Mama Pajama

Good Morning, @ladyshanny - thank you for the information. I was merely sharing my journey/struggle/story, not looking to 'drive traffic', but I don't have to have a voice on this forum. I get that no one is interested in me or my life, thanks for the reminder that I'm not only fat and ugly, I'm also supposed to remain invisible, and keep my mouth shut. my mistake. I will delete all of my posts, and never post here again. sorry to have bothered everyone. goodbye ~

hey, you know what's really messed up? the fact that I think I put 20 of those pounds I lost back on...can that be true? it seems unlikely, and yet...

I had a bit of a rough week, and rather than list my shortcomings, I'm just going to post my blog, and leave it there. more next week, hopefully...

Yes! and it doesn't feel like it Should be! it feels like it should be the easiest thing in the world (and for some people, I bet it is), but it's hard (for me)! the right instincts just don't come naturally, or I just haven't been doing them long enough for them to become habit, yet. but I guess you just need to be in it for the long game in order to see the benefits, and Keep seeing them. I browsed a bunch of recipes today to see if I couldn't maybe get myself interested in something new to give that morning meal some more appeal!

I had a crappy week, and I wrote about it here: https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/07/relapse.html I had my teen take a pic of me in the same dress I was wearing in the first photo I shared to see if I could tell the difference in my weight, and I really can't, which is kind of disappointing, but...I know I lost 30 pounds, and that's encouraging. in fact, i want to get on a scale again, and see if I lost any more. maybe even start checking my blood sugar regularly so I learn a bit about how that all works, too.

@magsrose - maybe add a snack in the afternoon? there are days when I need to be up early, and then stay up late, so...sometimes, you just need to eat. enjoy your brunch! I've had an interesting week. I spent a good deal of it sick, with my stomach painfully bloated, digestive issues, and nausea. it's like I finally gave my body what it wanted and needed for 30 days, and after it was done rebelling over wanting the crap, now it's used to the yummy goodness, and doesn't want anything but that. it's not like I ate anything too crappy, either, but man, those crackers? not worth it. the grocery store birthday cake? SO not worth it. I was doing great with my reintroductions, and staying on track, but then I came on here to check in, and reading about how some people went all-out at celebratory barbecues, I used it as the excuse I needed to give my permission to hop fully off the wagon, and I paid for it. trying to be more careful, now, because I can't afford to be that sick that often. weekly blog: https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/07/relapse.html thanks for all the recipe ideas, and general support!

@GoJo09 - not condescending at all, I hear that you're doing what you can to help, and I appreciate it! for the most part, I don't eat during the day while my teen is at school, but have dinner with him in the evening, because there needs to be food for Him. as a growing teen, he needs access to good food as often as possible, and to not feel like he can't eat because there isn't enough - so I forgo meals to make sure there IS enough, because really, there isn't. now that it's summer, and he's home all day every day, we don't get the benefit of his being provided free meals at school due to our poverty, and the added meals really strain my budget. we visit the food pantry regularly, and that helps somewhat, but it's not like they're stocking Whole30 compliant ingredients, so I make due with what I can get. often, it's not enough to feed me through the week. this week, I got some potatoes, onions, three carrots, and a 1/2 pound steak. if I eat the way Whole30 advises, that equals maybe two meals. you see?

it certainly Could be food boredom...and I Did say I was thinking of 'celebrating' my completing the Whole30 by taking a break from eating so much food so often, but it's also poverty, and my lack of ability to Afford food, and having a teen to feed, to boot. I appreciate your suggestions, but I don't eat tuna, or own a slow cooker, and sadly, the $2 I have in my bank account won't buy me much of anything. it's a great program, for those who can actually afford to purchase the foods they want when they want, but for people like me, it's a bit out of reach. I wouldn't have been able to do it if I hadn't had several angels step in and buy me groceries...

thanks everyone! here's something I wrote today: several days later, and once again out of food. I mean, there's food, but there's very little meat, barely any veggies, and enough 'off plan' food to fill in the gap, but I'm not eating it. nope. no pasta or dairy for me, thanks. and it's HOT so I don't want to cook anything. now that my Whole30 is over, I've basically stopped eating...yesterday I didn't have breakfast, had eggs with some leftover slaw for lunch, and two raw carrots with pesto for dipping for dinner. I haven't eaten yet today, and it's 4pm. I was 'supposed' to reintroduce non-gluten grains yesterday, but I didn't, which is odd, because I was kind of looking forward to a big bowl of brown rice, but again - it's too hot to cook, so I didn't. sigh...now I'm thinking this program may have triggered my mild eating disorder issues, and adding that into my lack of funds, I may be in some trouble in the near future in terms of my diet and health. I'll try to work with it, but it would also be nice to lose a ridiculous amount of weight really quickly the way I used to when I was a dumb kid. you'd think I might have learned something, but alas...dumb kids apparently grow into dumb adults.

