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LadyLisbette last won the day on April 11

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About LadyLisbette

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    Sierra Nevada Foothills
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    Hiking, Yoga, Reading, Massage, Traditional Chinese Medicine

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  1. I'm going to try the tarragon on the brussels, that sounds good. Today I did all the food shopping (and a kind of stressful and urgent hunt for a new water heatert) and I'm excited to make the cream of mushroom soup tomorrow, and also a lentil soup. Oh yes, fortunately my regular grocer carries dried shitakes, but there is also a good Asian market where I live, and I am so grateful. While I was at it I stocked up on dried legumes. I absolute love lima beans. I don't use them because hubs doesn't like them, but I'm going to look out for your Christmas limas for something I can bogart. I'm going to try out more vegetarian cooking and see if I might work towards cutting my animal protein by a third or even half. I guess I'll find out how that feels. I used to make a delicious sunflower seed burger, so I'll be looking for that recipe, too, though at this point I'm sure I could wing it from memory and it would be very forgiving. I also happened upon a restaurant supply I didn't know about, and I have my eye on a new soup pot. I have a heavy bottomed stainless 6 qt pot, and an enameled cast iron 8 qt pot too that is very beat up. I learned on that pot that you can't bang your wooden spoon on the side of the pot or it gets chipped. Also hubs insists on a chore boy when I'm not looking, and it's just terribly scratched up, and though I know it's not unsafe to use it: I want a new pot!! I'm not sure what to do with the old one, but recycle it to the garden. Any ideas? Thanks for all the pro tips on the cabbage and the fermenting. My store bought stuff surprisingly has nothing added, though it is a little dry. Maybe I'll try the fermenting again this winter. I'll have to go through my pantry to find the jars, and the Kraut Source gear I bought at one point and only used once. Sounds like you had a good day - morning movement, good sleep, no snacking, yay! Today my tummy was just fine even though I had coffee. I remembered seeing that Chipotle was a good place to get compliant meals, and I remembered that I enjoyed going there once years before W30, so I popped in for lunch today during my errands. I had a delicious salad with black beans, grilled chicken, grilled onions and peppers (made me think of you!), mild salsa, guacamole, a sprinkling of queso, and the house dressing. I can guess that the oil is probably canola, but otherwise it was very delicious and satisfying, and gave me a boost to have a new place to eat out when I'm in town. I may have mentioned it's slim pickings. I'm hoping that it was the magnesium, and now that I've eliminated that I might be free and in the clear. We'll see. Roasted garlic sounds so good - I haven't made that in an age. I used to spread it on artisan bread like creamy butter. What do you do with it?
  2. Wow, all those krauts sound so impressive! Curried cauliflower, mmm. Curry is just what I'm craving now. We went up to the park for some day hiking on Saturday and caught some dinner afterwards and the soup was another lentil soup, this one with coconut curry. The curry was subtle but really nice with the all indications are pointing to curry right now, and I can't wait to get cooking (hello Wednesday, I'll be ready). I really like marjoram, too! The other herb I'm liking in recent years that is kind of new for me is tarragon. Do you use that much? It has a bright, mild sweetness to it. I like to use it in MJ's shrimp patties recipe, along with the dried chives. That's on the menu soon, too. I am not familiar with Rancho Gordo, but I will look out for it. I like your approach a lot, adding lots of veg to the bean soup, and a little meat, too...what kind of beans did you use in your soup? I'm going to have to take another stab at making sauerkraut soon! I tried it once and it was just meh. I think it didn't ferment enough, does that sound right? Now, I love to prep and chop plant matter, but I've noticed that cabbage brings out a little OCD in me. For my coleslaw I've been using store bought pre-chopped/sliced cabbage...can I use that stuff for sauerkraut? Is this a disgrace? Do you chop it or slice it? How thick or thin? Does it really matter? So many questions. Mysterious ferments... Are you making Nom Nom's instapot cream of mushroom soup? I have yet to make her magic mushroom powder....maybe next time I'm in a civilized urban area I'll go to Whole Paycheck and buy some LOL I don't have an Instapot, but that soup sounds really good, so I'm going to make my own version of that soon! Yum. So savory. Did you get an Instapot? I remember at one point you decided against it. If you have a non-Instapot shroom soup from Nom Nom, please share. (drool) Yay for getting motivated to clean up one's act! Me, too! I'm in solidarity with you. When I went in to clean the store yesterday I promised myself solemnly "no treats, not even an Rx Bar" and I prevailed! My tummy is wobbling again today pretty seriously (even with no eggs, no coffee...and what a waste of all that beautiful compliant cooking)...A nurse friend suggested today that I eliminate my supplements that have magnesium, so we'll see. Do you make your own ghee? I got our local grocer to carry it, so now I always buy it there to support her! Tonight's dinner was a tri-tip roast from Costco with a delicious non-compliant marinade...but it inspired me to get a plain tri-tip and give it a go - believe it or not, I've never cooked a tri tip before. I liked it, and it will make amazing leftovers for my salads. Next up lentil soup recipe hunting online, then bed. Good night!
