PamH Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Bleh. Still Day Thirteen but I wish I could just go to bed now. Decided to get a spoon and hit the cashew butter. Hit it? Haah! Inhale it is a better word. I am happy to say I have remained within Whole30 food parameters. I am otherwise very full. Went to the gym to work some of it off and to distract myself and get out of the house. Dinner? Not sure what to do about that one. I am not hungry at all. It will probably be simple and vegetarian since I ate a huge amount of carnitas and I feel no need for more protein. Good enough food despite the bad behavior. I wish I could get a handle on the eating when I am tired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 What's your plan to get through the next few days? I can feel your fear. I wish you the Whole30 success you came here for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 What's your plan to get through the next few days? I can feel your fear. I wish you the Whole30 success you came here for. I need to keep myself busy and not spend so much time alone when I am not working. Reach out. I tend to stay at home and do things around the house or just decompress on the days I am not working. So far, I have 2 'dates' scheduled for the rest of this week which will get me out of the house on non-work days. Honestly? I'm not even craving sugar, per se. I just have this appetite that clicks on once I start eating and at times it won't turn off until I'm stuffed. I think that will just take time… and hard work at establishing new habits. For years I was all about calorie restriction and exercise, so getting used to eating a fatty meal or large meal without feeling like I'm 'cheating' or doing something wrong just takes time. That is my thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 How I've maintained a healthy weight over the years is beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 Day Fourteen Half caff with coconut milk Breakfast: nothing Lunch: tons of mixed vegetables and sweet potato 'fries' (4 of them; thick cut) Snack: pear Just not hungry at all. Dinner: chicken breast with skin, green beans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardengirl Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Okay, I've been following your success in a supportive and hopefully not an "internet creepy" way-- I think we are sisters from a different mother! I can completely relate to SO much of your life story. You are at the "I might quit" point of those previous W30's, but not this one! I wanted to wish you the best in your next exciting 15 days of whole 30-ness. I'm hoping your hunger for food returns tomorrow. I'm only a "second timer," but I know that success thrives in template-following. All the best to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Day Fifteen. I do not feel weak kneed or tempted today. I think I will make it past my 2 week crash mark! Yesterday and the day before must have been my breaking point… but I did not break. Yay, me. I almost said 'screw it' and ate sushi. Breakfast: half caff with coconut milk, 2 figs, a few ounces of leftover chicken breast with some ghee and a pear Snack: 1/4 c raisins and 1/4c raw mixed nuts before heading to the gym 45 mins cardio and 15 weights. Had to run home, frost some sugar cookie bars to send to my niece at college (she was eating Girl Scout cookies and I just had to send something less gross), hit the shower and head to work. Didn't TOUCH the cookie dough, frosting or the finished product. Don't even want to… Lunch: huge sweet potato with sauteed onion and brussel sprouts in ghee/coconut oil Will have protein bomb for dinner. Dinner: Well, not really a protein bomb. Apple Snack: Epic bar (13g protein) and 5 walnuts; beef habanero is compliant Finishing up Day 15 without failing! I've never been able to type DAY SIXTEEN! I cannot wait until tomorrow morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Okay, I've been following your success in a supportive and hopefully not an "internet creepy" way-- I think we are sisters from a different mother! I can completely relate to SO much of your life story. You are at the "I might quit" point of those previous W30's, but not this one! I wanted to wish you the best in your next exciting 15 days of whole 30-ness. I'm hoping your hunger for food returns tomorrow. I'm only a "second timer," but I know that success thrives in template-following. All the best to you! Where in the PNW do you live? I am booking a flight to Seattle today to make the trek up to Bellingham. Lived in WA for over a decade and left behind some good friends in B'ham. So excited to go! Yes, I can imagine my battle isn't unique! It is great to hear from other 'sisters' I struggle with talking myself out of completing the Whole30. Why do I need to be so restrictive? Does this even work? Why can't I have sushi rice and spicy mayo since my problem is with sugar? Isn't the sign of a strong person someone who doesn't need to do something so extreme like the Whole30? Am I just buying into a fad without any scientific basis? Why aren't my hot flashes going away? Things like that. Hope I'm not offending anyone… At the end of the day I am feeling better. My hot flashes are only at night which is an improvement. My sugar cravings have subsided. Several people have commented on how great my skin looks over the past few weeks (didn't really hear that before). My mood is more stable. I can credit my eating regimen for that. So, it is worth the 30 days of inconvenience. I hope your Whole30 is less of a battle of the mind. hah Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardengirl Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I struggle with talking myself out of completing the Whole30. Why do I need to be so restrictive? Does this even work? Why can't I have sushi rice and spicy mayo since my problem is with sugar? Isn't the sign of a strong person someone who doesn't need to do something so extreme like the Whole30? Am I just buying into a fad without any scientific basis? Why aren't my hot flashes going away? Things like that. Hope I'm not offending anyone… ************************************************** Oh my, yes, to all these things (above)! However, don't you find something affirming in following this plan and discovering so many more benefits than just resolving the sugar issue? It seems that although it certainly isn't the cure for all that ails everyone (oh my, bad cult member!), many challenges (known and some not yet at our level of awareness) are addressed/resolved or some light is shed upon when our bodies are fed just what they need. I'm in the "little B-H" (Oly). Hope your trip is fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 I struggle with talking myself out of completing the Whole30. Why do I need to be so restrictive? Does this even work? Why can't I have sushi rice and spicy mayo since my problem is with sugar? Isn't the sign of a strong person someone who doesn't need to do something so extreme like the Whole30? Am I just buying into a fad without any scientific basis? Why aren't my hot flashes going away? Things like that. Hope I'm not offending anyone… ************************************************** Oh my, yes, to all these things (above)! However, don't you find something affirming in following this plan and discovering so many more benefits than just resolving the sugar issue? It seems that although it certainly isn't the cure for