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Jessica M.'s W30 #2 starting 3/11/13

Jessica M.

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This may wind up being a Whole 25 or thereabouts because of a trip, but we shall see how close I can keep it after that.

I found ISWF in December and did my first W45 Jan 2 to Jan 15. I have been learning a LOT (a bit overwhelmed, really) and need more help breaking lifelong habits (coming straight from a pretty S.A.D. Diet), so I will probably need a few rounds. Lost 12 lbs the first time. Gained two or three back the past week or so. Have been back to sweetening my coffee, not logging, had Coke Zero twice last week, gobs of cheap peanut butter and a fast food lunch. So... Kind of sabotaged myself there, which is not new.

I was tempted to not start today. Weekend was crazed so I haven't cooked or prepped. Hubby took back the shopping duties saying there has been "nothing to eat"--spent a ton of money and now I am the one with "nothing to eat." I have still been buying mostly the same stuff for my family. Stopped buying pretzels and a couple of things. Had a whole talk about not wanting the kids to have soy any more and he bought more Boca burgers. Our son has a very (self-)limited diet and that is one of the few things he eats. But I want other options. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Got GOOD news at work last week that still flipped on my anxiety because it involves more work, public criticism and being on camera. Yikes. So... Wanted to retreat to frozen lunches and comforting foods but I have made this my year to finally get healthy so here I go. Oh, and I have cramps. I'm a ball of joy.

198.8 this morning. :-(. Want to be about 140. Am only 5'1" so probably should be more like 120. Goal for March 11 to April 5, get under 190. Break habits. Exercise at least a day or two a week (not exercising at all).

Measured this time, forgot last time. Waist:39", Hips 48", Left Thigh: 28", Right Thigh: 27", Across chest under armpits: 40", Across breasts: 47". Yeah, long way to go.

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FOOD: All over the place. Unprepared and running late. Was making an egg with leftover ground beef stuff and spinach to have for breakfast, and wound up bringing that for lunch, because I'd planned on baby spinach with a can of salmon and some avocado, but I let my beautiful bag of spinach get all funky. I'd soaked it and drained it and let it dry in the collander as much as it would, then put it in a pot layered with paper towels. I should have dried it better. It got smelly and mushy because I didn't move it to the fridge yesterday. :-( My veggie co op woman got me these sweet potatoes that are purple looking. Threw one in the microwave this morning. Inside of it is white like a banana! Can I eat this? I have no idea! Ugh. Had to leave for work, so I did. It was delicious. I may have to start over tomorrow? I don't know! So...

BREAKFAST: strange "sweet potato" thing dipped in some coconut oil. Some baby carrots. When I got to work I had a big handful of dry roasted almonds and coffee with coconut milk. I know. Not ideal. Where's my protein? And these veggies are very carb heavy. Oh well. My fault for not preparing, need to do better.

LUNCH: grabbed leftover ground beef with olives and stuff in it and leftover sauteed spinach, scrambled an egg into it. Brought an avocado will have some of that. If I need it I have a banana. Want more coffee but not sure I will/should have it.

DINNER: ??? Have to run home from work to get my daughter to girl scouts (Brownies) so it won't be till at least 8pm, that's all I know for sure.

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2:30 or so, did have that second CM coffee. At Brownies now. Had an apple with sunflower seed butter. I don't love it. I bought 1 unsweetened and 1 sweetened buy 1 get 1 free figuring I like everything and so does my daughter. ;-). We're both iffy on it.

Family had corn, carrots and meatballs. I can't have that. Need to make my own thing. I need to cook lunch for the week anyway. Might make green sliders from Nom Nom Paleo.

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Dinner wound up being all over the place. A sweet potato (regular orange flesh kind) with some coconut oil. 3 dried apricots (not as good as I thought they would be. Taste like preservative. Oh well). Cooked turkey and sweet potato hash thing I can eat tomorrow. Picked at that a little. My stomach is hurting and—this is new—my chest hurts. Tight in the middle. Gas? Anxiety? I don't know. My period kicked in with full force. I am on a new kind of BCP, and it's just bad today. Going to get the heating pad and lie down.

So, day 1 grades for myself:

Meals: C Compliant foods but disordered and not enough veggies by far.

Stress Management: C Anxious about everything, running from task to task. Par for the course for me.

Pain Management: D — hurt all day because I didn't take allergy medicine in the morning.

Sleep: Overslept this morning and was too rushed. Heading to bed now, so will get about 7 hours if the kids and dogs don't wake me. So... B- maybe?

Exercise: F (no exercise).

Goals for the rest of the week: Be in bed at 10:30 (not 11 or 12 or 1). Take at least 10 minutes without anything happening except deep breathing. Dog snuggling while breathing is acceptable. Falling asleep on a child's bed doesn't count. Buy more veggies since my beautiful spinach was ruined.

Oh, green sliders didn't happen yet. Bought beef and mushrooms... came home to find I had no frozen spinach. Oh well. Off to bed. Day 1, not stellar but in the books.

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Day 2: Tuesday

Breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled in microwave with a little turkey/sweet potato hash, red/orange peppers (raw), coffee with coconut milk.

Lunch: Almonds a bit before lunch, turkey/sweet potato hash, avocado. Needed something green. Oh well.

After work: headed straight to kids' basketball practices. Ate raw almonds and a banana in the car.

Dinner: after 9 pm: Spaghetti squash sautéed in coconut oil, salmon baked in a bit of coconut oil with lemon pepper seasoning. Lime in my seltzer.

About an hour later I went back for the second square of salmon I was going to have tomorrow. Better than the apple with sunflower butter my brain was contemplating, I suppose. Really tasty. Gave the dogs each a bite. They were very pleased.

Having more lime and seltzer. I am trying to like seltzer. I love water but need something with flavor. I have tried dozens of teas and all kinds of fruit waters. Only lemon or lime are even somewhat amusing, and it needs to be like half a lemon, not a wedge. Hoping it is good for my tummy, also. Too many nuts today. And I am on the computer at 11pm, so that is not good. Allergies/head were better today, so everything was better. Very crampy and having a bad time on the new BCP. Will have to have the dr. change me yet again at my physical next month.

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Thanks, CaveGirlMegan. I think hubby is getting snipped this year so I will try going without (afterwards) and see how that goes.

Rest of the week was ok. Super busy. Out early this mornin to sell Girl Scout cookies. It's St Paddy's so I want to get a soda bread. Telling myself,"you don't REALLY like the soda bread in Florida, anyway. I can make a corned beef maybe and I have cabbage already. ;-)

Have been cheating in my mind. Wanting to stress sat and talking myself into not doing it. It is a mental challenge all day long. Ugh. I'm not even hungry. I'm emotionally hungry. :-/

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