Day 15 - My relationship is falling apart

[pdxcher]

Hi all,

I was just wondering if this is normal or what you may feel is going on. BF and I are doing this together. He's been great, helping me out with prep and cooking. I know I'm feeling a bit irate because he won't help me with menu or shopping. Or let me rephrase that, he hasn't helped me; he may be willing. I noticed we are fighting about every single little thing. We get upset about a "look" or a "tone". I noticed I'm just sick of washing dishes, cleaning up, prepping, cooking, meal planning, etc. It's all very overwhelming. That could be why I'm so irate, but that doesn't explain his mood. And if anyone is going to ask, it's not PMS, well, at least on my end it's not. I can't vouch for him. LOL. We've almost broken up twice already and I'm ready to go to a hotel and take time away from him.

I know it's not 100% the W30, but I'm starting to think it's just aggravating the relationship more. I'm good with our little quibbles. Usually we just walk away from one another and cool down. But I dunno, seriously, he gave me a look the other night and I went off on him. I commented about something this morning and he went from 0-100! It's crazy! Oh! I do know he's craving sweets and bread a TON!!! I'm actually surprised that I don't really have those cravings (those are my two fave things). I read about sugar withdrawals and for the most part, minus being irritable, I don't have anything else. W30 has been going well, I feel good, been sleeping soooo well. It's weird how it's affecting our bodies (only needing to eat because our bodies need the food vs wanting to eat).

Thoughts? Is it W30? What can we do to save our relationship? Go to  McDonald's? LOL. Sorry, had to.

Thanks.

 

[SugarcubeOD]

Unfortunately this isn't a relationship forum so I'm going to focus on the food part.  I have never heard of Whole30 breaking up a stable relationship, altho the stress of doing something like this could impact a less than stable relationship I suppose.  

Are you both eating to the template? Do you add fat to your meals?  Being that irritable this far along is an indication that you're probably not eating enough.  Also, the insane craving of sweets at this point still tells me the same thing.

As far as helping, I don't understand why people assume that food appears via magic, so perhaps you need to work on dividing up the tasks... I'm probably the wrong person to ask about that particular thing because I have no patience for that kind of thing... but you said you haven't asked him and giving the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he assumes you don't want help... 

[pdxcher]

Hi and thanks. I understand this isn't a relationship forum, I was just wondering if any others have had issues there. It's to the point where I have to decide if W30 is making it worse and we need to stop, or what. Figured I'd ask and see if anyone else has had the same issue, maybe how to combat it, etc.

When you said, "eating enough" do you  mean eating enough food or fats? I'm thinking I'm going to have to up his food intake. He typically eats about twice what I do, but not at one sitting so I forget that he's eating more (he'll eat about the same at dinner, but then he eats a "second dinner" about 2 hours later). I have told him if he's going to eat a snack, what he needs; him following through is a different story as I've seen him eat an apple (only) as a snack.

As for helping, maybe I misspoke, but I have asked, and he gives me excuses. I suppose my patience has run out too.

 

5 minutes ago, SugarcubeOD said:

Unfortunately this isn't a relationship forum so I'm going to focus on the food part.  I have never heard of Whole30 breaking up a stable relationship, altho the stress of doing something like this could impact a less than stable relationship I suppose.  

Are you both eating to the template? Do you add fat to your meals?  Being that irritable this far along is an indication that you're probably not eating enough.  Also, the insane craving of sweets at this point still tells me the same thing.

As far as helping, I don't understand why people assume that food appears via magic, so perhaps you need to work on dividing up the tasks... I'm probably the wrong person to ask about that particular thing because I have no patience for that kind of thing... but you said you haven't asked him and giving the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he assumes you don't want help... 

 

[MeadowLily]

http://whole30.com/tag/friends-and-family/

Here's all of the Friends/Family articles written by Melissa.  

A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.

I wouldn't dream of  dragging anyone along with me. I've been at for 3 years. Alone. I encourage, motivate and manage myself.  I cook, clean and continue to make 3 wonderful meals aday.  It's what most people have to do if they have a family....for decades.

Let them eat cupcakes and candy, nachos and chips....I won't.  I don't. But they can.

There are homes all over this world filled with family members who won't eat this way for 3 days, let alone 30.  It's alright.  A completely judgment free zone.  I wouldn't drag a horse to water or make any demands on anyone who doesn't want it as badly as I want it. 

Oooo, I have to watch them eat cinnamon rolls, donuts, cookies, cakes, boxes of candy and all kinds of treats. They don't bat an eyeball over it.  

I don't pout about the things I do without.  I keep tooling along and you know what, not having T2 diabetes is soooo worth it.

[slc_melissa]

Regarding your question eating food or fats, probably both. 

I'm in no position to offer relationship advice, but why is it on you ".... to up his food intake" or remind him to eat?  It's on him to eat to satiety.  Only he will know how is body is feeling.  

Based on what you're describing, not helping with basic human functions for food (prep/cleanup) would be a huge red flag in a relationship to me that has nothing to do with the whole 30.