  3. Happy Friday! We are taking today and tomorrow off - hubs will have Sunday off, too, but I'll work a half day. Aahh. Nice to get some down time. I finally got my cook up today! I just sat down to rest after working on basics and old favorites for several hours....I have chicken thighs marinating in gyros spices to skewer and BBQ later on. I made coleslaw, prepped vegetables for steaming, roasted a tray of brussels and carrots, then spice blends: a fresh batch of Lebanese 7-Spice blend, and a new one I've never tried before - also from Mel J - Sunrise Spice. Have you ever tried it? (Also have you seen their announcement of the new project? Exciting!) She had me at Catherine the Great ... then it was time for a double batch of my favorite chicken apple sliders, and so I used the Sunrise blend in place of the usual cinnamon. It's pretty tasty, but I still think that the simplicity of cinnamon can't be beat -next time I might try half cinnamon, half Sunrise. And finally, a batch of mayo. So, this is not the most elaborate cook up I've ever done, but I realized while working at my cutting board that it's been a long time since I devoted such time to my health. I am recovering from Spooky care, and then the stomach thing on top of it. I think I'm getting my MOJO back. And so, directly to your brilliant words, Yes! I'm doing pretty well with my focus on smaller portions. My breakfasts of late have been a bit off-road like your fettucini alfredo! -- a slice (or 2) of organic, super seedy bread, toasted, with a schmear of cream cheese, a half avocado, thinly sliced cucumber (micro greens when I can get them), and some nitrate free lunch meat, with loads of s/p and that has been pretty delicious. Since recovering from the bug I'm continuing to avoid coffee and eggs. My belly weebled and wobbled during this week a little bit, but the last 48 hours have been good. And with all the cooking, I am hopeful again, and even tackling the yard a little bit, with plans to execute my big plans...sooooon. Progress slow and sure. Once I feel the belly is solidly recovered I might try coffee again as that seemed to be okay. Making the Lebanese blend made me pine for scrambled eggs as I always put those two together, with a dollop of mayo. YUM. I might challenge myself with eggs again at some point, but my body-brain doesn't like the idea for now. How did your pastrami turn out? Are you happy with the spices? Also, is your face healing? If it wasn't the beans, any other suspects? I still haven't made soup yet, but last night we ate out and I had lentil soup with sausage and bacon that gave me some ideas. I always liked lentils, but I haven't cooked any since pre W30. Like you I would like to add that back in. At dinner I enjoyed a glass of red zine, slowly, that opened up so nicely, half a roll, half the baked potato with butter and a little sour cream, and some delicious pork tenderloin with a tomato/onion/mango? relish and all the vegetables on my plate. Pretty tasty. But now that I've cooked, it's back on the path! Hubs is exercising now to work off all he ate, and all that I offered him from my plate! Did you get your spices organized? I thought of you today when I dove in to my deep-storage of extra spices from bulk to refill the frequent flyers. BTW I had to look up boiled peanuts. I see it's a delicious southern snack! My mother was from the mid south, and I never heard of this. The photo I saw of the finished product reminded me of Boston Baked Beans because, of course, I'm a recovering candy junky. I think I will have to try boiled peanuts one day. = )
  4. Yes, I've been enjoying bone broth, and have lots on hand - I don't know about Kettle and Fire, but I picked up some organic chicken bone broth from Costco some time back, and am glad to have it! Thank you for the suggestion - I may not be out of the woods as I thought, or I'm back to my not-normal normal, so I'm being very careful. Your party sounds lovely! I was wondering where you were at with the peppers...I love that you are going to be able to enjoy the chile powder. I have a super fire-y Kashmiri chili powder that I just love, but I should switch it up and try some other varieties. Chili sounds good right now! So does soup, come to think of it, it's that time of year. I'm wanting to clean and organize my spice pantry, too, and the entire pantry and mud room area needs some energy. The whole house indoors and outdoors needs some energy, actually but I did get outside to do a lot of sweeping this morning, and to survey the areas I've been avoiding. Lots of errands, here goes....have a good day!
