Noelle Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Day 10 B: Turkey thigh meat, pan-fried chicken livers, kale, sweet potato, diced avocado 2 Brazil nuts Decaf coffee Mid-morning: Matcha with coconut cream L: Cruciferous Crunch, with 3 eggs and turmeric, homemade parsley-mint pesto 1/2 cup fresh pineapple with coconut cream Mid-afternoon: Homemade kombucha D: 5 "Classic Italian" meatballs (Well Fed 2), marinara, zucchini and carrot "fettuccini," capers Bedtime: Mug of chamomile tea Exercise: 45 minutes on the elliptical. I "sprinted" a little, even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Still here, just not logging because ugh, logging. I've been experimenting with eating more carbs—a lot more carbs—and I feel much better. I don't know if it's physical or psychological (probably both), but my two-plus baked potatoes and servings of fruit have made a world of difference. I don't feel so ravenous all the time, and my cravings (especially for nuts!) are basically gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 My sleep last night was fantastic. I woke up feeling a little run-down, though—probably from an evening ballet conditioning workout and running after a busy preschooler all day yesterday. Anyway, food looked like this: Day 14 B: Eggs, greens, ground pork, and potato all made into hash Almond milk matcha latte L: Leftover Paleo Pork Normandy (Frugal Paleo), baked potato, blackberries and a few grapes Home brewed kombucha Mid-afternoon: Mug of bone broth D: Beef Stroganoff, red cabbage, garlic-roasted broccoli 2 Brazil nuts (selenium!) Exercise: ballet conditioning, about 45 minutes *** Since upping carbs, I'm feeing calmer and more satiated. I don't feel like I have to EAT ALL THE FATS to stay full. I didn't realize how carb-phobic is become, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 16, 2015 Author Share Posted July 16, 2015 Day 15 B: Eggs, greens, and potato all cooked in coconut oil Kimchi Almond milk matcha latte L: Sausage-and-spinach "muffins" (Well Fed) Zucchini and parsnips Blackberries and cherries T: Sausage-and-spinach muffins Snap peas Apple D: Big salad with tilapia, romaine, peppers, cucumbers, and snap peas, with mayo-mustard-caper dressing Homemade (raw) pickle Sip of kombucha Post-ballet: Coconut water and chicken breast Exercise: 1-hour ballet class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 I had a huge setback on Day 17 yesterday. An event ran way past the time I expected it to, and I ended up going from 6:30 AM to 2:30 PM with nothing but a 70-calorie Go Raw "energy bar" in between. After I finally got a chance to eat the beautiful lunch I'd planned (leftover pork chop, apple, and onion with squash, all made into soup), I felt frighteningly sick. I made myself eat some dinner a little later on, and went to bed gassy, crampy, and bloated. I was in a lot of pain, and spent most of the night in the bathroom, clearing everything out. I'm still very tender this morning—my stomach feels like someone's been kicking it over and over again. I'm thankful for a partner who takes care of me (and our kids), and I appreciate my body's ability to clear itself out. My hope is that this will be a blessing in disguise. My digestion has never been great: I was chronically constipated as a one-year-old; the only time I remember having regular, healthy bowel movements was when I was eating a low-fat, gluten-free, soy-free vegan diet and practicing yoga. For now, I'm drinking bone broth. I'm looking into AIP, low-FODMAP, etc. for when I ease back into regular, template meals to support my gut a little more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Recovering from yesterday/last night... Day 18 B: Mug of bone broth S: Mug of bone broth L: Skinless chicken breast, squash, coconut oil S: Ginger kombucha Mug of bone broth D: Can of yellowfin tuna in olive oil Roasted carrots and parsnips *** So much pain, so much bloat... Better than yesterday, but ugh. I suspect FODMAP sensitivity, among other things. I'm going to stick to AIP-friendly, low-FODMAP veggies plus plain protein, and olive and coconut oils until I feel significantly better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Day 19 B: Ground beef, carrots, parsnips, coconut oil Mid-morning: Homebrewed lemon kombucha L: Ground beef, carrots, coconut oil, bone broth Mid-afternoon: Mackerel, zucchini, coconut oil D: Ground beef, carrots, spinach (cooked), romaine (cooked), coconut oil, cantaloupe *** Most boring day of food ever. I really kicked up my heels at dinner time with the romaine and cantaloupe. Gettin' fancy! We'll