all that ails everyone (oh my, bad cult member!), many challenges (known and some not yet at our level of awareness) are addressed/resolved or some light is shed upon when our bodies are fed just what they need. I'm in the "little B-H" (Oly). Hope your trip is fun! When all my whining is over, I am grateful for this forum and this food template/elimination plan. It really has given me guidance and has helped me where I had been unable to help myself before. I've been preaching health and eating well and preventative care for over a decade now and I've never been consistent at practicing it myself. There are foods that I will always keep to a minimum after this is over that I probably would not have recognized. Dairy, for one. Oats, too. Sad, but reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 Day Sixteen! Half caff with coconut milk Breakfast: Lara bar (ugh) Lunch: 10oz rib eye with big plate of mushrooms/brussel sprouts and 3 figs Allowed myself to get way too hungry. Ate a huge meal of protein to hopefully satiate. This should take me well past dinner. Baking for my niece in college. She was eating Girl Scout cookies so I told her to message me her address so I could at least send her some homemade, preservative free, GMO-free treats. I did not expect too much temptation! I ate a few Tbsp of almond butter to get over it. Sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 Can I have a do-over? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 What happened, Pam? (I did a little happy dance when I saw "Day sixteen!") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 What happened, Pam? (I did a little happy dance when I saw "Day sixteen!") Honestly? It started with a total mindless licking of the frosting spoon (from making the cookies and stuff for my niece). It was reflex, and I nearly cried a few seconds later when I realized what I had just done. It was a hefty spoonful of frosting that I had scraped from the bowl before putting it in the sink to wash. lol The sad part is… it did not end there. I had that 'what the hell' moment and just started sampling everything I had been missing: ate one of each type of cookie I had baked, some chocolate chips, some of my daughter's carrot cake (my favorite) that we had bought for painting class that she brought back home at the end of the day (yes, they paint pictures of cake!), a vegan scone I had saved in the freezer for a post Whole30 introduction. I am so not proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFChris Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 As bad as you're feeling now, don't judge, label or put meaning on it - that's not going to help things.Treat yourself with kindness, and begin again with a clean slate when you're ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 As bad as you're feeling now, don't judge, label or put meaning on it - that's not going to help things. Treat yourself with kindness, and begin again with a clean slate when you're ready. Amen, Chris. I was searching all of the blog and FB page for an old post I thought I saw. It basically said what Chris just said. Your food choices are not food choices. They are in the past. And, yeah, you can have that do over when you are ready, Pam. I have been here and I know how challenging this has been. You came back because you thought you needed it. Maybe that will be a choice you make again. You're still a worthwhile person at the heart of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Stinks that it was a mindless act! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Mindless act followed by mindful noncompliance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 It does! Heartbreaking. So, what do you do next? How do you usually take care of you when you are feeling down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 It does! Heartbreaking. So, what do you do next? How do you usually take care of you when you are feeling down? I was about to head out the door to the gym, but I decided that was merely to burn off the calories. Instead, I ate a real dinner of ground chicken, fajita beef, onions, cabbage (in soy amino/tomato paste/fennel seed/dill/sea salt) and am going to read a good book. I will honor my fatigue and get up tomorrow to start another day. It will be Day One, but I will work hard not to beat myself up. I know my cravings and urges are diminished and I'm doubtful that today is going to change that much. Sadly, in 2 weeks I head to Disney World and I know I can't stay compliant there. Not officially. I sure can be close, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardengirl Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 And, might it be that "just close" might just good enough?! You have learned that you have the capacity for discipline, mindfulness and know what is most beneficial for you, and indeed can embrace a whole 9 kind of life. The prize is indeed inside! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 And, might it be that "just close" might just good enough?! You have learned that you have the capacity for discipline, mindfulness and know what is most beneficial for you, and indeed can embrace a whole 9 kind of life. The prize is indeed inside! I go back and forth on "good enough", gardengirl. I'm just not sure what to do. Before coming into Whole30, I was already primarily gluten free and ate little dairy. I wasn't a big grain eater. My issue was sugar: chocolate. My other issue was not shutting off when I started eating and then restricting/fasting to accommodate. Wondering if I would be better served by just going sugar free and allowing myself to eat the other foods in the moderation I was already doing? Focus on meals and NO SNACKING instead? I wanted to finish one cycle to see how it changed me. Just. Can't. Seem. To. Do. It. Thinking this: someone (me) who used restriction and elimination to the point of a disorder might not do well on an extreme restrictive eating plan (Whole30) because it can further fuel the negative association with food. "Can" is the operative word. We all respond individually. I want moderation in my life with food, and am again thinking taking a moderate approach might suit me better. Probably going to leave the forum and move on. I just enjoy being here! I'll become a lurker. I actually do want to introduce fermented soy products to see if they help with perimenopause. Using organic, non-gmo, fermented soy (tempeh, mostly) only. The beneficial research out there focuses on women post menopausal, but of course the food industry took it way beyond and let us think: If a little bit is good for some, then a lot is good for everyone. I think it might have a place in my diet but we will see. For today I am still Whole30 compliant as my goal. I have to think about what is best for my long term success. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Breakfast: half caff with coconut milk, a little bit of compliant breakfast sausage, ½ avocado and a pear Face feels swollen this morning. Puffy. Slept hot all night. No surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 Cannot really recall what I ate. I know it wasn't sugar. Went out to eat at an awesome Gastropub for the first time and could not see one thing on the menu that complied. Just ate what I thought was best and avoided outright gluten/sugar and otherwise crappy food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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