Off-track -- Trying not to judge/preach


Recommended Posts

I had hand surgery January 31st. Thanks to all of you that offered support and suggestions to help me stay on track. What I thought would be 4 weeks off work ended up being 6. I cooked a lot and froze food prior to starting, so I was fairly well set up. I did pretty well staying on track the first three weeks with the exception of some dairy in coffee and a few "oh I deserve to have this [gourmet pop tart]" type of ventures. I have a history of candida overgrowth in my intestinal tract and was very concerned about the antibiotics and pain killers. I took the pain killers for only 5 days because I was feeling like a junkie (scratching, nodding off, etc.). The antibiotics I took must have been pretty crazy because the warning label stated you could get diarrhea that continued for months. I did not get that. Instead the pain killers made me constipated.


Weeks 2 and 3 I did really well with about 90 minute walks in the mountains/hills where I live. I felt pretty good considering I'd had surgery. Then a friend came to town. I had a night out with lots of alcohol (I don't know why I did that). We had brunch and I ate a few things I can't tolerate. Still not so bad.


Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that the flora in my gut was off from the antibiotics. I started having sugar cravings, but couldn't see that's what it was. I indulged a bit more. Then I came down with what felt like a mild stomach flu for 5 days. Had 3 good days and over-indulged in off-road foods again. Then I got a full-blown nasty cold. I'm still not completely well. I have a cough I can't get rid of, but it's only occasional. I did my usual Chinese Medicine (acupuncture and herbs) that helped a lot. I returned to my job, that I hate, and further indulged. I had no idea how exhausting it would be to go back to work and get back on track with exercise, prepping meals, etc. I ended up eating at restaurants, etc. Work was stressful and depressing. Anyway, short version of the rest of this part of the story is, I've been eating like a crazy woman (cake, cupcakes, popcorn, bread, beer).  And while not a lot, it messes me up very quickly.  Still not fully over the cold, congested, fat, aching, and cranky.


So, my friend posted on Facebook saying she was going to lead a Paleo 30 day detox. I thought "what a great opportunity to reset my body with friends and friends of friends." Then she started sending out the rules and details. It's not Paleo. I don't even like that word, really, but it's what we use, right? She's saying it's a beginner Paleo detox and I really appreciate her intention to support people, but I'm thinking a portion of it is she's a rep for a company (one of those pyramid things) and she advises eating protein bars and protein powder from her company. She says agave and stevia are okay. She recommends eating hummus and other beans, brown rice, and limiting egg consumption to 1 per day. She recommends some seed oils. I'm not saying I'm an expert. Nor am I the Paleo Police. And now I've committed to doing it and I'm not a quitter. However, I feel as if someone is telling me the earth is flat. I'm struggling with keeping my mouth shut because I really want to say "No, this is not Paleo. You are not limiting things enough to heal."


I'm sure some of my bitterness about this is related to the huge amount of actual sugar I ate this week. (Too many parties at work.)


On a positive note, I'm basically going to treat it like a whole 30. I committed to a start date with them (today). I am back to sweat cycle two days a week and private pilates one day a week. My self-workouts for pilates are not back in place yet, but I'm mapping out a schedule this week with my master teacher holding me accountable to do those workouts. I also am going for an initial appointment for SuperSlow weight training because I'm 51 and need more weight-bearing. I'm thinking the reason I can't lose weight is related to not carrying enough muscle. I can't really afford much more $ on fitness, but I feel it's crucial for me to try this. What used to work just isn't working for me.


Huge insight from time off work is that the stress is killing me. I was already pretty aware of this. My job is stressful and doesn't pay enough to allow me to reduce stressors otherwise (i.e., have a housekeeper, etc.). Not sure what to do with that. I know the stress is making me fat. Sitting is the new smoking. Stress is a major factor for me. I do plenty to reduce stress in my life as much as I can (therapy, study with a Taoist master/life coach, meditate every day, exercise, relax). Changing jobs is the next step, which I'll try to do this summer. In the meantime, I still want to feel better.


