Being a Whole9 houseguest

[jent103]

(Not that I'm going to stay with Dallas and Melissa... though that might be fun!)

 

This weekend, I visited my brother and his family, who live far away from me. I stayed with them, so had little input on the available food. (If I'd driven, I would have brought some things with me, but as I flew I was much more limited.) They eat well compared to many - very little processed food, and the kids think it's not a meal if there aren't vegetables. So it's not like I was eating complete junk! But they do eat grains, gluten, dairy, peanut butter, etc., plus dessert and treats occasionally.

 

There were choices I actively made (like gluten-loaded local specialties when we were eating out), and I don't regret those, though I do see their consequences! But I'm wondering how you all deal with situations where you're stuck between being a "good," low-maintenance houseguest and sticking to your usual way of eating (in the absence of actual allergies or strong intolerances). For example, my sister-in-law made muffins for breakfast. Tasty, but not something I'd usually deem "worth it" - but do I rifle through their fridge looking for something else when she's already gone to the effort, or take the hit? (I took the hit in this case, FWIW. I fear hurting feelings!)

[Physibeth]

What I usually do when I'm eating at someone else's home is before I go I very kindly let them know what my eating restrictions are. In this day and age that isn't really unheard of. For me I usually tell them that I do not eat gluten, soy, and processed foods and that I try to limit dairy, non-gluten grains, and beans. If I'm staying (like when I went to my parents for a week at Thanksgiving) I tell them I'm more than happy to cook for myself if that helps me not be a bother. Every now and then something is of course worth it. We had a gathering of college friends this fall for example and I happily ate a small slice of homemade apple pie and a piece of french toast made with real sourdough letting my hostess know that those things were special enough to me to break my gluten ruling. 

 

I think most people want to be accommodating so like with a restaurant it is more about kind communication and knowing where the rules can and cannot be bent. After all...nobody wants an uncomfortable/grumpy house guest.

[jent103]

Thanks, Bethany! That makes sense, and pretty much the tactic I take with my parents (they know I'm eating differently, and I don't have any problem bringing some food to their house or helping cook).

 

I think in this particular case, it would have been tough regardless because I don't have major allergies or sensitivities, and they know that (my consequences are mostly delayed - breakouts, bloating, etc), so suddenly giving them restrictions would have been strange to them - but more so because my brother is one of those who say "Paleo? You know cavemen only lived to 30, right?" Telling him I'm not eating much gluten would get me the equivalent of an eye roll or snarky comments about being trendy, not to mention being called on it if I did indulge, and I guess I have to decide whether I'd rather deal with that for a couple of days or just roll with it and get back on track later. But that's a special case, and not a frequent one!

[Physibeth]

That's too bad that your brother can't respect your decisions especially since they are based on your personal experiences. I don't generally feel the consequences of gluten until I've really had too much either, but that doesn't mean they are not real. When I get the cavemen b.s. I usually say that my decision has nothing to do with cavemen, I just like how much better I feel. Some people will always be jerks about it though.

[jent103]

That's exactly what I say! I don't let his opinion change my usual diet, but when I know there will be indulgences and he's going to be commenting on them if I make a big deal out of Paleo, it makes sticking to my usual a little harder. But yes, wouldn't it be great if he could?

That said, all the gluten this weekend has affected me enough that it might be easier to say no going forward! You're absolutely right that the consequences are real.