Kmlynne's Whole 30: 2015

[Brewer5]

 I know you know.   How did you come to know.  I need to hear it, too. 

Lol, Lily.  You're so funny.  

 

That mental clarity -- that feeling of "I can take on the world" -- that is a result of Whole 30 eating.

 

I am getting through my days just fine.  I have no desire to do another Whole 30.  But I am not on top of the world.  If you want to stay there -- you CHOOSE to stay there.  You already know what to do.  You're doing it.  Every day.

 

Protein+veggie+fat.  Repeat.  Each meal and snack is composed this way -- and if it's not, then you are not doing the best you can possibly do for your body.  

[MeadowLily]

Sometimes, it really helps when an Alumni like you reminds us.  Your minds starts thinking it can coast on cruise control.  Nuh huh.  That's how a person starts going in reverse.  

[Kmlynne]

Haven't been on this page for a while - mostly because I haven't been compliant - and a bit because I have been too busy.

 

I have been keeping a journal at home as well as trying to keep up here - just a little bit too much.  The journal started at the beginning of the month.  During my impromptu trip to st louis, my aunt, cousin and I all found a journal at Target that is specifically for fitness.  We started them at the same time - as encouragement for each other.  I knew that I was "off track" as far as w30 was going, but didn't realize how bad until I was rereading the journal.

 

KEEP A FOOD LOG!!!!!

 

Even when you are not "dieting" or "on w30" - keep a food log.  You will have accountability when you look back.

 

Over the last week, I have work nights - and days - and one shift stretch for almost 20 hours.  I also took some time to get walking again - some shorter walks - and one good long day in the woods climbing a mountain.  There was a quote posted on Facebook the other day:  It is impossible to walk in the woods and be in a bad mood at the same time.  This is so true.  I should have gotten out and done at least a short walk today, but I ended up vegging in my chair.  There is always tomorrow.

 

I love my daughter dearly, and it makes me feel good to know that she actually wants me to get up with her in the morning (mostly to make her breakfast and lunch  ) to see her off to school.  The sacrifice is that I lose sleep.  But I will always do this for her, as long as she wants me to (at least until she is out of high school).  Tomorrow, I will get to sleep in a little bit!  I am soooooo excited!  After church, I have a new hike planned 

 

See you all soon!

[Kmlynne]

Back on track today!!!!!!  (I am on a roll - a one day roll right now  )

 

Church this morning.  Left right from church this morning to head to a new park.  It is up closer to the city so a bit more people around but the travel time made it "more doable" today.  I headed out to the Bull Run Occoquan trail.  It is an 18.5 mile trail that goes from one regional park to another.  I walked the first 5 miles (out and back).  Very pretty through the woods.  Passed many people but overall had time alone.  On the way back to the car, in the last mile, there was a couple who was coming up behind me.  I had stopped to watch some deer eating (they were only about 25 yards away from me, just watching me since I was quiet).  As they came up, their loud voices and not so quiet walking scared the deer away......  *sigh*

 

Home for a quick dinner and early bedtime.  

 

M1:  sweet potato hash, brat

M2:  3 eggs, broccoli slaw

M3:  potato chips, apple

M4:  2 chicken thighs, roasted broccoli/cauliflower

[Kmlynne]

Yesterday....  lets see.

 

Started out with hiking with mom and dad.  I was not feeling it - at all.  Tired and sore.  If we hadn't planned to go together, I probably would have just crawled back under the covers.   (OK, let me rephrase that - I wouldn't have crawled out from under the covers  ).

 

We were hiking against the weather, so only did about 6 1/2 miles.  Somehow a hike just doesn't seem worth it if you can't get more than 5 miles in.  Once home and cleaned up, I headed to the grocery store for some veggies and things for DDs lunches.  Then crawled back under said covers for a four hour nap.

 

Worked all night.  Fairly busy - had my manager working during the night also.  It's getting bad lately...  too many people having babies.  Boggles the mind.  I mean, we do over 100 delivery's a month - in a small community hospital.  Within 30 min in each direction are 3 other hospitals - one our size, two bigger.  So, in rough math, thats over 500 babies born just in my town - each month.  