  5. Hi there, I'm back! Yikes, that was a trip I don't care to repeat. I picked up a stomach bug, not sure what kind. I managed to stay hydrated, though, and Sunday was the first day it felt safe to eat solid food, so I was back to work today. The lasting bummer, though, is that on day 3 or 4 my tinnitus spiked up real bad, so badly that my hearing is impaired and muffled. I think it was from acetaminophen that i took twice on Wed, and twice again on Thursday to treat headache. Puking your brains out does cause a headache. Now tinnitus. WOE. I saw the doctor about it today, and she finds my theory plausible. Woe. Woe. I didn't know, and now I will NOT be using acetaminophen or NSAIDS unless it's awfully severe, because this tinnitus really sucks. The doc said it can be very slow to go down. So again, I am calling on myself for patience and self care. Oh, no, we didn't lose power, and the only fires have been prescribed burns in the Park so that is something! How was your Italian themed party on Saturday? Sounds fun! I like what you all are doing in November to scale down! I think learning to lighten the load is a great skill, and an especially helpful one as we get older - let it Go, let it Go, right? I'll take notes from here and follow suit! ...books are a big one for us...hubs does not want to part with books, and I get it, but I could see doing a big purge. It's the family stuff that always gets me - what to do with all of that? Oh, I think popcorn popped in ghee is a fine treat! What else have you been cooking? Are your freezer goodies holding out? Holly, in a way getting a stomach bug and that radical 6 days of nothing but diluted Gatorade was kind of a re-set for me. I had hit a new all time low. Even though it is NOT fun to be sick, I let myself enjoy the feeling of lightness in my gut (even though it was also inflamed at the same time) and believe me, I have been searching my soul for what to do now. I'm thinking: smaller portions and keep the body moving! So because I had been too sick to cook or plan for what's next, I went right back into the frying pan of work with no idea what I would eat, and after my 9am doc appointment I picked up at the store salami, Ak Maks, micro greens (oh, craving something green) and a little tub of more-or-less decent guacamole. It held me for breakfast and lunch. At dinner I ate a salmon burger with a little homemade mayo and a pile of olives. I will be limping along like this tomorrow, too, and then shopping on Wednesday, and a cook up that night. Back in a W30 direction! Onward!!
  6. I'm so glad that your conference was so enjoyable, and that you escaped rain! Thank you for the Hafiz and also the Movnat wisdom. I love Hafiz but I have never seen that poem. They are both keepers!! It's been a rough few days and I am home sick today, but wanted to check in and welcome you back to routine. Re-entry can be hard, I understand. Wishing you centeredness and nourishment. I know that when I am sick it seems like I will never feel better again, but I'll pipe up again soon and get back to routine. Happy autumn!
  7. I'm so glad your appointment went well, and that she is savvy about our W30 ways, that's a boon! This is just a quick one to say bon voyage, and enjoy your conference! I didn't realize it was also a camping adventure, but that makes it even better...hope you don't get rain, but it won't be the hardest thing you've ever done, right? Happy Trails to you both!