several days later, and once again out of food. I mean, there's food, but there's very little meat, barely any veggies, and enough 'off plan' food to fill in the gap, but I'm not eating it. nope. no pasta or dairy for me, thanks. and it's HOT so I don't want to cook anything. now that my Whole30 is over, I've basically stopped eating...yesterday I didn't have breakfast, had eggs with some leftover slaw for lunch, and two raw carrots with pesto for dipping for dinner. I haven't eaten yet today, and it's 4pm. I was 'supposed' to reintroduce non-gluten grains yesterday, but I didn't, which is odd, because I was kind of looking forward to a big bowl of brown rice, but again - it's too hot to cook, so I didn't. sigh...now I'm thinking this program may have triggered my mild eating disorder issues, and adding that into my lack of funds, I may be in some trouble in the near future in terms of my diet and health. I'll try to work with it, but it would also be nice to lose a ridiculous amount of weight really quickly the way I used to when I was a dumb kid. you'd think I might have learned something, but alas...dumb kids apparently grow into dumb adults.

I finished my Whole30 on June 30, yay me! I reintroduced legumes on day 31, no problem, and I'm back to eating 'according to the plan' for a bit. I'm in no hurry to reintroduce much of anything else, but I probably will, just to test out sensitivities. biggest win? I lost 30 pounds! I posted the entire journey to my blog, which I will link here in case anyone is interested in reading it. so very proud of myself! https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/06/food-journaling.html https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/06/moving-forward.html https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/06/tiger-blood.html https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-whole6.html https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/07/monday-130pm-leftover-spaghetti-squash.html

I have a lot of non-scale victories (all listed on my final blog post for this week), but what's really bringing it home for me is that I lost 30 pounds! kind of amazing, really, but I'm still really fat, so...I'm just going to keep at it a bit longer. I did reintroduce legumes, but that's it so far, and I'm in no hurry to reintroduce dairy, sugar, or gluten containing grains. keep in touch, peeps, I'm going to be posting on this thread, and possibly others, in order to keep myself involved and on track. I'm not going to do another round just yet, because it really was a strain on my finances, but I'm also not going to go back to the 'bread and cheese' cycle I was on, so...stay tuned! https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/07/monday-130pm-leftover-spaghetti-squash.html

congratulations, everyone! thanks for the support, and the recipes, I really appreciate it. as much as I want to weigh myself, I don't own a scale, so I have to wait until Monday and pop into my doc's office. that way, I'll have my starting weight (from my last visit) and my ending weight done on the same scale, and I can ask them if they'll consider redoing my bloodwork, so we can see if I managed to affect any other changes, as well. hope to see you around on the other forums, or here, or somewhere else - I am so happy we've been here for each other!

just four more meals! who's still in from the 1st? who made it the whole 30 days? let's have a check in tomorrow! (and when was exercise night, I missed it?)

yes! day 28! working on our re-introductions! I've been thinking about how I want to 'celebrate' completing my Whole30, and the truth is, I don't want to eat, cook, or clean for a few days! seriously. I need a break. the 'three meals a day' has been really hard these past few days, and I had a couple of 'two meals a day' days in a row. I want all the things - ice cream, dinner out, cheeseburger and fries, chocolate, whipped cream...but I also don't want to mess up the cool, new ecosystem I have going in my gut. I'm thinking of staying as 'Whole30' as I can afford, for a bit, and just seeing how that goes. I'm also really anxious to get on a scale, because I feel like my belly is smaller. it's still huge, by all accounts, and I'm still massively overweight, but maybe not as massively overweight as I was on June 1st. my blood sugar/insulin or whatever you call it when you use a glucometer is pretty evenly in a good range, and I feel good, so, why stop? maybe just one square of an organic endangered species dark chocolate bar? probably not. I'll probably do the re-introductions just like they say in the book, and make my next decision from there. good luck everyone ~ the finish line is in view!