 

Anyway, I digress.  After work this morning, I had a meeting to attend.  Visit with the chiro for my back then home at 10 am and to bed.  Woken up by work calling to see if I could come in at 3.  Do you believe I said no?  (Had dinner plans with my folks before they leave the state).  When I was putting my phone down, I noticed a text from my DS "We need to talk when I get home".  I put the phone down, then my mind kicked in.  What's going on?  Is he failing school (again), was he in a car accident?  Did he lose his job?  Is he sick?  .....  After about 10 min of this, I texted him back, even knowing he was at work.  "About what?"  --- a couple minutes later  "What's wrong".  

After about 10 minutes, he texts back, "I'm pregnant".  Great - he's gone and gotten some poor girl pregnant and she doesn't want to keep the baby and now I am going to have to raise another child.  I just about have my two out the door and I'm going to be starting over.  I can't believe this.  "Don't mess with me" I wrote back.  "I am serious, he replied".  I couldn't stand it.  I called him.  He was laughing.  The brat.

 

In the end, he was teasing me.  Thought I wouldn't see the text until I woke later in the afternoon.  Had to have a chat with the boy.  Told him, do you know how your stomach drops and you feel nauseous when I text that to you?  (Like being called to the principals office).  Yes, he said.  Well, that's what happened to me - and you caught me exhausted and fuzzy minded from lack of sleep. He apologized - as we both laughed.....  That boy.

 

Dinner out with mom and dad tonight.  They chose and Italian restaurant (pasta).  I thought about having pasta since I haven't had it in so long - but nothing sounded appetizing.  Ended up getting the rosemary garlic chicken and mashed potatoes with spinach - no sauce.  Salad, no dressing.  Really enjoyed it too

 

Yesterday:

M1:  sweet potato hash, brat

M2:  sliced turkey, baby carrots

M3:  chicken thigh, pumpkin

M4:  ribs, roasted broccoli/cauliflower

 

Today:

M1:  3 sb eggs, broccoli slaw

M2:  chicken thigh (2), 1/2 acorn squash

M3:  rosemary garlic chicken, mashed potatoes, spinach, salad

[Brewer5]

 

After about 10 minutes, he texts back, "I'm pregnant". 

 

 

Okay, I am literally LOL here and had to read this story to my kids -- because my 14-year-old son JUST texted a friend of his (a girl who lives down the street) and said this.  Like, just a few days ago.

 

He said to me, "I want to text Caitlyn and say something really off the wall."  "I'm thinking about telling her I'm pregnant."

 

 

Her response:  "How?"

 

hahahahahahaha

[Kmlynne]

very quick note because I am very tired and it is getting late.

 

Ended up working for about 6 hours today - then to the chiro - then to church.  Once home, DD and I were cooking food for the next couple of days.

 

When I am tired, things get to me more.  Today a friend is leaving for vacation with her hubby for a week - and I am missing her  When I am tired, I feel needy and just knowing that my friend is near helps me - and now she will be out of touch for a week.......  

 

I am feeling very overwhelmed with work, projects, church work, ...  all the things that have to be done before I go on vacation.  I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be a new day - but the tomorrows keep coming too quickly and I am running out of time.  And to top it off, I just don't know how I am going to get some good training hikes in.......  killing me.

 

The good thing is that when I went to the grocery store - I didn't even feel the "need" for chips or candy or ice cream.  I was hungry, too.  When I got home, I found 1/2 a Dominos pizza and a box of their cinna-bread - and didn't even feel tempted.  Not even sure if I feel proud of myself for this - or upset that I am too tired to crave anything

 

Anyway, it is 940pm and I am sitting in bed with a salad and some ribs.....  

 

M1:  chicken thigh, acorn squash, roasted broccoli/cauliflower

M2:  chicken thigh, acorn squash, roasted broccoli/cauliflower (see a theme?)

M3:  ribs, lettuce and tomato salad

[Kmlynne]

another quick note....  the days just seem longer and longer - and still not enough time....

 

work yesterday and today.  long days.  busy days....

 

last night after work, home to make lunch for DD for the next day.  She was home late too and needed band uniform washed and dried by morning.  made a deal with her - I would stay up to do her laundry if she could get her own breakfast in the morning....  stayed up and extra hour to get an extra fifteen minutes sleep in the morning  - somehow that just didn't add up.

