Started July 3rd

[Kate C Mayone]

Hi all,

I'm 9 days in and today has been my first 'not so great' day.  I woke up feeling exhausted and in no mood for food or meal planning.  The initial 'yay, I'm doing this, go me' honeymoon is over.  This is my 5th or 6th W30 but it's been a while.  Last time was over a year ago when my kids were still babies.  Now that my twins are toddlers it's more challenging.  They more or less eat 80% of the same stuff as me but I have to be really mindful to stop licking spoons and taste testing noncompliant food.  I'm listening to Mindfulness-Based Eating Solution on audiobook to help me address all the mindless eating like when I'm clearing plates or packing lunches.  Pretty good book so far.  Last week was a good start but that's usually the way it goes for me. I had energy and was excited to make some simple clean meals.  Not having a cocktail over the weekend was also a nice change and made the early mornings much easier.  I certainly didn't miss the sugar hangover either.  Right now, my focus is to stay hydrated and eat more fats/proteins but again, my mind ain't into it today.  I'm really looking forward to an early night.  I have salmon sitting in the fridge and honestly, the thought of preparing it feels like torture.  I was thinking to throw it on a sheet pan with some grape tomatoes and green beans for a quick and relatively painfree meal.  On a side note, I wish I was exercising to help boost energy but with my kids waking at 5am right now it's next to impossible.

I know this is just a lot of rambling but I thought it would be important to log-in and note.  I'll stay on track and keep going.  On the bright side, my digestion has been good.  And this round has felt very easy in the sense that I haven't overthought it.  Meals are simple and I'm not running out to spend hundreds on specialty ingredients, etc.  I started to do that but stopped and realized I don't need $100 worth of canned/jarred products from Thrive Market.  Although, I am intrigued by Primal Kitchen's line of mayos and dressings.

Okay, that's it for now.  Thanks for listening.  

[Kate C Mayone]

Day 10 - feeling better since yesterday.  Made my salmon and got to bed relatively early last night.  Helped that I didn't get up at 5am this morning.  Added some coconut oil to my morning coffee and almond milk which really gave me a boost.  Just finished a late breakfast of sweet potato, peppers, asparagus, zucchini and Aidells chicken sausage.  Lunch will be another beet salad with baby greens, carrots, cucumbers and olive oil (ran outta vinegar).  If I need it I have a green apple and some almond butter but I plan to stay away from my tin of nuts today.  Taped the lid shut since I ate too much yesterday.  Still need to focus on my two biggest goals - mindful eating and exercise.  Freeform exercise is hard for me and I enjoy following a video.  Think I need to just suck it up and pay for Jillian Michaels 30day Shred.  Did those in the past and really like her.  That's it for now. 

[Kate C Mayone]

Day 11 - feeling back on track.  Had a decent night but let myself stay up too late.  Still woke up with energy and had my usual breakfast of coffee with almond milk followed by turkey sausage, 1/2 sweet potato, some veggies and added two hard boiled eggs.  Pulled a pork tenderloin out for tonight but not so sure what to do with it.  Probably grill it and serve alongside something with avocado.  Note to self, stop buying so many avocados at once.  Looking forward to this weekend but know that having friends over and ordering out will challenge me.  Not worried but know I need to make a plan and figure out what compliant food is available.  Or just be the weirdo that pulls a dish from the frig to eat while others order from a menu.  Hoping the desire to have a drink isn't there.  I do feel like it's been more than 11 days but not necessarily in a bad way.  Guess it's just part of that being on track feeling.  I know I've been here before and this feels familiar.  

[Kate C Mayone]

Day 12 - Hooray it's Friday.  Energy is still maintaining but unfortunately, the dreaded diarrhea is here.  It's not too bad but I'm gonna pull back a lil on all the oils.  Last nights veggies were drowning in olive oil and I had a very fatty breakfast (sausage, avocado, oily veggies, coconut cream in coffee).  Not sure what dinner will be tonight.  Thought all week that I was looking forward to possibly ordering out for the family so I could relieve myself the cooking burden.  But now that the day is here, I'm still in the mood to cook.  Have a ton of meats in the freezer so I guess I'll just pull one out and wing it.  

Glad that my urge to have a weekend cocktail isn't here.  It would usually kick it around Friday afternoon as a treat to unwind after the kiddos are in bed.  Instead, I'm excited for a nice quiet evening maybe with some tea or kombucha.  It's raining so the thought of maybe curling up with a book (a rarity for me) is in store.  Either way, I know I'll wake up feeling good tomorrow so that payoff is worth more than a drink.  And when I'm not extra stressed and irritated from all the sugar highs/lows, I honestly don't feel that desperate need to "unwind".  I'm already relaxed which is really really nice.  Dare I say, I'm even a lil more patient with my kids.  

