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Collateral "Damage"


Jessmarie84

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So I'm currently on day 16 of my Whole30 and going strong (no major results yet but I'm optimistic), but I'm concerned about my husband.  In case it's relevant, we're both 30 and relatively healthy, but coming off of a pretty unhealthy diet of cereal, pastas and processed foods.  He's supportive of what I'm doing, especially if I do all the cooking (which, under the circumstances, I don't mind).  He eats whatever I put in front of him and does his own thing when I'm not around.  I've encouraged him more than once to try it with me, but for a variety of reasons he's not up to it, at least not now.  However, I think he's experiencing some of the early side effects that I had - he's been extra tired lately, major headaches, and way hungrier than usual despite all the meat, fat, fruits and veggies we're eating.  He never eats breakfast, but that's not new (believe me, I've tried) so the majority of his calories come from the dinner we have together.  Is it possible that eliminating the nasty stuff from that meal alone would be enough for him to feel withdrawals?  Maybe since it was a less drastic change for him (only adjusting one meal), he's experiencing the results more slowly and they're just now really hitting him?  I feel like he won't get over the hump into the more comfortable fat-burning mode if he isn't following the rules more completely, so it's like he's stuck in a permanent carb flu.  Also, he's a mechanic, so he's on his feet all day and may be more apt to feel those things than someone with a more sedentary job, IDK.

 

Has anyone else had a family member go through this while you were the one eating clean?  Maybe it's just a coincidence, but if so it's quite a coincidence; none of this stuff is normal for him, and I can't think of anything else in our lives/habits that has changed.  Any suggestions, other than the obvious (he should get his rear in gear and do his own Whole30! ;) )?

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If his biggest meal is dinner, and he's not eating breakfast, how much is he eating for lunch? I think the key, whether you get him to eat W30 style or not, may just be to get more food in him.

 

You could try packing up two meals' worth of food for him to take with him and hope he'd eat it throughout the day. Does he sit down and eat something for lunch? If so, pack up a bunch of leftovers. I'd opt for cooked foods, not salad-y type stuff, since he's active most of the day. If you have a way to keep it warm, or he has a way to reheat it, pack him a baked potato or sweet potato with a stew or chili or taco meat to go on top of it, with mayo or guac or olives or some combo of those for fats. Maybe include cut raw vegetables, some kind of dip, and grilled chicken or burger patties or meatballs or hard boiled eggs for him to have throughout the day if you think he'd snack on those things if he had them, or pack just things like that if he won't sit down and take a lunch break but would grab food throughout the day.

 

If he won't eat something like that if you pack it, at least encourage him to eat more of something. Do find out what he is eating for lunch, if you don't already know -- if he's sort of trying to cut back on carbs (which he might do, thinking that's getting closer to W30-ish), it may be even more important that he gets a starchy vegetable at dinner.

 

Also be sure he's salting his food (especially if he used to eat a lot of processed foods and now isn't), and that he's drinking plenty of water all day.

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>does his own thing when I'm not around

>Also, he's a mechanic

 

These 2 points are the key to the whole thing. I've worked a few blue-collar jobs, and unless you're bringing an insulated cooler with you on the job, they are not conducive to Whole30-style eating at all.  From the time available to eat, the physical labor, dirt, stress, influences of coworkers, prevalence of crap food with food trucks coming by at break time, vending machines, fast food runs, etc. ... unless he's committed to an official Whole30 I think he'll just hang out in that no man's land between a clean slate and a processed carby haze.

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Thanks for your responses.  I haven't been packing his lunches (we both work full time and we have a toddler, so keeping myself fed on Whole30 has been challenge enough  :) ) but I know that most days, he just packs a sandwich, either PB&J or some sort of lunch meat/cheese combo.  Occasionally he goes out for lunch, and usually that means a burger and soda.  If we have a dinner that he especially likes, and we have a lot of leftovers, he'll take that with him instead.  He takes a 30 minute lunch and sits down to eat it, so there's the potential for good food if it's available.  So, maybe something I can do is make an extra effort to double and triple recipes to be sure we have leftovers for him to take.  We're all rushed in the morning, so unless he hated whatever it is, he'll take something ready-made any day.  And yes, he does have access to a fridge and microwave to heat it up.

 

On the subject of doubling recipes, I've struggled sometimes because since this way of eating is new and I'm constantly trying new recipes, there are inevitably some that either don't turn out right, or I just don't particularly like.  If I've doubled the recipe and planned for leftovers and it doesn't go over well, now I've wasted half my ingredients and I have to force myself through a bad meal twice, or make another plan for the next day.  Not the biggest deal in the world - it's a trial and error thing - but it's still frustrating.  Ok, interlude over.

 

I realize I sound like I'm trying to fix the problems of a grown a** man and ultimately it's up to him to decide to eat well or suffer the consequences - it's just that I have access to this forum and all of your lovely advice so I figured I'd take advantage.  :D  Also, I'm a little bit afraid that if he decides based on his current poor experience that this way of eating isn't for him, he'll never be willing to try it 100%.  It would be so much easier for me to continue on this path, not to mention help our daughter grow up eating well, if he's on board too.  He has actually said that one of his reasons for not doing it is that he's afraid he'll always be hungry.  He's 6'2 and active, and I'm 5'1 with a desk job, so our fuel needs don't exactly match.  I've explained how much he can eat, but then he gets overwhelmed by the prep work (not to mention cost of all that food) and we're back to square one.  Sigh.

 

Thanks for your thoughts - I'll try making more leftovers to see if changing his lunch helps.  If it does and he feels better, maybe he'll be more apt to give it a real go.  And if he does, it'll no longer be just my thing, and he'll have to pick up some of the cooking slack  ;) .

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For doubling foods, I don't know exactly what kind of things you're cooking, but you don't necessarily have to double a whole recipe. If you're making chicken and trying a new seasoning, do a recipe that way, but then cook another batch of chicken with plainer seasonings in another pan in the same oven at the same time. You can also do things like cook ahead for the week one day on the weekend -- grill a bunch of chicken and burger patties, brown a pound or two of ground beef (or turkey, or pork, or whatever ground meat you like). Roast a couple of pans of vegetables, bake a few potatoes or sweet potatoes. If you've had the oven on to make supper, throw something else in there to cook while you eat to have for the next day. Slow cookers are great too -- you can put food in at night and wake up to a hot meal, or start them as you leave in the morning and get home to something ready to go. Here's a description of a weekly cookup that might be helpful, and meal ideas that don't require a recipe -- maybe they'll give you some ideas for things you can have on hand to make up a good lunch. 

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