 

Yesterday:

M1:  4 eggs, broccoli slaw 

M2:  brat, sweet potato hash

M3:  lettuce/tomato/cucumber salad, chicken thigh

 

Today:

M1:  1/2 steak sub with onion/peppers (no bun)

M2:  chicken breast, potato

[Kmlynne]

After a long busy week, I was in bed and asleep by 10pm, knowing that I had nothing to wake up for in the morning (plenty to do - just no scheduled time).  Got a call at 1145 pm from DS - he was involved in a car accident.

 

I keep reminding myself to be thankful that it was single car - he wasn't hurt and he didn't hurt anyone else.  (And I am truly, truly thankful for that).  Now, all I can think about is how we are going to logistically going to get him to school and work (his social life is going to be on hold for a while), as well as getting me all the places I need to get on a daily basis.  Not only that, but I still have 3 1/2 years of payments to make on his car, which will probably never be drivable again.  I am already stretched as thin as I thought I could get financially (even working 10 or so hours overtime each week).  Just don't know how I am an going to cover this.  We didn't carry collision on the car because it wasn't worth enough.  VDOT is also going to be sending us a bill for the guardrail.  

 

I have been sitting here today trying to figure out where I can cut my expenses some more.  Am finally biting the bullet and canceling the cable service.  Not quite ready to cancel the phones - I need it too much.  I have already cut all my social "going out with the girls/church" where I spend money (dinners/lunches/etc).  Thinking about the gym membership - but that is only 10$ a month.  As much as I love w30, I am going to have to cut back the groceries a bit more.  I don't know what this will mean for w30.  I thought I was being slim getting groceries as it is - I might just be able to surprise myself, but may have to supplement with things like beans and rice. 

 

 

So, I didn't mean to dump on y'all - its just safe here.  No one in my family is on here.  I am sometimes too independent for my own good and hate to ask for help.  I am truly in need of some prayer to get through this, emotionally at the very least.  I just don't know how I am going to pick up more overtime, but I am sure I can find a way - our sister hospital is always calling me anyway.  So I need prayers for strength to be able to work more as well.  I need prayers on how I am going to deal with DS as well.  He is going to have to help, financially anyway.  As much as we have talked, he have never saved anything so now he is faced with a traffic ticket, court fees, etc.  Not having a social life is going to help him save some  No matter what kind of "payments" I set him up with, they will be to me and I will have to foot the initial bills.  The sad part of it is that I am chafing more under the fact of how much it is going to disrupt my life working around his schedule because we are down to one car......and that is sad.  That just makes me feel more selfish.

 

Thank you all for listening - and for your prayers - you don't know how much I appreciate it

[MeadowLily]

Would DHx pitch anything in?

[Brewer5]

Oh, Karen.  I'm not gonna like that post, because I don't like it one bit.  This makes me so sad for you.  

 

I like that your son is not injured.  I don't know what happened, but he's a fortunate fella.

 

{Would you rather he was pregnant right about now?}

 

My first thought was that in Indiana -- we are required to have full coverage insurance if there is a loan on the vehicle.  I can't imagine having to pay another 3.5 years for a vehicle you don't even own anymore.  That's awful.  

 

When we bought our truck this year, for the first time, we signed up for the GAP insurance -- I think it was $250 tacked on at the beginning of our loan.  Payments went up about $2 per month.  This was the first time I had really stopped and considered what GAP insurance actually does.  I think we've been fortunate to never need it in the past (because we had never agreed to buy it in the past), but I think it is something that we will be doing from now on.  If you get that option with your next purchase -- definitely look into it.

 

As far as all the rest -- I will pray.  I haven't been great about praying lately, but I do say a prayer with the kids every night.  We will include your family, for sure.

 

I have no idea how your relationship is with your son, but man.....  I'd be one tough mama about that kid having a savings account.  YOU should not be having to give up so many things that are important to you, because HE messed up.  If you haven't had a rule about a certain % of his paycheck to go into savings before now -- consider requiring it.  As long as he is under your roof.  <-- This is my protective friend mode.  Disregard if it makes you mad, but know that it comes from the heart.

[MeadowLily]

Brewer is speaking wisdom.  I had an older car when I was single.  I had complete coverage.  My insurance man said it was a mistake to only carry collison due to the cap in case of injury and medical expenses.   So I always had full coverage on an older car.  I felt more secure because of it.  It wasn't the value of the car but the cargo inside and in the other vehicles. 

