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Confessions and notes to self...


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and anyone who would like to read them ;)

Day 11.

- Slowcookers are awesome when it comes to timesaving and easy cooking... But I just do not like these (dutch) stews (Yugh! :() Stick to curry's instead.

- Maybe I'm addicted to chipotle this Whole30, maybe not, but I needs to put it on the shopping list asap!

- Even without a proper kitchen (due to big renovation of old 1933 house) I can cook proper easy delicious  whole30 meals. Yeah girl!

- Today was too much, but a good test. It's okay, just take it easy, keep on eating them W30 meals and rock on.

- I love the Day to day book alongside the Whole30 book! They are awesome and I journal everyday, it keeps me strong and I feel in control and supported.

- Sheet-pan dinners (for breakfast) rule! Easy peasy fixing, cleaning, tasteful, everything, no recipe needed.

- I can eat more veggies than ever before, it amazes me, I guess all those years of hard work trying to get more veggies in me are finally paying off.

- I still struggle to eat less meat protein. I really need good protein to keep me satisfied for a couple of hours, but I am not a fan of fish and can only eat so many eggs.

- My breath stinks and I'm allergic to peppermint, also I believe it has nothing to do with my mouth, blame the internal warfare that's going on right now due to this amazing W30 journey I am on. Sorry body, but you will thank me in time.

- I do believe this W30 is the one to change it all and get me to food freedom forever. 






- I'm Dutch and I really really reaaaallly do not like stews... yikes!  :o


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End of day 12 and my head started to freakin' hurt like crazy a couple of hours ago, why!?!?!? And please stop :( 

Thought is was like an hunger headache so ate some canned tuna and carrots and drank some tea, but it has gotten worse, now after diner it's really starting to mess me up. Please. turn the lights down and let me sleep now thank you! - _ - 

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Early morning day 15

I woke up with a very emotional sad feeling today. I could literally start to cry right now if I let myself. Had a very short night of only 4 hours of sleep. Weirdness. I was feeling stoned the last couple of mornings after some good long nights, now none of that. Though... the depression is real. :/  (Maybe I shouldn't have binge watched a whole season on Netflix last night? Yikes!)

I am a bit nauseous aswel. The thought of food isn't making it better, though I will make breakfast soon and eat something 'cause I do feel hungry. 

Wrote a post in the troubleshooting section yesterday about a couple of things. Loose stool, the maybe I have an intolerance for avocado question, stoned in the morning and not in love with potatoes and other starchy foods (but in need of them because of loose stool, ahw the dillemas)

unfortunately the day by day book had nothing for me this morning. It was all about being social, and otherwise feeling great. I on the other hand feel like today is going to be one of the lowest days of this Whole30 yet and it will need all my energy and willpower to get me through without slipping up and keeping my head up. 


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So apparently yesterday was blue Monday. Never knew I was so susceptible to those kind of things but man I was so depressed. I was crying the whole morning tempting to get work and household tasks done.
Finally when lunchtime was overdue and I got myself up to make some food even though I was nauseated with this feeling of grieve and unhappiness and not that hungry, I found some rays of sunshine in my day and could even get myself past it and enjoyed the whole meal prepping and eating my lunch at 14:30 PM. 

Diner ran late too, 20:15 we we're sitting at the table, me just barely eating two bites of a yummy diner, I was just not feeling it. So my other half ate my salmon and the veggies unfortunately got wasted (couldn't keep them in the fridge, wouldn't have survived it, also no room, cause we have a tiny fridge in our bedroomkitchenimprov.). 

All this was actually more of a personal stuff I'm going through thing than Whole30 related reaction to the change in food on my plate and lifestyle improvements. Actually. That is a lie 'cause I do believe that eating healthy and living healthy has given me the strength and clear mind to adres issues I have been dealing with in the back of my mind for too long (aka ignoring and burying it under work and white lies). You know what, this realization just comes from writing this down, but I am grabbing my Day to Day and putting this one down as one big massive NSV! I was waiting for tiger blood (have had that switch flipping on during one of my first W30 runs and recall it vividly) but I can honestly say I think this is even better and a bigger win. :D

Thank you Whole30 for giving me the strength to deal with painful hard emotions and thank you Whole30 log for giving me room to vent.



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Day 18

Sleep is still not optimal. I had a very light sleep. I am awake before the alarm goes off, sometimes even before the light starts coming up (wake-up lights are the best!) but it takes a lot of effort to get myself out of bed. Luckily, once I am up and making myself my morning tea and reading the Day to Day chapter of the current day I feel awake and clear headed. So it's just the getting out of bed part that still isn't what it used to be. Great to read in today's chapter that this can still be the case and my body probably needs more time to even out the hormonal balance, cause I am doing all the bedroom hygiene stuff and have gotten into a pretty good evening routine. 

My mood and low(er) energy has a lot to do with the stuff that has been going on in my life. (Almost burned-out, have been home since november and working at home a couple of hours a week working up to my full hours, I am currently working about 60% of my hours and had my fist half day at the office last Tuesday). It's more that I haven't been able to hold my energy for the whole day and I still struggle to find balance, but I do believe I am on the right path and just need to have patience.

