How do you handle situations where it is impossible to be 100% compliant?


lilypad

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I am not talking about dinner out with friends, where I can make a choice or ask questions of the server. I am thinking more, business dinners, or company functions where I need to participate and it would be incredibly frowned upon to do anything other than order direct from the menu and smile at the client.

Do you just do the best you can and know you are going to have some things that are not completely Whole30? Should that extend the period of the Whole 30?

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Just some thoughts. I often have working breakfasts, but my job is pretty casual, so I don't know if these will work for you:

order only coffee or tea

order Whole30 compliant items off the sides menu

don't ask the server to change the menu, but just don't eat the non-compliant items

apologize for not eating but say you have to monitor your food closely for health reasons, still tip for taking up a seat

go the steak-potatoes-salad route and don't eat the potato or salad dressing (or croutons, etc)

It's my understanding that if you have things that aren't W30 compliant, you can mess-up the "reset" of your system, so yes, I think you may need to start over or extend your W30.

Good luck! In this day and age it's hard for me to understand individual food choices not being respected. What do the people in your company with diabetes, peanut allergies, gluten-intolerance, dairy intolerance, shellfish allergies, etc. do?

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I am definitely going to be as good as I can...order steak and vegetable or whatever sounds the most compliant. I just don't want to get into special cooking methods and such. I am already going to get a hard time for the no alcohol.

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i'd say hands down the most difficult thing for me on whole30 was eating out in a restaurant with others--even if they're friends. made me feel horribly high-maintenance. i actually had people i considered friends not hang out with me because of the food rules and, more importantly, the no-alcohol (even though i was super-subtle about it all--trying to just keep it totally to myself and not make a big deal). it was hard and it hurt. but it also clarified some things for me so far as certain relationships were concerned.

even now, since i've kept to the whole30 diet for months except for rare exceptions, ordering my way around a menu can be terribly annoying to anyone with me--or, at the very least, makes them feel stressed and uncomfortable. so i tend to eat out rarely, and, when i do eat out, just avoid the rolls (though i'll eat the butter!) and order things that would be compliant if it weren't for the sauces/cooking methods.

still, next time i do a full-on whole30, i'll go back to being an insufferable, high-maintenance bore if i go out. and i'll just have to sit with that again and examine, once more, why i let others' preoccupation with what i'm eating bother me so much.

good luck.

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re alcohol: club soda with lime? That way you "have a drink?"

yeah, i usually did/do something along those lines....generally sparkling water with lime. sometimes got fancy and stuck an olive in it. usually took people at least an hour to catch on (if they didn't already know what was up).

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Thank you Dana! I thankfully have some really understanding friends, so the only time I am going to have an issue is with work functions. I work in a male dominated environment, so I try to not appear high maintenance if I can help it. I still get *jokes* about my "12 week vacation" (i.e. maternity leave). Definitely stealing the club soda with lime idea! :)

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Eating out has not been fun. I've tried to avoid it. I'm on Day 28 and I had to ask my friend the other day, why haven't you wanted to hang out in the past 28 days? To which she replied, "well you're eating all weird and you won't even drink 1 glass of wine, so it's just not going to be fun." Wow. So I guess I'm only fun when I'm drinking wine. I had to call her out on that.

Aside from that, today I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered a steamed stir-fry with chicken, no rice, no sauce. Half way through the meal (as I got to the bottom of the plate), I noticed .... OIL (and I didn't even have to ask if it was olive or coconut because I knew it was neither). What am I going to do at that point? Send it back? I didn't find it reasonable to make a stink about it at that point. I've stuck to the program throughout the 28 days to the best of my knowledge, but I'm sure there were a few other times eating out where something has not been 100%.

I've still lost weight, seen improvements, etc. If I do this again though for another 30 days, I think I would just avoid restaurants all together unless I knew for sure what I was getting. I typically ask a ton of questions when I order out, but this one just slipped right by me. Doh!