 

One time, a drunk kid on New Year's eve plowed right into my car in the driveway and totaled it out.  It was snowing and icy.   My complete coverage saved me.  It was a hit and run.   I called the law and they found him by his tracks in the snow.   He had no insurance. 

[MeadowLily]

I mean basic liability vs. full coverage.  

 

Does his Paw help with anything?

[Kmlynne]

Oh friends . Thanks so much for your concern and prayer. It really means so much to me. Brewer - had to laugh about the pregnancy - I am still glad he isn't pregnant . That helped me put today in a little perspective, though..... At least this isn't going to be an 18 year commitment

In VA, there is a requirement to carry insurance if you owe on the car. However, because the interest was cheaper on a personal loan, I went that route and paid for the car outright. This gave me the chance to put the car on insurance without collision. I still carry medical on all occupants, and liability in case others are involved. Thing is, the car was depreciating faster than I was paying it off. By not carrying collision, I was saving 40$ a month (actually DS was saving, since he pays me back for his phone and car insuance monthly - cheaper to keep him on my plan). So that 40/mo over 12 months was cheaper than the 800 the insurance company would have given me this weekend for the totaled car. Go figure. I did finally get to talk to a body shop guy - would have been a minimum of 5k to fix - that's if the frame could be straightened out. *sigh*

As far as the savings, as soon as he was getting an allowance, he had to put 10% in savings. When he started working, I expected the same. When he turned 18, I was trying to treat him as an adult. What I have found out is that he not only wasn't putting anything in his savings but he was also withdrawing from it. *sigh*

He keeps texting me from work with schemes on how to get another car. I keep telling him no. He is going to have to save up for his own this time. I am standing by that.

And no, his dad hasn't put a cent toward him, his schooling, anything since he turned 18.

[MeadowLily]

He doesn't carry him on his health insurance until he's age 26.  Nothing.  Huh.   I'm glad they have you and why it's important to take care of you.  You've taken full responsibility for everyone.  That's a whopping boatload of stress.  Without you, we'd all be up a creek without a paddle.

[Kmlynne]

An emotional day - one that has left me drained.  

 

I ended up not doing much of anything for most of the day.  After I went to the salvage yard to see the car, realized that it is beyond repair and signed over the title, I decided to go to DDs band competition.  I sat in the stands for a few hours watching the bands.  I knew I should be out hiking, I just didn't have the energy.  Left the stadium for the grocery store.  After that, I went home for a short nap before picking up DS from work.

 

DS and I had a chat about the consequences of his accident.  He had already called one set of grandparents to see if he could buy one of their extra cars.  I stopped that.  He is not getting anything handed to him this time.  He is going to have to prove that he can save his money - and going to have to come up with a significant down-payment before he gets another vehicle.  Also, I don't want him "borrowing" one of their vehicles since this is his 5th "accident" in 3 years - I am afraid that he is going to damage theirs.

 

He is not happy, but resigned.  When he said something about having to "cancel some of his plans with friends", I lit into him about all I am going to have to give up to work more as well as now having to chauffeur him around now.  That made him get quiet.

 

Maybe this will be a true learning experience for him.

 

 

M1:  burger, no bun

M2:  brat, 2 eggs, pumpkin "pancakes" (not true w30, but compliant)

[Kmlynne]

I think I have had a little bit of a change of heart today - about my eating at least.  Food is one of the last things I can control.  Rather than throwing in the towel and going back to the processed stuff that is cheap, I need to continue to eat healthy.  Especially if I am going to be pushing how much I can do in a days time.

 

I am not going to be able to get out and walk as much as I want.  I am not going to be able to go on any long mountain hikes in the near future.  I am chafing and feeling a bit upset about what I am going to be giving up.  I know that I have to stand strong and not give in.  But I can't give up on myself completely either.

 

Yes, there will be meals here and there that will have to be cheap, maybe even "off-road".  But over all, I am going to try to be compliant.

 

Today, nomnompaleo had a post on Facebook - Zenbelly's chicken with apples and bacon.  OMG it was good!!!!!!  And not too expensive (esp since I already had some bacon left).  

