Dealing with Family gatherings...

[Melany Anderson]

Well at day 5 yesterday I had some mashed potatoes at a family dinner. I am back to day 1 today and am pretty stressed out. I have baby showers to attend the next two weekends. I am fine skipping cakes and everything, but I feel weird just not eating anything that is served. I don't need to lose weight so I don't want to tell my family I am on a diet. How do I explain it? Should I just bring a lara bar in case I can't eat anything. I just feel rude not eating what is served.

[Taylor Herman]

I've had similar issues at family gatherings. Instead of mash potatoes, I often find it hard to stay clear of my grandma's famous mac and cheese!

As for your post, I think there are two issues--the family gatherings and the other social gatherings. For me, I feel more comfortable telling my family about my Whole30 experience. There is a wealth of information on this site that you should look at (see: http://whole9life.com/2011/09/nutrition-in-60-seconds/). Basically, all I tell my family when they ask me why I'm not eating [insert non-compliant food here] is that I'm trying to feed my body the most nutrient dense foods possible so that my body and mind are happy.

Now, I look at the social gatherings as a whole other animal because often times you will meet people there that you don't know and you don't have to explain yourself to everyone if you don't want to. I would recommend that you either eat a compliant meal beforehand or perhaps offer to bring something compliant? (That is, if you know the hosts very well) I've brought my own food on a couple of occasions and if people ask, I usually just say that I have a stomach sensitivity and I wanted to make sure I enjoyed the event without feeling sick.

Hope that helped a bit. Good luck!

[Renee]

I find the easiest way to eat at a social event, is to bring yout own food. Don't insist on special dietary needs, instead, ask if you can bring something really delicious you've recently tried and would like to share. That way, you have something to eat, hostess is generally happy because it means less work for her, and you get to sneak in a healthy meal that won't raise eyebrows.

When I am offered a non-compliant food, there are different things I would say to explain why I don't eat it: 1) I'm doing a food intolerence program (for people I see often, but don't want to go into details); 2) I have food allergies (for people I won't see again); 3) I don't eat processed food or 4) I'm doing the Whole30 (for close friends and family who know what the program is and why I'm doing it)

[Melany Anderson]

Yeah.. I don't mind telling my family I am not eating, but this weekend is a shower for my hubby's side of the family and I feel like they will think it's rude of me not to eat what is served.

[HealingWithin]

With family, we have told both sides of our family what we do and don't eat. This way of eating is what is best for my body and my health conditions and they have, over time, learned to respect that. We do bring dishes to family events and often times host as they love the way I cook and not having to cook. My MIL really loves to eat at our house because she says her stomach never hurts afterward.

With people who are strangers, I always find that a "no thank you" works well. If they probe more, they are the ones being rude . And wth that said, you won't ever be able to control what other people think about you and all you can control is how you see the situation and how you respond to their inquiry. It's OK to put you on the top of your priority list and eat in the way that serves you and your body.

[Renee Lee]

Yeah.. I don't mind telling my family I am not eating, but this weekend is a shower for my hubby's side of the family and I feel like they will think it's rude of me not to eat what is served.

Melany, if you were a veg*n, would you think it was rude to not eat what was served? Similarly, if you had serious food allergies, would you risk a reaction out of politeness?

[EmilyB456]

I tell my family that I'm doing a Whole30, and that I feel much better when eating this way. They want that for me. I don't have to go into any more detail.

For others, I say "My doctor suggested I try this," or, "I'm sorry, I'm really not feeling hungry at all, but I'd love a glass of water, thanks." I've also had great success bringing yummy, compliant food to share, as others have suggested.

For me, it was my own fear of being perceived as rude that always held me back. Other people don't care as much about what I'm eating as I do, that's for sure!