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It's day 31: I'm scared even if I don't want to be.


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So I made it.  This is my second Whole30 and it was incredible.  I've been reading about others and their problems and I feel for them, but darn it, I'm 100% kitty riding a unicorn on a cloud of homemade mayo.  And not only now, pretty much the entire time.  Tiger blood.  The moment I committed all the way to the 30th day, I felt great.  So knowing my past and knowing I can get into some bad habits with food relationships I'm left feeling scared of food.  Do I eat the rice?  Is corn okay? Will a glass of wine wake the sugar dragon?  Maybe I just won't have it and therefore I can avoid having either a bad reaction or worse, a binge session.   I want to live my life and make the right choices, but what if I don't trust myself?  Without rules I make excuses as to why I deserve one thing or another.  But with Whole30 rules, it's like a blanket: "Oh, sorry, I'm whole30-ing right now, I'll go out to that crappy restaurant another time".  "Thanks anyway, I brought my lunch".  "No, I don't mind you have a glass of wine, I'll have one in a couple weeks".  Sigh, how do I relax and set reasonable goals I can actually meet?

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