  8. I like your strategy of keeping the new cats inside first to establish home and sense of place, that makes a lot of sense. That must have been a really hard move for you all. By chance there are a lot of available cats in our town right now, and a staffer who's on FB keeps showing us - lots of options. I guess we'll know when we are ready....also, I have a lunch date with a friend today at the sub shop so maybe I'll get some contact with Patches. More will be revealed, right? Congrats on getting caught up at work! A great feeling. Did the four mile walk spur you on to more movement? I got another hike in yesterday, and am about to go again now though with a slightly late start. I have compliant food prepared, and more ground chicken thawing. It occurs to me that the transition back to routine after the long weekend is going well - that's something! I am amazed to learn that it's not coffee that causes me problems (yep, must have been the eggs), so I am drinking a lot of coffee and enjoying the euphoria and speed quality. My plan is that once I have a solid exercise habit in place I will hold back, but for now, it's working for me, and fun...= ) I noticed that I've been out of mayo since we got home and I haven't made more or really missed it, so I might experiment with that, as I know that may be part of my problem...I'm trying to unlearn the W30 piece about not focusing on weight loss, since I'm not doing a W30, and exploring FF. I do need to lose weight, so while I'm not obsessing or self-hating, I have to be honest with myself. I feel like I'm in a place of mentally letting go of old ways of thinking (with food, and lots of other things, too), and making up something new for myself, though I don't know what it will be, exactly. Does that make sense? (maybe it's the coffee, I"m tripping after all, but something is happening)
  9. Is it possible that the doctor can feel like a partner in your health goals? Maybe I'm naive (I know I can be) but that is my wish for you. No one responds well to feeling judged and scolded, and I know that's what the feeling of "lecture" is for my part. So I invite you to be kind to yourself. You are an amazing woman! And we've done it before, we can do it again! Meanwhile, I really relate to what you said about being discouraged with your weight. Last week I really wanted some new clothes to wear at MJF, so I bought some new pants, two pairs, and one of them is the next size up. Waaah. The other one is the same size I've been wearing, but I know it's cut generously. Still, it felt good to wear clothes that didn't feel tight. I did my best to walk in beauty and not be self conscious about my weight as I walked back and forth across the county fairgrounds ALL weekend, while psyching myself to turn over a new leave as soon as I got home. In the dressing room I caught a glimpse of back fat I didn't have months ago. Then I saw an amazing Carnival style dancer, and she had the same-looking kind of back I saw in the mirror, and that changed my self view. I realize that our self perception and self talk is really powerful. How can you activate a small change that sets up some momentum? We know our bodies respond to the energy we put in. I know you're overwhelmed at work and that sucks, and I don't know how you can work around that part. Still, today is the first of a new month, and I invite you to join me in having a good day- just for today. Then tomorrow we keep going. One day at a time. This morning I got a 45 minute hike, and I pushed myself. I stretched (in the living room sans blue tarps) for 20 minutes and then had breakfast. I had made turkey hash with gingerbread spices and froze it before we left town. So I had that on artisan olive toast. (I snapped it off, frozen, as I learned from you!) So for now, bread, until I can get to the grocery store..and I'm okay with that. For now! I'm looking ahead at the three months that are left until the new year, and I am going to cruise into better health and a slimmer body, even if it is a slow process. I keep telling myself that i don't have to go crazy with movement or the food part, nothing radical, just doing what I know I have to do, with a sense of food freedom, and self trust. We can do this, Holly! I'm aiming for 5 days a week of hiking, even if it's a short one. I CAN now that it's gloriously cool and the air is clean. After posting last night I did a lot of reading online, and I'm thinking that it might be cruel to remove Patches from her community. Also, what if she tried to return, she would certainly be in danger along 5 miles of highway. I see that the shelters really encourage people to adopt working cats who would otherwise be hard to adopt, so that might be a better route. I will pursue that and see what else I learn.
  10. Hiya Holly! Another was a good one. I'll re-cap some of the highlights, but first a story from when we were leaving town on Friday. We stopped for lunch at the gourmet sub shop as usual. In the week since Spooky died, I've had swimming in my head that "your pet finds you" and "find your pet in your dreams first" stuff I've heard just doesn't happen to me. Or it's been so long I can't recall how this magic works. Then as soon as we sat down for lunch outside behind the sub shop, a young calico cat came strutting right across the yard area, right. to. ME. We saw her coming. I couldn't believe my eyes. She jumped right on the bench next to me and purred and rubbed at me. Time stopped for a second!!!! Of course she wanted the chicken in my sandwich. Of course. But she came to ME! The owner remarked that everyone falls in love with her, but no one wants to take her from her nursing kittens. We named her Patches, and remarked about her all weekend. There's a bunch of feral cats there, but for some reason she is tame. We've thought about bringing her home with some kittens when they are old enough, or waiting until after she is pregnant again and bringing her home at that time, and having a house full of cats, then getting her fixed. She's kind of long haired, and has the sweetest white paws which seem disproportionately large compared to her petite body. I wonder if early pregnancy stunted her growth, and if she'll grow again when kittens are weaned. We're not making any decisions, but we want to visit her again, and any move we make will have to be with the blessing of the sub shop folks, I still my heart. = ) This week I'm back to good food and fitness, mark my words!!!