see how that goes down...so to speak. I spent most of yesterday sitting and recovering. No inflammatory foods at all. And my hips hurt today. I blame the sitting. My energy was OK today. I fell asleep at 8:30 last night and got up at 6:30 this morning, which is sleeping in for me. I got a lot of food- and meal-prep done for the week, but little else. The kids are really, really hard to be around right now. My fingers are crossed for some kind of energy tomorrow. On the bowel front, I had a little more diarrhea this morning, but no painful gas or bloating, and no unpleasant burps. And I felt genuine hunger at mealtimes. I'm tempted to say things are on the mend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 21, 2015 Author Share Posted July 21, 2015 Day 20 B: Chicken soup Home-brewed lemon kombucha L: Ground beef, spinach and carrots (both cooked), coconut oil Cantaloupe T: Mackerel with olive oil Roasted carrots and parsnips Small baked potato D: Turkey drumettes Butternut squash with coconut oil Cucumber Exercise: 1 hour ballet class *** My appetite came back full-force! I felt good and energetic in the evening after class, but very bloated. No pain, though—just an enormous belly. I also ate about three times as much turkey as I'd planned, so that might have something to do with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 It's Day 22 (again), and I want to quit (again). I feel like this was working really well...until it stopped working. And I don't know why it stopped working. I was so hopeful and energetic in the beginning—I was feeling better (mood-wise) than I thought it was possible for me to feel—and now I'm just sad and frustrated. I want to hide. My dance clothes are tighter. I went to bed at 7:30 last night, because I couldn't keep my eyes open. I got up at 5:00 this morning, and I still feel so tired. None of it makes any sense to me. *** I don't miss grains or bread. I don't miss dairy; I'm glad to be rid of it, actually. (I was eating yogurt because I thought it was good more me, but I don't actually like it.) Legumes? No. But I miss the small, sugary things. I miss having a piece of gum on the way to class; tea and (Paleo) cookies with my kids; sharing a Seattle Chocolates truffle bar with my husband on Friday nights. I miss apples. I miss feeling like summer was a fresh-fruit free-for-all: peaches, nectarines, watermelon, blackberries. *** This would be easy if I were consistently feeling awesome. I feel like I could live with any level of restriction, as long as I felt great. But I feel...less-than-great. If I'm avoiding less-healthy foods because they make me feel less-than-great, but I already feel less-than-great, I feel like the restriction is pointless. I'm tired of pushing this rock up the hill. *** I binged again. (On turkey, beef meatballs, cantaloupe, and almonds, for all you eating disorder voyeurs out there.) It was a classic case of "The F--- Its." F---, I don't care. I'm going to binge. And it felt great—for about 90 seconds. The funny thing: I kept trying to check in with myself, identify what emotion I might be feeling (and wishing I weren't feeling) but all I could come up with was "hungry." How do you feel? "Hungry." What's going on? "I'm hungry." Not helpful, mind. Not helpful. But: I eyed the cookies in the freezer and didn't eat them. I thought about the chocolate hanging out in the pantry, but I didn't touch it. (I didn't even look at it.) Progress? I don't know. Now indont feel hungry anymore. I feel stupid. Is that better than feeling hungry? Or "hungry"? Maybe. Hashtag, struggling. *** One more thing, and then I'm done for the day: When I see people complaining about "only" losing 10 lbs. in their 30 days, I want to smack them. I would KILL to lose 10 lbs. on Whole30. Ten pounds in a month?! Are you kidding me?! The only time I ever lost that kind of weight, I was eating...well, I probably shouldn't say what I was eating. But it was not Whole30 template, I'll tell you that! I understand that people have 30, 40, 50+ pounds they'd like to shift, and ten seems like a drop in the bucket. I know: I spent my teens and early 20s 40-60 lbs overweight. But on my last Whole30, I gained six pounds (and it wasn't the binge-ridden 30 this one has been). