danago Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Ok.....What's stopping me today? The house is full of fresh paleo food, great and beautiful veggies and fruits. I love the energy I get from W30....so why have I not worked out for a week, why have I binged? Maybe because the energy scares me? It's great to feel good...but maybe scary? I must really get a handle on this. The quote on my desk says "You've got to face your shit or be ruled by it." I realize this last week that I'm maybe not facing something...so here I am. I start a new job (In addition to the old job!) in 2 weeks...I know that I need to feel strong and energetic, with the clarity of thought that being healthy brings. In the last week (more?) that I've binged I've noticed my lower energy, creeping up depression, non restorative sleep, even some abd cramping and nausea. Why isn't that enough to help me eat healthy? Thanks for the opportunity to stream of conciousness here. Dana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 Better this afternoon, just finished making cauliflower mashed "potatos," (Paleo home cooking) basil pesto, red pepper "hummus" (Susan Faragaso) and meat/spinach muffins (Well Fed, thanks Melicious!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 I feel the effects of not eating clean over these last 2 weeks....it took a while, since I'd been clean prior to that. I'm just beginning to realize that while there are some immediate effects of going off the rails, the real life effects can take a few weeks. I'd continued feeling good when I'd binge, waking and sleeping, but then had slowly decr. energy, but still more than usual. NOW, after 2 weeks, I notice I'm more sluggish, more down. So after yesterday I'm day 2 of getting back to the great healing! I've packed a pork chop, some boiled eggs, pesto, veggies and red pepper "hummus" to dip them in, and an apple...oh yes, and a few meat/spinach muffins from theclothesmakethegirl.blogspot.com. I have 13 hrs ahead of me, and I feel ready to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Feeling better just being a better "eater." Yesterday I really battled some hunger pains towards the end of my day, close to bedtime, but instead of eating just before bed, I reminded myself of how hormones/food/sleep can interact and refrained from the midnight snack. It's just day 3, so I know from previous W30s the carb addiction lows are probably coming....but I am grateful to wake up today and feel good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 Starting Day one today. I didn't think I'd have such a battle on my hands! Crossfit in an hour or so, and looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dana Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Starting Day one today. I didn't think I'd have such a battle on my hands! Crossfit in an hour or so, and looking forward to it. hang in there--i find CF really helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanye Mercer Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Danago - Sounds like you have some added stress besides concentrating on the Whole30. I know I'm quick to focus on food and forget to take care of other important things like being kind to myself while I'm going through whatever it is I'm going through. Sometimes I have the clarity of mind to ask my body or my mood or my fatigue... what it is that part of me would like for me to know? I mostly just mull over the thought, noticing if anything comes up. Sometimes it does and sometimes, not. But all of me appreciates feeling heard - without judgment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Day four and still going. I'm questioning whether the newly diagnosed thyroid stuff is the reason for my bloating and slugginshness. I say sluggish, but it's CF in the morning, and I kicked ass a little today! On the down side, I am sore from this week and tired, despite taking a nap yesterday. I remember days 4-8 being less productive and less energetic.....but when it happens again I wonder what's wrong! I think I'll use this blog posting to say: I get it. It takes time. Everything's cool. (I want everything instantly!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Day six and still sluggish. But glad I'm here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 Good work for me. Day 13 today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatork Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 yay for day 13! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 Beginning day 17 and I def. notice increased energy. I'm working 12 hr ER shifts, and I've worked a ton of overtime plus crossfit. Normally I'd be crawling, but I really still feel energized. My jeans? They still don't fit....and yes, that is a problem. I'm unwilling to let go of this idea that I will look "thin," although I know that this is NOT supposed to be what it's all about. At the beginning of this log I quoted the line "You've got to face your shit or be ruled by it." I think that's totally true, and I still don't think I'm getting all the benefits of the W30 because my busy work has helped me to NOT face my shit. It takes more than 30 days of eating clean to become zen like?