juice, sweet potato chips and nuts after lunch today).

Felt decidedly fatigued this morning at crossfit, but it was a tough workout with a deadlift 3RM PB, so possibly to be expected. It's also my 4th workout in a row (trail race, crossfit, 5km run, crossfit) so possibly just my body being tired. I had planned to run tomorrow, but I'll see how I feel around lunchtime.

[GoJo09]

Went to a beer festival on Saturday. As well as beer, I ate the most amazing pulled pork roll, and then some not so amazing pizza. Predictably, my stomach was unimpressed on Sunday. Didn't notice a headache during the day though, which is unusual.

Was extremely emotional and anxious on Sunday also, but that seems to be my current state, regardless of food. I daresay I didn't do myself any favours, but I can't blame it entirely on gluten.