 

After calling work yesterday and today and offering to work, and being told I wasn't needed, I saw a post on fb of a coworker looking for coverage for 4 hours tonight - I jumped on it.  DS also came to me and said he was going to check with his manager at work and see if he could get some more hours too.

 

M1:  4 eggs, broccoli slaw

M2:  zenbelly's chicken with apples and bacon, roasted broccoli and carrots

[MeadowLily]

I don't know if you live in a big town or city but I imagine a bicycle is not safe on the hiways.  People are not safe here on two-lane roads. People have little regard for the bikes.  Do you have a bus system he could use?   I'm trying to think of something to give you some time for yourself.   No, I don't want you to give up on yourself.   So can you  go for a walk from your house  around the blocks and find some hills.  There has to be something with ease of walking out your front door that will work.  Brewer walks around in her house when she's pressed for time.    There's a doable substitute for your beloved mountains.  Stairs, walking around the house, block or even gasp...Wally World or a mall parking lot. 

[Kmlynne]

Cant believe it has been three days!  I almost think I need to be posting in the "post w30" area now, but since this is a 2015 thing.....  well, just to keep things from being confusing to new members, I won't be posting about my meals until I am being compliant again.  I'll just use this area to keep in touch for a bit.  

 

Things are staying busy - probably too busy.  I am just trying to keep up.  I knew that life was going to be busy these couple of weeks before my vacation, but now I have more added in having to take DS to school and work.  Oh well.

 

Meadowlily  - riding a bike around here is just downright dangerous.  I grew up in this are and rode my bike everywhere when I was in high school.  Several years ago, I borrowed a bike from my parents with the plan to ride to and from work in good weather.  I gave up before I had gotten 1/2 a mile down the road and had been almost run over twice.  Traffic is just too busy.  Unfortunately, we are also too rural to be on a bus line.  There is a bus system in the local town, but he'd have to walk over 5 miles to get to the nearest bus stop.  As there are no sidewalks, and the drivers try to kill bicyclists, I can only imagine how quickly DS would be hit by a car if he walked.

 

I found myself seriously thinking about selling the house to rent something closer to his campus (20-30 min away by car from where I live) so he could walk to school and walk to a local job.......  As much as I am getting closer to actually wanting to move - this is not the time.

 

One day at a time

[Kmlynne]

So today, I finally had a day off work - and nothing else scheduled. (Can you believe it?)  Guess where I went?

 

....to the MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!

 

We had a lot of rain here over the weekend and the national park had closed some places down.  I wanted to go to White Oak Canyon Trail to see the waterfalls.  When I got there, the upper parking lot was closed because of water over the road.  So, despite it being 46 degrees, I took my boots off, waded through the stream (river) to the other side and walked up the parking lot only to find signs at the trail head that the trail was closed.  So, I waded back across the water and went a bit further up the road to the Old Rag hiking trails.  I have done this circuit only one time - last year when I was 50ish pounds heavier.  I remembered my legs shaking the last couple of miles.  Today went much better.    If you look up this hike, it tells you  there is a "rock scramble".  Let me say it is not a "scramble".  It is a mile and a half of hauling yourself up and down in crevices, squeezing between rocks, crawling on your hands and knees.......  In one place, my foot slipped.  I fell on my hip and slid about 8 feet down the rock face.  (My trip to Sedona flashed before my eyes - I was sure I was going to break a leg and not be able to go).  Fortunately, I caught myself on another rock and was able to find a way back up.  In the process, I bruised my hip and wrenched my shoulder.  I am achy but not broken!!!  I finished the 8 mile circuit, added on another couple miles then headed back to my car.  Since I was passing the White Oak Canyon parking lot again, I stopped.  The signs were still up, but there were several people in the parking lot who said that they had seen on the website that all trails were open.  So, I risked a fine and hiked most of that trail too!  The waterfalls were impressive   .  

 

When I left the house this morning, we had no electricity.  When I found myself back in cell range, my son had texted that we still had no electricity.  With the thoughts of a cold shower running through my head, I decided to head to the gym to get a HOT shower.  (of course, as soon as I got there, DS texted that the electric was back).  When I went in the gym, I noticied how close I was to 35000 steps for the day.....  so I got on the treadmill.  Yes, I am crazy   .  Total mileage today:  16 

 

Now, I am sitting in bed with ice on my back and heating pads on my legs and shoulder.......  and I feel G.O.O.D, albeit tired........

