Perfectionism

[ScoutFinch]

Appropriately for a Sunday, I've been thinking a lot this week about how "religious" all of doing the Whole 30 is, and how easily one slips into doing the rules for the rules' sake, rather than following the rules because of all the goodness that will come from them.

I think inside of all of us, there is a person who is waiting to be in relationship, but relationship is hard to come by, even with ourselves. Much easier to stay in control, find a set of rules to follow, and turn them into our god.

But one thing that fixing three meals a day is doing for me, along with shopping in advance and making big batches of things ahead of time, basically spending more time in the kitchen than I have in a long while, is that now I'm just fixing supper, or breakfast, or whatever. It's not about how "good" I was all day, or "compliant" or whatever--in other words, the rules are there, I'm following them, and so they don't really have that much significance on their own.

Instead, I'm finding I have much more time, space, and energy to consider things, daydream, experience what's happening in the moment, and so on.

There's a big part of me that would like to get a class-action suit of some kind going against Big Food and the diet industry. For we have been taken on a big, big, psychological and spiritual ride in the name of Progress and Profit, and there are some of us who are not going to recover.

Anyway, those are my deep thoughts for today.

[golden]

I totally know what you mean!

I have a perfectionist streak, and I struggle with control issues. I have flickers of worry that I'm doing my Whole30 to be closer to perfection, and more in control. But then again, eating Whole30 doesn't result in guilt or obsession (although my boyfriend accused me of putting more energy into my diet than into other things in my life today, which hurt me).

I find that this aspect of Whole30, that I'm eating within the guidelines in order to fuel and heal my body, comforting. I think that I have had a lot of anxiety around food in the past. On top of the psychological aspect of craving a granola bar every mid morning and afternoon, I would anticipate that craving and get anxious that I wouldn't have food when I needed it and would run out of energy. It would make me feel safer to have a granola bar in my purse. Now, I'm finding myself getting emotional before I go to the grocery store, like I'm worried I won't be able to get the foods I need, and then I feel relieved after I've bought all my groceries. But from meal to meal, I feel satisfied and energized.

That all sounds crazy, I know, but it's true.

[AmyS]

That's intense. And so right.

[MelliebuStacey]

This spoke to me, so so deeply.

Thank you.

[ScoutFinch]

golden, that doesn't sound crazy to me at all. It sounds like a typical day at the grocery store (though less and less so now). Thank you all much--glad it spoke to you (and that it's not just me).

[Xandra]

The hardest thing for me about Whole30 was changing my food prep habits. Eating the food was never hard, but constantly having to stop and think about ingredients, shopping, menu planning, and cooking was mentally exhausting. If anything was going to derail my process, it was that, because it would have been so easy to fall into my old habits.

It's so nice now to have the space to think that comes with changing habits. I don't have to think so much about cooking all the time, because the ingredients are there and I know what to do with them and how to keep the fridge stocked so that a meal is just one quick reheat away.