A strange thing that has been happening since day 15 is me not being hungry, even feeling a bit of disgust by the idea of eating diner. It has happend day 15, 16 and yesterday evening. Though I did eat my diner on day 16 and 17, it didn't really taste all that great. On top of that I was feeling cold yesterday afternoon and couldn't warm myself up. So I decided to take a hot magnesium rich bath with a couple of drops of bergamot (so so grateful to have our bath) after this I was warm but a headache had started to creep around the corner. I really wasn't feeling strong enough to make diner, even though it was so so easy. Luckily my partner helped cutting up the veggies and I am proud to say we made it together and I ate a healthy meal after all. The past year we would have just ordered in some type of junk food. I am happy to report that the thought of doing that actually made me even more sick, so yay NSV FTW! Also my partner stepping up and helping me was great too. He has had a hard year aswel and previously just would not have helped me with some kind of lame excuse (like the fact that we do not have a kitchen yet) he is not doing the whole30, he has never done anything of the sort so I still make his peanut butter sandwiches everyday for work, but that doesn't bother me one bit. 

I know I am doing this right. Not perfect but the best way I can and I just need to have some patience and not let certain personal things that also influence mood, health and energy cloud my judgement of what the whole30 is doing for me. 






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  • 2 weeks later...

Tomorrow's day 30 y'all and I'm making it a Whole60

Very proud of myself. After years of being trapped in a vicious circle of feeling bad and eating worse I finally got to a point where I felt strong and confident to finish a whole30.

Mind you, I have done several whole30's in the past and lead a good paleo life. But around four years ago something happend and I went spiraling down. This summer was an ultimate low since my decent from paleo heaven started and I could not do anything else but put everything to a halt and acknowledge me and the state I was in. I faced the facts and started working hard on getting back up, back to feeling myself again. (I should add, it wasn't just the food and lifestyle that did me in, there was a lot of stress involved at work that also needed to be dealt with and on top of that we started renovating our new home in the fall of 2016).

My health is all over the place so I had to pick one or two focus points for this whole30 and hope that would give me the strength to carry on. For me it was simple. I had to make three whole30 compliant meals a day in a improvised kitchen because the house still has no kitchen and I had to start doing the stuff I like, that make me feel good and happy. This meant a cleaning and reading with lots of magnesium baths to destress and focus on getting better again.

Good thing is, I can name several no scale victories that make me say that I successfully completed my first goals. I feel like myself again, mentally. I am happier, have a stronger mind and learned how to balance my energy and what to do when I miscalculate so that I always had and have three whole30 meals a day on hand. Easy peasy recipes I cook up, mostly, in my multi-slowcooker that don't need a lot. I notice that my belly is less carrying less fat, most of the days I feel lighter and slimmer. But mostly, this whole30 was about mental strength and energy. Finding myself again and in this finding the strength to take care of me. It makes me very happy to notice I get hungry in the morning and eat well enough to keep me satisfied until lunchtime and so on. My circadian rhythm is back, my hormones are more balanced and my blood sugar is 'tamed'.

So, when I started I already whispered to myself that I would probably make this a whole 60 and most like needed a full 90 days to really get to the bottom of my health issues. At least te issues that are food related. A few days ago I decided to step into make 2018 the year of my health. I am currently undergoing tests for issues I have been dealing with for years. unexplainable pains, tiredness and weird incidents. I will be going to a dentist for the first time in (I think) 8 years. No my teeth look fine, I do take care of them but I do have issues with bad breath and  just want to make sure there aren't any cavities, cause they can cause more harm and damage in the long run, but for now nothing is bothering me. I have lots of food intolerances and allergies and stomach/bowl troubles.

I am not discouraged, but am a little worried that I haven't felt that great energy surge I would get from a whole30 years before. It worries me, but I have patience cause I am seeing specialists and am determined to get to the bottom of  my declining health. So, time to set my next goals and make new plans and set up a strategy for my Whole60 intensified.

I am thinking of cutting out some extra foods that I think are causing me harm or that need a limit to how much my body can handle. For instance, I think eggs should be fine, but maybe I need to dial them down... a lot. So, I want to take them out and then enclose them in a slow roll introduction period where I want to see how many I can eat before I start to notice a reaction, of any. 

The list I made up so far, a work in progress:


Coconut (everything coconut expect the oil)
Black Pepper
Sweet potatoes
raw tomatoes

I should add that I already eliminated all fruits due to allergic reactions (very easy to do cause I needed them out for the first couple of weeks anyway to slay my sugar dragon) and haven't had very limited portions of potatoes and no tubers like parsnip. I don't like them and I think that's for a good reason. Oh and no nuts and seeds (allergic to hazelnuts and have noticed a dimmed reaction to other nuts, so they where out too.

I am thinking of one week without all of the above on top of the Whole30 rules and see how it goes. I do need to post a question (I think in the troubleshooting section) to see if anyone has any ideas of a mayo kind of sauce now that avocado's and eggs are out.

Why do I feel the need to do this? Well, one thing I mentioned is the energy surge that is not happening, second reason is the fact that my sinuses have not cleared at all, something that has always happend during my whole30's in the past and my tummy is still trying to tell me it does't like something(s) I am feeding it. 

On that last note, today was hard. I overdid it yesterday energy wise so I am paying for it today. This almost always happens, the crap thing about it is that it actually sets me back mentally too. It can really bring me down hard. So, I took all the steps needed to push trough day 29 but I am not a happy camper. My belly is bloated and hurting, my body has zero energy and I pushed hard to make diner tonight.  But I made it, so there's that and that makes me proud! ;P

Okay, to whomever has taken the time to read my rant, thank you and rock on!


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