Confessions and a Re-start

[megmac]

I finished my first Whole30 a few weeks ago. I wrote a lot about just living that way, not venturing far from the plan, blah blah blah.

I blew it. I returned to many of my bad habits and foods. I am trying to accept it as a learning experience and move on, but it's tough. I thought I had changed, and in some ways I'm sure I have. But not enough.

What eats at me is why. I was disappointed in my results, but began to realize over the next few weeks that I felt poorly when I ate off plan (physically AND mentally), and probably always had. It was just what I was used to, and feeling good came on slowly so I didn't really notice. Until I went off. For the last 2 weeks I have felt like crap-bloated, headaches, not sleeping, etc. And emotionally, I'm totally disappointed in myself.

So here's the plan. I am starting a Whole14 in the morning. Then I go on vacation, and know there will be some off roading. When I come back (9/23), I'm doing a WholeWhatever through the end of the year. I will survive Thanksgiving, Christmas, visitors...ON MY TERMS. I'm going to experience the joy of life without food guilt. I will not have a weight loss goal. I will more fully embrace the program, not just successfully eliminate foods. No wonder the Whole30 was so easy for me the first time. I was only doing the easy part.

I have felt this way before, but this time is different. This time I know how to fix it.

[Renee Lee]

You absolutely DID NOT BLOW IT! It is not always so very simple. Like you said, changes come on slowly. People on diets that look at themselves every morning tend to not notice the incremental changes in their bodies. That's why before and after photos are so awesome; you can't avoid the drastic improvement.

So you've realized how much food affects you, and that's great! Your plan of attack is perfect!

[Tamra Wysocki-Niimi]

It is totally normal to go back to foods that you used to eat and then to go overboard! But, as Renee said, you didn't blow it! You can't blow it! But also, I think that your last two sentences are really powerful. You might have felt this way before, but now you know how to fix it. That is huge! And that's one thing that comforts me when I've gone full tilt into my husband's candy bar stash or ice cream tub -- I will look back at what triggered it, learn from it, and then go back to eating in a Whole30 style. If I go bonkers for several days or if I feel like I might be losing control a bit, then I do a Whole7 or WholehoweverlongIthink. You can always just go back to eating more healthily and you'll feel better in a day or so, depending on what you ate.

Your plan sounds great, by the way! Keep posting!!

[Elleon]

This hits home for me - I finished my first Whole 30 day before yesterday. Made it through both my daughters' birthdays sans cake, through a potluck at our box, through life in general!

But yesterday it was like I had to have a piece of cake and see what happened. Which led to another piece. Which led to cider with a dinner of black bean soup... blah blah fast forward - this morning my sinuses are closed and I have this crazy rash AROUND MY NECK??

I saw some real changes during the Whole 30 in my skin and energy, but there were other things that needed more work. And I let those other things outweigh the positive progress made... So I am on Day 1 of a Whole 60, to really embrace the spirit of the program and try to make more progress on the areas that still need work.

I guess my point is I really love your last paragraph and we are all works in progress .

[megmac]

Thanks for the positive feedback and encouragement. I am just really finding myself full of shit at the moment. I will be over that by morning when I am actually doing something to help myself. I am in the dark predawn hours in my head right now.

[jhmomi]

Megmac - I really feel your pain but don't be so hard on your self. Continue your journey and consider each step you take towards your goals a success. Two steps forward and one step back still results in forward progress over time. Learn from your setbacks and keep going!!!

I eventually went back to all the old foods after my first Whole30 ended in March. It took several weeks and then it was crazy. I kept some good habits, but was definitely not Whole30 or even Paleo. I just finished Whole30 #2 this week and I feel good about it. I have a definite plan for offroading that I developed based on my post Whole30 detour and my history of going from strict diets or meal plans to "anything goes" (over my lifetime this includes WW, Atkins, high protein diets, low-fat diets etc.), After all these years I finally learned (duh) and ACCEPT that I have to make PERMANENT CHANGES to my lifestyle to achieve and sustain the health and fitness I want. I have worked 12 months on making improvements, including two Whole30s and developing a true commitment to fitness that I have never been able to sustain before. Even when my commitment to healthy food wavered, I continued to exercise EVERY day. I haven't missed a day of doing at least a 30 minute walk since January 1st. I continue to make positive changes every month, some food related, some fitness related, some family related. The only point that matters to me is, I am improving.

Best of luck on your WholeWhatever!!!

P.S. It took me over 4 months to get mentally ready to commit to Whole30 #2. Congrats to you for getting back on track faster than I did!

[SarahLou]

I love this post--thanks Megmac for sharing your vulnerability and thanks to everyone else for your encouragement and support. I'm on day 30 today, and still trying to figure out my gameplan from here on out. I know I'll veer way off course if I allow myself too much wiggle room. I've never been good at so-called 'moderation.' It's great to read from others' similar experiences, so thanks!

[Laura B]

The coolest part about the Whole 30 is you can do it whenever and however many times you want! I'm glad to hear you've got your head in the game now. Just remain present, and the good vibes will follow.

[megmac]

Okay, day 1, and with it comes relief. One of the things I will explore this time is why I need a "day 1" to get back on track. But here it is, and it feels like a life jacket.

My big decision is about my daily liquid supplement. It's Sea Vegies/Aloe Vera based, and I've been taking it for years. I haven't so much as had a cold since I started taking it. Seriously. But it's sweetened with honey (only 20 calories and 4 sugars in the 4 ounces I take). I took it all through my last Whole30, and I don't have a sweet tooth at all so it's no problem for me on that front, but could it affect results? I'd love to hear your thoughts, because it's a big decision for me.