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dana Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Beginning day 17 and I def. notice increased energy. I'm working 12 hr ER shifts, and I've worked a ton of overtime plus crossfit. Normally I'd be crawling, but I really still feel energized. My jeans? They still don't fit....and yes, that is a problem. I'm unwilling to let go of this idea that I will look "thin," although I know that this is NOT supposed to be what it's all about. At the beginning of this log I quoted the line "You've got to face your shit or be ruled by it." I think that's totally true, and I still don't think I'm getting all the benefits of the W30 because my busy work has helped me to NOT face my shit. It takes more than 30 days of eating clean to become zen like?!? yeah, 30 days isn't much. but it's also a lot. and so is 17. zen probably'd think even shorter (like each moment:). and you've racked up a ton of moments in your 17 days so far. and it's obvious from your posts that during at least some of those moments, you've been bringing sensitive awareness to your "shit" (and hopefully to your not so shitty bits too). in my own life, i really do find the very act of mindful attention--especially when gentle and non-grasping--makes change unfold over time. usually slowly. but intention, attention, and persistence can do so much. congrats on the energy shift, especially when working 12-hr ER shifts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Wow, Dana, thanks! You've helped me with that bit of wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 7, 2012 Author Share Posted May 7, 2012 Who would've thunk I'd make it to day 22? I certainly had my doubts. My energy seems to be much better, but I continue to struggle with my clothes not fitting. I think that at my age, 47, maybe it takes longer for "the magic" to start happening? My pre-W30 diet wasn't so bad....maybe 80/20 W9, so maybe the changes happen more slowly. In any case, this weekend I started thinking that even if it took me twice as long (i.e. 60 days) to feel really good...wouldn't I take the time? SO...except for certain remarkable days like birthday weekend, I will try to make this a two-fer, a whole 60. The idea scares me...I've never done anything like that before....but what am I to do? Go back to feeling horrible? I do keep remembering Dana's bit of wisdom (see above) : Intention, attention, persistance. This is part of what it takes to move gracefully through. And I am so grateful I started this journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 9, 2012 Author Share Posted May 9, 2012 Day 24 and feeling down, bloated....but with energy(!) I'm staying W30 for the lack of ups and downs in my energy level, for my ability to not have the hunger demon ("ME WANT FOOD NOW") and some solid sleep. Yet.....jeans do not fit, clothes not fitting well. I don't know (yet) what the problem is, but maybe as I move into another W30 (with breaks for birthday) I'll find out? It is discouraging to not feel less bloated and lighter at this stage of the 30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 10, 2012 Author Share Posted May 10, 2012 Still sluggish. Is it my age (47?) Thyroid? I'm grateful for the good that's come of the last 20+ days, but I do not understand why my body's not responding in the way that it has before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivelyLady Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I hear ya on the bloated thing. I have my issues with that too. Have you been able to tie it to any particular food? I know there are lots of veggies that mess me UP. Also, have you tried taking digestive enzymes with your meals? They can really help overall digestion, thus regularity, thus sluggishness. I know how frustrating it is to be so on top of things and still have issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Thanks, Jess. I DO feel alone on the "magic not happening" train. Just that response has helped me this morning! Ya know, I haven't ever really delved deeply enough to see if a w30 approved food could be causing some of this. The thought scares me because...I have to worry about this, too?! I only occ. remember to take digestive enzymes, so that bit of advice was timely. I'll do more. Yesterday I did not eat the free pizza, cheesecake, brownies and cookies at work. (!) That these are some favorite foods of mine makes me double proud...and more pissed that I'm "stuck." I can see that I feel BETTER on w30, but I admit....I'm getting way bogged down by continued not-fitting-into-jeans, not being super woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dana Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 hey, Dana, great work on avoiding yesterday's work temptations! i'm guessing you felt way better than you would've had you succumbed. do you ever follow Mel (author of WellFed, which is like the only cookbook i use) over at Clothes Make The Girl? a little ways back she posted about some troubles she's having, and she's done a few followup reports since. i'm not saying her situation and case is the same as yours...but offers a perspective other than the typical "success stories" and might help you "take heart" in it all and possibly give you ideas for new things to consider or explore. this is the first post...but there have been others since: http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/2012/03/28/i-love-my-body/ smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Dana, I totally have that post bookmarked! I've got an appt. to see my doc about thyroid issues next week. That post really gave me hope that if Melicious was doing all that hard work and not seeing some things change, maybe I'm not crazy! That said...large nice anniversary party for friends tonight. The restaurant's menu looks soooo good....but I note that I *can* eat paleo if I so choose. Here's to hoping I'm choosing right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danago Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Well, I didn't choose well AT ALL for two days, yesterday saw me back for paleo day 1 instead of day 29. Am I happy about those choices? No. I am going to try to accept myself anyway. I am, (maybe, just a little?) hard on myself mostly, so I'm gonna try to give myself a little pass on the beating myself up portion of this dance. Sunday is the iron girl triathalon. Yikes! I plan to be as ready as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derval Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Good luck on Sunday & hope your re-set goes all the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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