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Struggling with not counting calories...

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I'm currently on Day 3. I started this because I want to cure my broken relationship with food. I've had bulimia for far too long and am struggling with not weighing myself and not counting calories. I worry I'm eating too much fat cooking so much and using cooking oils and using nuts as an accent piece. I make sure to eat lots of lean proteins and fruits and vegetables, but for some reason, the fat content of the oils freak me out. I'm trying not to count calories or weigh myself but it is SO HARD. I've been obsessing over my weight and calories for years and it is my biggest struggle.

In my conscious mind I know healthy fats like the kind in olive oil are healthy and necessary but my bulimic mind is freaked out so bad. Any suggestions? Any other ED warriors out there?

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