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Day 22 Thank heaven my stomach settled down in time for class tonight. It took a lot—a lot, a lot—of energy to get out of the mirror, so to speak, and not pick myself apart. The arm jiggle, the new lip of fat that's starting to spill over the top of my leotard (especially in the back), the lack of any sort of waist... I kept trying to replace the scrutinizing with actual, useful corrections. Offer the foot, stretch through the backs of the knees, think of getting taller as you lift the leg... It worked about half the time. I love ballet, but I hate trying to make my mesomorph body look right doing it. It feels impossible. Then again, Carrie Imler has a similar body type, and she's one of the most powerful, controlled, exciting ballerinas I've ever had the privilege to watch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 It's Day 23. One more week. I dreamed about cupcakes last night. They were sticky-sweet, and so not worth it. Whole30 food dreams (i.e. stress dreams) are the best/worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fmr_sailor Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 So sorry to hear you're not feeling well, that you're not feeling like you want to be at this point. Were you a dancer before husband/kids? My dream when I was seven was to dance on Broadway. I can't sing for sh*t, so dancing was my only chance. My mother told me I should have something else to "fall back on." Well, I ended up with nothing. However, Zumba has given me my last chance to get paid to dance without having to take my clothes off. Lol, I love it. But even when I have felt ok with my body all day, sometimes when I put on my Zumba clothes, I feel fat and too smushy. But when the lights go down and the music starts..... I just let go and enjoy the music and movement so much! But I teach facing my class and not the mirror, so I don't have the chance to scrutinize myself. Take care of you. Think about the worst thing you've said to yourself about your appearance.... Would you say that to someone else? Probably not. Be kind to yourself. Feel better! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Thank you, Erica. I really appreciate it. I danced as a child, until about age 11. I was passionate about it, but I was heavy-to-overweight from about age 7 on up. And it just crushed my confidence. Unfortunately, the adults in my life weren't very supportive or attuned to my feelings, so I quit. It's my one real, honest-to-goodness regret, quitting ballet when I did. I probably thought about that decision most days for 20 years. Talk about u digested pockets of pain! At least I'm dancing again now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Day 23 The Timeline talks about Kill All the Things: today was Do All the Things! Two shopping trips with kids in tow, washed the kitchen cabinets, changed the couch and chair covers, caught up on e-mail, made some plans with my dad for home renovations, made almost two gallons of pickles, made muffins for the kids, folded two baskets of laundry...plus all the usual beds, meals, tidying and so on. B: Braised beef short ribs Beefsteak tomato Avocado (yes, the FODMAPiest of FODMAPS)* Kombucha L: Chicken breast and sautéed zucchini (a boatload) Two fried eggs S: Fried egg Carrots (cooked) Kimchi and sauerkraut D: Swedish meatballs with gravy Green beans Baked sweet potato Pickle Hydration: Lots of filtered and seltzer water (about 140 fl oz all together) Exercise: None, but see above BM: After breakfast, a Type 6+ on the Bristol Stool Chart (Yes, I'm going to start recording my poop progress—it's the only thing [other than my eating disordered thoughts] that never normalizes on Whole30. I'm hoping to fix that.) *On second thought, apples are probably the FODMAPiest FODMAP. They fall under the Fructose, Oglios, and Polyols categories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Day 24 I Did Most of the Things today...until my energy tanked post-dinner. I was remarkably patient all day, and had a couple of "parenting win!" moments, but after 12+ hours of being patient and kind and moving at preschooler speed, I was done. Interestingly, my daughter seems to be weaning. Slowly. She's funny: I've been setting some limits ("we can nurse after we pick up the toys") and she seems to decide, "meh, not worth it." B: Beef short ribs, romaine (cooked) Two fried eggs Homebrewed kombucha L: Leftover Swedish meatballs and green beans, diced celery (cooked) Baked sweet potato Avocado Kimchi S: Bone broth with coconut cream and curry paste D: Roast chicken (drumstick, thigh, and wing) Roasted mushrooms Cheater creamed spinach (chopped frozen spinach with homemade mayo) After-dinner: Half a glass of Gingerberry kombucha (in a wine glass, of course) Hydration: 160 fl oz Exercise: 1/2 hour elliptical BM: Mid-morning, Type 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Day 