  11. Whaat? What kind of a snake is it? YIKES! Is it something "the cat dragged in"? Details, please. Tomato tired. Oh, that makes sense! Well the weekend is almost here again (whoosh) - hope you can get some good rest! Good that your brought Ling Ling with you! I realize that there are many different things that one can do with ashes, and there is no right or wrong, really. My dear stepdad really has a hard time letting go, and he still has the ashes of the two family dogs at the end of his marriage with my mom (before I took over her care), Mom'sashes, and her father's ashes...Mom used to keep Grandad's ashes in the car and talk to him when she missed him = ) I used to think it was "wrong" to hold on to ashes...and always wished we could release them as a family. Then I met a woman in hospice care and she talked about relations inheriting ashes down through generations, and I let it all my "shoulds" go...for my own purposes I would like to lovingly scatter Mom's ashes according to her wishes, but it's a very sensitive subject with her ex, and I would rather let him have his way....hopefully I will get to outlive my stepdad and these things will fall into place. In Patti Smith's book Just Kids she talked about handling her best friend's ashes and described the texture, and I think she even tasted them...and it strikes me as very intimate and brave. It's kind of nice to have a friend who worries over my affairs. I know it's your nature, and I don't wish you any anguish or suffering, but it is endearing xo I do so like the idea of generations of cats overlapping. What have you found to work well when introducing cats to each other? Does age seem to matter, or personality? Do you play it by ear? I fancy the SPCA's recommendation of letting them smell and sense each other through a closed door so that when the door is opened they are already acquainted, but I don't have any actual practice in that area. A local woman who I am thinking of working with in therapy is a Jungian and we have talked some about dreams, as I am looking for a therapist who can help me sort through my dreams. I'm rather like a developmental five year old, and tend to interpret things literally, though I am learning to branch out from that place. She said that her pets sometimes come to her in dreams first, "I met my Shadow in a dream"...she was referring to a dog LOL! In other news, nothing like trying on new clothes to face the music of one's weight. Yeah, I'm back to best practices!
  12. I must say I wondered about (in our case unidentified) pet burials, myself...did you know about the pet cemetery because of grave markers, or verbal disclosure? In truth, we are all walking over all kinds of remains all the time, aren't we. I'm so glad for the kind man who took care of you at the crematorium - that makes such a big difference. Maybelle's paw prints on the refrigerator! Oh! That is the most charming thing ever, and I would never remove them, either. What a beautiful, ghostly reminder. There is a name for this kind of reminder...I'll have to noodle on it and get back to you...I was just reading about the paw prints that remain, or a voice on a recording...fingerprints, photos, a stray hair, etc... Turns out we have very rocky land here, too, which should not have been a surprise but it was in our stunned state. Hubs spent a lot of time and labor digging that grave. I tried to take a shift but didn't have the grit to dig out the granite rocks. Instead I brought whisky. We didn't get quite as much depth as we wanted, but carefully put the rocks back and we feel she is well-protected from any curious beasts. Sigh. I sympathize with your you and your husband! Do you remember when we lost power in December, and it got so cold, and after two days, and my husband fighting on the phone with the power company, the cat began trembling with cold. Just as I suggested that we should start looking for a pet-friendly hotel the power came back on. Cold as she was, she wouldn't let me hold her for very long, that's why she had the red blanket on her in the photo i sent you, and we buried her in it. It feels comforting to share about it with you. I know you get it with immediacy. And yes, S. sounds so much like your sweet black Chow! These creatures teach us that it's okay to have limits! (Still, I do love and crave a snuggle bunny cat...I guess I should be careful what I wish for.) Your weekend: the best laid plans, right? Do you feel that it was better that way? The cooking sounds good. Sometimes the simplest/fewest ingredient preparation can be so very delicious. Have you been cooking less because work has kept you busier and more occupied than usual? Don't let me be a bad influence on you! (I know, it's not all about me...) I'm psyching myself for this "relaxed" period to be part of my overall education, and since I posted here last, I realized I don't have to wait until after MJF to get my act together! A girl does need green things in the fridge, though.... So tonight I will prep and marinate chicken thighs in some gyros-type seasonings, and tomorrow night I will fire up the BBQ for the first time in ages. After S. died, Hubs moved a large Amazon delivery box that we had been using to block her way to a corner of the room...and lo and behold, among other things there were my flat-edged BBQ skewers that I had lost track of. So I think I'm going to like these skewers. I'll pick up enough veg to get us through the week and just keep it simple. Thank you for the words of wisdom about enjoying the weekend...and you are right -- it's the homecoming that will be hard. If I'm honest, I thought she would go this week and never need the pet-sitter...I just didn't think it would be so soon.
