Wynne Jones Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Grateful that I can be HONEST with myself. Have been praying for the willingness to accept certain hard facts about me. I am addicted to alcohol, cigs and sugar and ALWAYS will be. 3.5 yrs sober, mostly cigarette free for 15 years (with a few brief slips which always suck and are never worth it), but that damned sugar dragon keeps getting me. Another day 1 today - it takes what it takes, right? The good thing is, I know how I will feel if I can just stick with it. Inflammation, cravings, GERD, bloat, headaches, achilles tendonitis, shakiness, and lethargy will be gone. I just need to get through the first couple of weeks and I'll be back in the magic. Part of me wishes I had never gone off-roading. I had no idea how hard it would be to come back. Moderation and I don't mix - my drug of choice will always be MORE. But part of me is glad I had this additional "bottom" and I hope I can remember how lousy and out of control I felt last night, shoving store-bought, totally un-special cookies in my mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bethany Lannon Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Congratulations on your sobriety! I know how you feel with sugar... Moderation has never seemed to be part of my vocabulary. I say that I'll have a small amount, and then end up over-doing it big time. Homemade goods like cakes, cupcakes, cookies, and any other thing that involves flour, sugar, chocolate, butter --- they're my weaknesses. When it comes to pre-packaged sweets, those I can control (except maybe Reese cups and those darn Brookside dark chocolate covered berries). Besides losing the last few pounds of baby weight and really focusing on changing my body composition (more lean body mass/muscle & losing fat as opposed to just losing weight), my biggest goal is to change how I view food. I want "moderation" to be a natural part of my vocabulary... I want to enjoy something small without feeling guilty that I even enjoyed it in the first place (& beating myself up over it) and without being angry that I only allowed myself a small bit. It's a warped relationship I have with food. I'm on day 6 and its already starting to improve, even when my husband and son do decide to eat ice cream in front of me. I know where you're coming from about the sugar dragons... They're definitely more resilient than we'd like them to be. Stick with it... Take it one day, heck, even one meal, at a time. Don't focus on the 30 days. It's like what running coach Jenny Hadfield says about training for and running a marathon: "eat the elephant one bite at a time"... Don't focus on the entire elephant in front of you, just focus on one bite at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bethany Lannon Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 One other thought... Before I officially started my w30, I had implemented many of the principles into my diet for about a week. The day before I started was my husband's birthday (which is why I hadn't officially started yet). I made him a birthday cake... That night, we had cake and ice cream... The sugar from that cake, frosting & ice cream sent me over the edge. I felt miserable that night, and all the next day, my stomach felt like it was battling both a stomach flu and a hangover. I kept saying I wish I could bottle up that feeling for when sugar cravings hit. And that was just after a handful of days of cleaning up my diet -- I was probably around 75-80% compliant in the days leading up to my official W30 start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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