Aside from that, Easter was a bit of a challenge. I have a new boyfriend who's family invited us over for Easter. I've only met them one other time. He told them that we decided to cook at home and will visit afterward and explained my eating situation. Well of course when I showed up it was 20 questions and then some. "Why are you dieting?" "You already look thin". "Is That HEALTHY?" etc. (Not to mention the best one that came from my mom of all people when I started Day 1- "I'm concerned you will not be eating enough fiber." The best advice I have found in terms of people's reactions is to tell them that I have have lactose intolerance that runs in the family (truth) and I'm doing a 30 day eating plan to eliminate foods to see what I have sensitivities, allergies, or an intolerance to. That seems to generate the best response.

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dug up this post from when i did a january whole30 (i was participating in a MDA forum thread on whole30 at the time):

yesterday managed to continue on with no slip-ups at my first party while on whole30. it was less challenging than expected...actually, it wasn't really challenging at all, just interesting and revealing.

to my surprise, i didn't feel like drinking even though surrounded by people drinking quite a lot for many hours--it was a bday party after all, and if not for this diet i probably would've joined in! i drank sparkling water in a glass with olives and lime throughout the night, so it took some people a little while to catch on that i wasn't drinking alcohol--and i'm pretty sure that made some people uncomfortable...worried about judgment and all that (however needlessly). i did get some slack from two friends for not drinking and for being on a weird diet, though to their credit, they at least held off until they were pretty far gone (at which point, one tried to force-feed me alcohol, but i prevailedsmile.gif. still, sucked a little being the boring, non-party, high-maintenance girl (though i actually wasn't high-maintenance and tried to be as discreet and private about it all as possible). while there was absolutely no judgment against others involved, i did feel an objective sense of: oh, i'm soooo glad i won't feel like "that" tomorrow morning....been there before and abhor the day-after effects of drinking so much (even if not hungover) that they are a MAJOR deterrent.

the food part was interesting as well. i was definitely not at a loss for good food to eat--lots of delicious meat. to my surprise, i didn't even crave a piece of what looked like an amazing bday cake. but i love sweets, and noticed myself making a conscious decision not to crave it or even want it...again, very interesting, since recognizing craving as a choice and then acting on that choice in the desired/planned way (whether with cake or alcohol) is a huge revelation for me.

also interesting, at the start of the party in the kitchen preparing the food, to talk with a couple of women i hadn't met before. because i'm small and thin, they seemed physically unable to hear or process the fact that i could eat meat. with one woman, we literally spent several minutes going in circles, in a conversation that sounded like this:

me: i eat meat and veggies

her: oh, that's how you stay so thin. so you can't eat meat. that dish is ok--oh, wait, no, you can't eat it; it has meat.

me: i eat meat and veggies

her: oh, so you're a vegetarian. you can't eat meat

me: i eat meat and veggies

[repeat, with slight variations x5]

one more thing i should add to this: people kept referring to what i was doing/eating/avoiding as alternately a "cleanse" or "atkins". my strategy has been to emphasize/say this: "basically i eat lots of good, whole meat/fish/fats/veggies". if they want more info, i say, "sometimes a little fruit and minimal nuts; no processed or refined foods." if they want still more, i add the "don'ts" (don't eat dairy/grains/added sugars/alcohol/legumes).

typically, the person's eyes glaze over somewhere in this conversation and i realize they aren't actually hearing what i'm saying. at the end they'll say something along the lines of: "so how long do you have to be on your cleanse?"

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me: i eat meat and veggies

her: oh, that's how you stay so thin. so you can't eat meat. that dish is ok--oh, wait, no, you can't eat it; it has meat.

me: i eat meat and veggies

her: oh, so you're a vegetarian. you can't eat meat

me: i eat meat and veggies

[repeat, with slight variations x5]

typically, the person's eyes glaze over somewhere in this conversation and i realize they aren't actually hearing what i'm saying. at the end they'll say something along the lines of: "so how long do you have to be on your cleanse?"

This is HILARIOUS. Love it!

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