  13. "Fortune presents gifts not according to the book"...and so I experienced the surprise of my taking it much harder than I thought...and I don't know what I expected of my husband who I have not known to experience grief before, but he is taking it better than I thought, and showed/shows such love and tenderness. I think I love him even more now. Oh, we are both missing her so much. It seems like there is part of the brain that doesn't get the memo. And so my husband's pick of a grave site is comforting - right out the dining room window we can see the corner of the garden bed where she is. We put some of Mom's garden art deer to look over her. It will take a long time. It's a wonder that anyone ever gets a second pet after losing the first one, isn't it? Hubs has said that it couldn't have gone better. Like Maybelle, no stranger danger. And he quoted back to me a hospice truism that people tend to die the way they lived: and so Spooky got her beloved solitude...she liked her affections brief, in between copious alone time. I'm sure you will relate to this, but it's so weird, every time you come home, leave home, go to bed, get out of bed...that absence is so wrong. We think we'll get a couple of cats in the not too distant future, but I need a break...I haven't even finished the cleaning yet, but it will wait until after jazz. Oh, and indoor/outdoor with a cat door like yours, one that we can lock at night. We like this idea. Also after jazz I need to clean up my act with food. Thank you in advance for being here for that big hot mess. I've been eating sandwiches, and I'm starting to sense a bit of inflammation. Hey, how was your home-alone weekend? Did you get to chill? Katy Bowman movement sessions? Scallops?
  14. Spooky has gone over to the other side. She was purring one moment, and 30 minutes later she was gone. I was at work, and Hubs was in the other room, but when he found her she was still warm. If she struggled, we didn't see it. She had her chin resting on Hubs' shoes as per usual in recent months. R.I.P Spooky, and look for Maybelle in the happy hunting grounds.
  15. The lists! That was the other thing that brought you to my mind while reading this book I'm reading it as part of a kind of community book club - and book clubs are something that I don't usually feel drawn to AT ALL - but it's put on by our local Friends of Library, the books are free, meant to share, and there are a bunch of programs around it including some Native locals who will talk about local trees, and a visit from the author. I'm reading it on the author's promise that it contains hope for the future re climate change. And she is big into Lists, like you = ) Nice work, I'm proud of you for what you do at work. Great that you sailed through all the great live music, even on school nights! Is the movement program, and/or the CBD helping you sleep well? I don't know if I mentioned it but I'm on a cocktail of valerian root capsules and CBD together, which is really helping me more than one of those things in isolation. And as if I didn't already know I'm sleeping soundly, my mate is reporting that I'm snoring like a lumber mill (blush). I'm not sorry, though. Your recent cooking and menu plan sound really good. I like your plan to set yourself up so you don't have to leave the hill. Will you pamper yourself? Will there be time to lounge and read, it sounds like? Sounds good! I have a 2 lb bag of shrimp in the freezer and I think I will make lemon garlic shrimp with it, as it may be easier than making shrimp cakes as I usually do. I'm still winging it with elements of paleo fare, and off-roading, but I'm reigning myself in gradually with the help of 5 days in a row of morning hikes. This is a good feeling, and I'm gathering back in some self regard. I've been in a place of throwing out the rules and letting myself off the hook for so much cooking...though I am craving the benefit of that effort and investment of time. Not sure where I'm going with this, but it feels good to relax the rules, and self-expectations. Speaking of food, Spooky has been gradually eating and drinking less in recent days, and is no longer interested in the fresh cream. She is also surprising us with extra LOUD purring and meowing in morning greeting. So robust. I'm making an effort to spend quality time on the floor with her, even if I don't think I have time. Though she's not a lap cat, her affection is there, and I know she has needs for closeness as she so often purrs when we are nearby. I guess the road goes up and down as it gradually goes down...and every down slope one wonders if this is it, and so far she has proven "no" this isn't it yet.