25 I made it through a birthday BBQ this evening with hardly a thought of abandoning my Whole30. I reminded myself: 1. I'm almost there! There's ZERO point in quitting now. 2. There's pot roast, carrots, and potatoes waiting at home. 3. I'm here to socialize and catch up with friends (which I did). I felt a little awkward not eating, but whatever. I can live with feeling awkward for a couple hours. My energy was low today. I sat on my butt and watched TV instead of doing the cleaning and organizing is planned, but I'm at peace with that. My body is working hard to heal. B: Turkey and zucchini, topped with a fried egg Kombucha (home-brewed) L: Chicken breast, green beans, and sweet potato topped with green curry sauce (just coconut cream and green curry paste—"curry in a hurry") Home-fermented pickle S: Strawberry kombucha (home-brewed) D: Pot roast with mustard New potatoes, carrots Hydration: 130 fl oz Exercise: 1/2 hour elliptical BMs: Mid-morning, Type 2 Early afternoon, Type 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I've just been reading your log and it sounds like it hasn't been the smoothest ride for you. I'm anticipating hit my rut but I'm only on Day 3. You are so close! Good for you for staying strong all this time. I hope you don't mind I'd like to ask you... how do you prepare your bok choy and chicken liver? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Hi, Shawie. You're right: it's been rough, but I have a lot going on health-, stress-, and life-wise, so I knew it wouldn't be smooth sailing (and it takes a lot longer than 30 [or 60] days to heal an eating-disordered brain), but I'm getting there! Bok choy I cook all kinds of ways. My favorite (and the easiest) is just to shred it up and sautée it in some oil. It takes about five minutes that way. It's also good roasted in the oven. Baby bok choy is great cut in half and grilled (I don't have an outdoor grill, so I use my George Foreman for this and it does a great job). Chicken livers...I'm trying to learn to like them, but so far I've just been forcing myself to eat them because liver is amazing. I've made the crispy fried chicken livers from Well Fed 2 and didn't care for them, so right now I'm sticking to pan-frying them plain. I may try mixing them in to meatballs/meatloaf next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Day 26 Some NSVs for Sunday: • still feeling really good about not eating chips/treats/mystery meat last night • my bloating is much improved • my hair is crazy soft. I don't know if that's a Whole30 thing, but I'll take it • still in Do All The Things mode! • my anxiety around hunger is waning B: Eggs, mushrooms, spinach, coconut oil Coconut matcha latte L: Leftover Swedish meatballs, zucchini, sweet potato, coconut oil Home-brewed kombucha D: Pork ribs with blackberry barbecue sauce Romaine-and-tomato salad Home-fermented pickle Hydration: 100 fl oz Exercise: 1/2 hour elliptical BM: None Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Day 27 Almost done with this one. Wow. A few observations from today, mostly unrelated: • I feel like I'm more patient than I was just a little while ago. Today was stressful and I handled it pretty well. • My waist is back! • I ate a banana with lung, and it was the sweetest, most delicious thing in the world. • My upper back is crazy-sore. I blame tension. • I keep finding myself wanting to EAT ALL THE PROTEIN. I hope that's all right and that I'm not eating too much protein. I know protein is the macronutrient that everyone seems to be cool with (whether you're low-fat, low-carb, or what have you), but too much of anything is bad, so... • Ballet is magical. I wish I could take class every day. B: Barbecue pork ribs Zucchini with coconut oil Silky Gingered Zucchini Soup (Well Fed 2) Mid-morning: Matcha with 1 Tbsp coconut cream L: Pot roast, potatoes, carrots The Best Banana OMG Kombucha S: Pickle Chicken, zucchini, and carrots with ghee D: Roast turkey, sautéed kale, baked sweet potato Post-ballet: Kombucha Hydration: 140 fl oz Exercise: 1 hour ballet class BM: Late morning, Type 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 Day 28 I was sick in the night last night. I never actually vomited, but I really thought I might several times. This morning, my sulphury burps are back, along with some serious abdominal pain. I suspect SIBO. FODMAPs are no joke. I realized that I'd let some onion, garlic, and a few other things work their way back in (because I thought I was better), but it's not that simple. It's cumulative. A little onion here, some