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Reintro Day 9 - craving vs missing some foods


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These past few days I've been missing some foods. Like, in a sad way thinking about whether I'll eat them again. For example, I was at the Adelaide RV show yesterday on a beautiful summer day and I was recalling my previous visit to the show 2 years ago when I stopped for a break midday and had an affogato (a dollop of ice cream in an espresso) and a lamington (white cake slice dipped in chocolate glaze and dusted in coconut). It was lovely - sitting under a sprawling gum tree listening to the rosellas and, basically, mainlining sugar. Yesterday midday, I refilled my water bottle from the warmish tap and carried on. 

The difference is more than just do I eat that or not - and it isn't a craving. I didn't want the sugar yesterday - my dragon is behaving quite nicely and I am happy with that. And, I didn't return home and deep dive into a substitue fix so, that's not it. But I feel a little loss. Like I am grieving sugar and all its related sweet treats because my intention is to not eat it ever again - like never. But, I am going to miss it.

I'm an abstainer - there is no moderation for me - never has been. I know from all the years that I maintained my 85+ lb weight loss that I need to stay away from triggering foods. And, I know that, yes menopause has been hard, but the reason I regained those 30lb has as much to do with an afternoon snack of affogato and lamington as in does hormonal craziness.  I also know that right now, I feel great. My energy is amazing. My stamina is outstanding. I feel less anxious and my mood is elevated. I also don't have waves of hormonal heat wash over my menopausal body out of the blue. And, I'm losing weight - how much I don't know  but I can feel it leave my body. So, I have to go back to abstaining from the things I know I don't need to reintroduce to experiment on - sugar is a no go. The W30 talks about guidelines for determining if something is worth it but - when it comes to my sugar dragon, nothing is worth her reawakening.

So, I'm having a little sadness about missing my old frenemy. Random thoughts come into my head like "oh, no more Dairy Queen peanut buster parfaits!" and I feel a bit sad. 

 

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That's understandable, the loss of anything that usually gives pleasure (even if it also brings pain - our brains are good at missing that bit!) will being grief. That's a good way of describing it. And our culture is SO centred around food, that there's a knock on effect of missing the social or environmental situation that comes with the food. 

I'm glad you're getting good weather!!

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Such great weather! Much nicer than the repeated poundings of snow and ice back home. yes - I haven't had to deal much with social expectation around food. Although my kids wanted pizza last night but I didn't because I still, at that point, hadn't reintroduced grain or dairy. They had pizza - I did not :) I did have avo-toast this morning though - no immediate consequences. Hamburgers this evening, with bun then evaluate tomorrow and Monday.

Off to the beach tomorrow - who can be sad at the beach? B)

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