Anyway, I don't know if I need anything from you people beyond this vent. I know small improvements in diet can help people, particularly if they eat really poorly now. My problem is that no level of strictness seems to allow me to lose much weight. I'm 20 pounds over where I was 3 years ago. I'm sad about that. A certain part of me thinks it's because I'm 51. I have a big trip coming up in May and after that I'm really going to start looking at macronutrients, perhaps get blood tests/allergy tests to help determine where the problems are.


So, mostly I just want to say, I love you people that take this as seriously as I do. I love that you are able to do this and support one another. ISWF is my number one favorite Paleo book. (I've read a few and lots of blogs.) This community is the best thing that has happened to me in years. Thank you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd drop out of that faux Paleo thing immediately.  It sounds nasty.  Just do another Whole30.  Really.


I understand the job stress causing weight gain and keeping weight loss from happening ALL too well. 


You've done great, you want a reset now, just do a Whole30.  :wub:

Link to post
Share on other sites

As someone who had an unsustainable lifestyle/job for quite a few years, if you know the job doesn't meet your goals, make that your primary priority :)


You're not quitting if you have higher standards than the faux-paleo plan, you're upgrading :) Exit the group, watching it will probably stress you out. A good friend will understand. Not-good friends aren't really friends :)


Stress -> cortisol

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you so much. Your support and kind words just brought me to tears. I was just journaling about my day yesterday and the frustration I have with the misuse of the terminology. It did, however, give me a date to start clean eating again. I have gratitude for that. But yesterday I almost went off on on a diatribe because one woman said she only wanted to eat one egg because of cholesterol concerns. I realized I didn't have the energy for the conversation. It's not my job to teach these people.


I partly joined the group because I have a good friend that wanted to join it. She has very serious auto-immune disease issues and has been vegetarian for years and years. She nearly died on us a few years ago. I never tell people how to live (thankfully I've done enough work on myself to get rid of that self-righteousness). If people are curious about my lifestyle, I answer their questions to the best of my ability. My ill friend recently decided to give a modern paleo/primal diet a try. In 3 weeks of less-than-full compliance, she is feeling better, less pain, and has lost 10 lbs. She is even considering eating meat again. I've been supporting her with texting, phone calls, emails, sending her links to information, Whole30, etc. I thought this would be another way to support her and help myself. However, even she asked me yesterday if I had a clue why this group was called "Paleo detox" since it wasn't Paleo. I told her I think our mutual friend is just misinformed. But again, I'm not the Paleo Police and I'm not here to educate on that level, when so many lovely people (like Whole9) with much more knowledge are already doing it SO WELL.


So, I think I may drop out of the Facebook group. I am getting some benefits from it -- I started a food/mood journal. I think that's crucial for me at this point because I want to start examining macronutrients to see if I can get this excess 20 lbs off. I may just stop reading most of the posts since they seem to be triggering a lot of emotions for me. I'm basically easing into a Whole30 at this point.


I agree about the job. I have a 15-day vacation coming up May 1st (London, Paris, Palm Springs). Mostly I'm just trying to readjust to being back at work, get back to healthy eating and full workouts, and get ready for my trip. Still lots to research and plan. I made a commitment at the beginning of the year that I would tackle the job change when I got back from my vacation. So that's the plan.


Thanks again! This forum has saved me more times than I can say!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to thank you again. Only a few minutes after I posted above, I realized I'm just stressing myself further. Whole30 is familiar to me, doesn't make me feel deprived, and I already have support here. I don't need "the new thing." I'm comfortable with the old thing. I emailed my friend and told her I stopped the notifications from the group and explained how it was triggering me to read the posts. I expressed gratitude for the things I took away from it. And then I signed up for Whole30 Daily emails with a start date of tomorrow. So, I'll be talking to you people more in the next few weeks, I'm sure. :wub:


Now off to my kitchen to prep food for the week. Thankfully I bought a ton of lovely foods yesterday. Pulled pork coming up!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes! Agreed! And my ill friend is also going to loosely continue with that group, but is signing up for her first Whole30 to be my Whole30 buddy! I'm very excited to have a companion on the journey!

Link to post
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.