[Kmlynne]

Today has been one of those days where everything has gone smoothly, quickly, and efficiently.  I am in awe.

 

The day started with a test that I haven't had time to study all that much for.  I showed up 30 min early to have time to review my notes but was offered to just take the test early - I accepted, and passed  That got me to my dr office 90 minutes early - and they took me right away.  Because of that, I made it to a meeting that had been moved up an hour at the last minute (making me think I wasn't going to be able to go).  The meeting was quicker than normal so I was able to get to the chiropractor, get a haircut (again, was taken as soon as I walked in the door), and get to the grocery store.  When I got home, I had 45 min before I had to leave again.  I was able to get a pork shoulder in one crock pot, brats and sauerkraut in the other crock pot, make bean sprout salad and broccoli slaw before I headed out the door.  Back to the hospital for another skills validation (yearly, hospital-wide).  Home again to roast butternut squash for soup, acorn squash and cauliflower.  I am prepping for slo-cooker taco soup for when the brats are done, and going to make chicken cacciatore.  I was called to see if we could have praise team practice before church tonight (absolutely) - which means I will be in bed a whole hour earlier than anticipated  That is what I call a good day!

 

 

Saw my dr today.  We had a long talk about weight.  We discussed the pros and cons of blood work (cortisol, insulin, a1c, adoponectin, grelhin, thyroid, etc).  In the end, it is diet and exercise in conjunction.  Cortisol testing isn't easy and gives somewhat vague results unless you are looking at something like Cushing - which I have no other symptoms for.  With my work and stress, the hormones are going to be out of balance so they won't tell me much either.  My thyroid and glucose levels have been rock solid for years (at least since starting w30 for the first time 3 years ago).  Could I tweak some of these things (the glucose for example by eating less fruit) - sure - but again, it comes down to doing what I know I am supposed to be doing.  He is doing the whole panel of usual blood work - chol panel, chemistries, blood counts, a1c, thyroid - just to make sure everything is ok.  He is going to add an ANA to rule out lupus - but again, that is one of the ones that has a high percentage of false positives so it really doesn't tell us much.  He thinks the rash I have is rosacea rather than lupus.  Wanted to give me doxicycline to try - which I declined - I have an appointment in december with a dermatologist who doesn't use antibiotics - I want to see what he says first before killing off all those good bugs I have worked so hard to get back in my gut

 

I had a weak moment in our discussion - about the frustration of weight loss - and even more frustration about weight gain.  The other night, I stopped for chinese (tired, no food in house).  Had chicken and veggies.  Of course, the next day I was up on my weight, significantly.  The frustration that one cookie adds back on 5 pounds and it take a whole week of eating perfectly to get that to go away.  The frustration of all the exercise (1500 miles this year hiking) that hasn't helped me lose more weight.  I cried.  Right there in front of the dr.  I had a pity party.  I should be able to have a cookie once in a while - or order take-out once a month - or just enjoy my food without having to worry about growing up out of my clothes.....  Like I said, I had a moment.

 

So, I continue on.  

[Kmlynne]

So, after being "not so good" (but not horrible) for a bit, I have really been "perfect" (compliant) the last couple of days.  Then I checked my fasting glucose today and it was 107.   Hmmmm.  Not sure if its just that I need to behave for longer, or what.  Can't remember if the dr added HA1C to my blood work.  If it doesn't come back down soon, I will give him a call.  Maybe ask for an insulin resistance workup.....

 

All that being said, I have come to a realization that w30 is not for extended periods of time.  It is impractical.  Sure - you can live the w30 as a lifestyle - but it is kind of restrictive.  That is why it is called a w30!  That is why there is a period to bring other foods back into your eating style (I dare not say diet).  That is why it is followed by whole9.

 

It has only taken me a few years to realize this

 

So, this post will close out my w30 in 2015 log.

 

I am going on vacation in a couple of weeks.  I will eat well.  I will splurge once in a while (a dessert every couple of days or so).  When I return, I will start a new post w30 log

[ChiggerCane]

I've enjoyed reading anout your journey.  Thanks for being such an inspiration.  I look forward to finding your new blog soon.  Have a wonderful vacation.