How to talk to servers

[RGlove]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm on day 16 and have eaten out twice in the past two weeks, doing it again on Saturday for my mother's birthday celebration. So I just want to know how everyone goes about talking to servers. Is saying you can't eat dairy or gluten enough? I tell them I have an allergy so they are careful. I'll probably be getting fish and veggies of some sort.

 

Any other tips? I want to be able to ask for what I want simply without having TOO many requests.

 

Thanks much!

[missmary]

First, if you don't have an allergy, don't say you do. Good restaurant kitchens take allergies very seriously (like stuff gets thrown out, whole areas of the kitchen are cleaned, everything gets upended), and out of respect for them I try to be clear about how extreme they need to be. Typically, I preface my requests with a light-hearted comment about how difficult I am, and then I ask a bunch of questions, and encourage them to check with the kitchen if they don't know the answer. Sometimes there is something that seems close. If I'm not currently doing a whole30 I'll say "I'm not eating gluten, dairy or soy, do you think this is a good choice/could be modified for me?" if NOTHING seems right, I'll again say "I'm not eating gluten, dairy or soy" and then ask if they can ask the chef for a recommendation. Sometimes I'm offered something completely off menu doing this and that's pretty cool. It is helpful if you can be satisfied with anything compliant and not be super picky with preferences in addition to the restrictions. 

 

During a whole30, it's a bit more complicated, and it might make sense to say "I"m doing an elimination diet and I can't have grains, dairy, soy, sugar or legumes" or "do you have any plain protein and vegetables without any sauces or oil?" It is usually easy to take part of one dish and combine it with part of another (burger without a bun on top of salad, for example), so think ingredients and combinations as you look at the menu.

 

Usually in the end they will say "oh! that wasn't so bad!" or something like that. I always ALWAYS make sure to thank them for looking out for me with the kitchen, etc. It's hard work and I want to make sure they know I appreciate it.

[Guest]

I second the elimination diet explanation.   I generally look at the menu ahead and call to speak with a manager.  This usually ends up with the name of a kitchen manager or head chef that I can talk to the day that I come in.  I almost always end up with a protein cooked in a dry pan (or olive oil if they have it) and steamed veggies or veggies also cooked in a dry pan or compliant oil.  I recently discovered that gluten free means they clean the grill, but add soybean oil back and I find that learning how meats are grilled is the key.  Also, making sure they aren't finished with butter is important.  I tend to bring my own dressing and fats. And, I tip very well for being so difficult.

[GFChris]

In addition to all the wonderful advice from missmary and Nico, here is the Whole30 dining out article: http://whole9life.com/2012/11/dining-out-whole30/

[praxisproject]

If it's a place you want to go to regularly, it's worth seeing if they can come up with some menu items you can order easily, any time. Some kitchens keep a special list out the back, for regular special orders.

 

It can be very stressful for serving staff if they don't know the answers and the place is busy, so I try to do my research prior to any peak periods.

[kt cat]

_{I'm going out to eat next wednesday and I am so stressed out about t! I called ahead to ask how the scallops were prepared, and have been examining the menu for other possibilities. I am going to ask how the veggies are prepared, but will probably get a salald on the side.}

 

_{I have been dodging hanging out with my friends, because this is just so difficult!}

 

_{I definately will "be nice" about it, and tip well.}