blackberries* there, a few ounces of sweet potato...and suddenly I'm sick again *The Whole30 shopping list lists blackberries as low-FODMAP, but other resources list them as being high in Polyols. So...I don't know. I'll definitely be starting a post-30 (really 60!) log, and I'm going to track not just meals, but portion sizes. I think it will be helpful to know, for example, that one cup of zucchini is okay, but three cups is trouble. That sort of thing. Today was a full-on sick day, with my digestive flare-up. I did the best I could with food, but it wasn't textbook Whole30, that's for sure. B: Pot roast, potatoes, carrots L: Turkey breast, bone broth, kombucha D: 1-1/2 small bananas Square of quiche (with zucchini, peppers, olives, chicken, anchovies, and Italian herbs) Hydration: Not enough - maybe 1 liter? Exercise: No BM: Afternoon, Type 2+ Evening, Type 1 followed by Type 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Day 29 I'm still feeling sick. I'm scared to eat anything. I want rice, but that's bad news for SIBO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fmr_sailor Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Day 29 I'm still feeling sick. I'm scared to eat anything. I want rice, but that's bad news for SIBO. Sorry you're sick. Hate it for you. What is SIBO? Are you continuing after July with Whole30 eating? You mentioned 60.... Or did you do a Whole30 in June also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 What is SIBO? Are you continuing after July with Whole30 eating? You mentioned 60.... Or did you do a Whole30 in June also? Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth, a bacterial colonization of the small intestine. These are the guys that are supposed to colonize the large intestine, and only the large intestine. The symptoms are really gross. I haven't been tested for SIBO specifically, but my doctor has mentioned IBS-D, and SIBO goes with that often. Plus, when I have a flare-up, I get the most foul-smelling/-tasting belches...that has been my big SIBO clue. (SIBO also turns up in people recovering from bulimia and binge-eating disorder, because messing with your food means messing with your gut health. I am a food-messer. Recovering food-messer.) After July, I'm going to be mostly Whole30, yes. At least until my cycle comes back normally. I did this to heal my hormones, and consistency is key there. I'm looking into SIBO-specific dietary resources, and most of those point to Paleo, AIP Paleo, SCD (the Specific Carbohydrate Diet), and the low-FODMAP diet. Fortunately, there's a lot of overlap with Whole30 with all of those. No one recommends the Sugar, Grains, and Dairy diet for SIBO. And yes, tomorrow will be Day 60 of Whole30 eating. I started the count over on July 1 because I weighed myself that morning, and technically—technically—the scale is a restart. But, weigh-in aside, this will have been a Whole60. I'm pretty pleased about that, despite being sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 PS For anyone following along and wondering why I'm getting sicker on a Whole60, three things: 1. When I do Whole30, I eat a lot of wonderful, whole foods that aren't a major part of of my food-life otherwise (sweet potatoes, zucchini, avocado, coconut products, the list goes on) and some of those things tend to be pretty FODMAPy. I know from previous Whole30 reintroduction periods that a little bit of most things triggers no reaction with me. I also know that I like to live on leftovers, and I tend to Groundhog Day a meal or food 'til I can't stand the sight of it. So on Whole30, I naturally up my servings of Whole30 foods that might be perfectly healthy for someone else but give me a reaction. 2. Stress. Enough said. Okay, there's a little more to it than that, but the details don't matter so much. In short, my Adult Life Stuff has been especially difficult over these past two months. 3. The Behavior/Psychological components of the program are real—and they can be really hard to tackle. I don't think of myself as an "emotional eater" but I felt my gut-brain crying "I need food!" more than once after a highly-charged situation. I reached for almond butter after a fight, not to "stuff feelings" but to make serotonin. That "I need food"-not-related-to-hunger feeling is a cry for feel-good neurotransmitters, and that makes breaking the food-mood cycle so challenging. Furthermore, many of my in-the-moment, mood-boosting go-to foods aren't the most gut-friendly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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