Trying not to use food as a reward - yesterday at Target I wanted to buy myself an almond milk coffee or kombucha to treat myself.  I knew I didn't need a drink and went back to the office to hydrate with water.  Felt nice to save the money...especially since I hate wasting it on simply a drink when water is free and better for you.  Have a block party bbq on Sunday and I hope seeing others drink doesn't bother me.  I think I'll make a batch of homemade iced tea with fresh mint and lemon.  Kinda counterintuitive to my previous statements but I figure parties should be an exception to splurge and having a clean refreshment is better than caving and grabbing a beer.

TGIF

[Kate C Mayone]

Day 24 - I'm still here.  Had a few slip-ups but I'm still going.  After the halfway mark I found myself less prepared and not caring so much.  Exhaustion set in with the kids and I was getting frustrated with the daily chaos on top of trying to always have compliant food available.  I always feel shackled to the kitchen at night but I was really starting to resent it.  So over the weekend, I ate baked ziti out of desperation bcuz my grocery order was late and all I literally had in the house was frozen meat and lettuce.  My sister had made us ziti so I fed the kids their dinner and then sat down and helped myself.  I don't know if it was psychosomatic but it didn't phase me in the least - physically or emotionally.  It wasn't amazing but then again ziti is just okay in my world.  Still, I knew I fell off the wagon and didn't want to continue off course.  It did loosen my strings though and I mentally realized that killing myself to stay "perfect" wasn't healthy.  On Sunday, I got Chipotle for dinner bcuz I was so tired of the mass baking/grilling and cooking for the week.  I needed a break.  I shared the rice bowl I got for my girls so there was rice and beans in it.  I picked around what I could but I was hungry and did have some of the rice/beans.  Last night, I had a piece of cheese last night while preparing the girls' dinner.  Again, no immediate effect.  I will admit that I was very irritable over the past weekend and found myself craving chocolate and soda - things I don't normally eat.  My period was two weeks ago so I'm not sure why but I could tell hormones were playing a big part.  And I'm sure the pasta awoke my sugar dragon.  Yesterday after lunch I let myself have some dried fruit leather...technically compliant but it just made me want more.  Luckily, there is none left.  

Me from 3 years ago would look down at someone who couldn't stay compliant for 30 days.  I never understand followers who would make exceptions like having a drink or two over the weekend.  To me, that was a failure and exactly what the program was against.  I thought they had no self-control or willingness to fully participate in the true spirit of Whole30.  They just didn't get it, right?  But my experience this time around (read - with kids) has been very eye opening.  It's a lot harder to care for young kids, work full time, cook every night and stay 100% on the ball.  I know there are people out there that do it.  While pregnant, I always thought I would be feeding my kids real food and never anything processed or high in sugar.  Now I hand them cereal bars in the morning and tell myself "at least they're organic - that counts for something, right?".  I pack them nutritious handmade meals but they're not paleo.  They do eat cheese sticks.  I always buy organic milk, eggs and meat but not always with produce bcuz my grocery bills are $200/wk at best.  They are great eaters so I consider myself very fortunate.  But I cannot destroy myself trying to do everything right all the time.  Something has to give.  And while I appreciate this journey of being on a reset and I know it needed to happen for many reasons, I still understand why I slipped up.  I'm still going to give it my best for the next week and try to balance life while staying compliant.  I know that by giving myself permission to make mistakes, I'm losing a grip.  But I'm okay with that so long as I'm not doing it for the wrong reason.  I'm still trying to be prepared and have good foods available.  I know I should stretch this out and continue past 30 days since I've technically messed up.  But I'm wondering if it'd just be better to keep doing what I'm doing with some mistakes from time to time and see how long I can go.  Isn't that what Melissa preaches in her new book?  I feel like that is much more manageable than being a devote follower.  I'm still reaping many of the benefits and I know from past W30 that my body can handle things like dairy and grains fairly well or at least without major consequence.  I'm sure there are subtle signs of inflammation but honestly, my hands getting a lil stiff isn't a good enough reason in my life right now to avoid a million different foods.  That said, I don't want to eat pasta and rice and bread all the time.  At least not yet.  I know sugar is the biggest demon of all.  And my improved energy is still hanging with me so that's a big benefit.  If I could avoid alcohol for a lil while longer that would be nice.  But there's this strange unifying acceptance out there for wine-drinking moms.  It's like a big inside joke that coffee and wine get you thru it all.  I know I'm better without it but still.  

So this is my long jumbled catch-up on where I've been and currently going.  Today has been good so far - egg omelet and pork with sweet potato for breakfast.  Lunch will be a salad of odds and ends.  For dinner, I plan to make meatballs and use a new technique of binding the meat with mashed cauliflower (nom nom paleo).  I remain hopeful and optimistic.