ShadowInTheKitchen

A good way to put it. I broke up with booze about 5 years ago, am mostly only doing the special occasion drinks now. It was definitely one of the best decisions I ever made. I was having trouble saying no when prompted to drink, which was every single day, so I developed a few boundary statements. Something like "I love my body, I love having a healthy body, a healthy liver, I don't like to poison myself", etc and "if I am pressured to drink I'll say no, thank you" just once. If I'm asked again I will say that I already gave my answer. I had to practice my boundary statement to myself until it became second nature. Now it's much easier to say no to other people, and not drinking has become the norm to me so it doesn't feel like a habit now when I do drink, it feels like a special occasion.

W30 R3 Thursday August 13, 2020 M1: steamed green beans, kale, prosciutto, 2 eggs, ghee Snack: Kit Kat bar and 1/2 Rolo bar Snack: Reese peanut butter cup, a bit of ice cream M2: potato-egg salad Snack: vanilla ice cream M3: carrot, leftover pork in non-compliant sauce Well I'm sliding down the slippery slope. I should know by now that when I start with sugar it doesn't end well. Sigh. It's not a total loss, my meals have been mostly compliant. That's a victory. One of my early goals was to be able to eat healthy balanced meals without having to put too much thought into it, and I'm doing that. Thinking back to how I felt about putting together compliant meals before I even started on this W30 thing, I've come a long way! I'm going away for a mini vacation this weekend, and I won't stay compliant, eating in restaurants for most of the next three days. But I will eat well. Fingers crossed

W30 R3 Wednesday August 12, 2020 M1: breakfast hash with leftover pork and potatoes, pineapple, kale, egg M2: green salad Snack: dates sandwiched between pecan halves M3: corn, leftover pork in non-compliant bbq sauce Snack: ice cream cone Starting over again tomorrow. That ice cream is rumbling in my belly and I'm feeling bloated and wondering was it worth it?

Oh that's tough, and on top of everything else you have going on. It's hard to understand the teenage brain. I wish you the best as you and your family work through this. Congrats on remaining sober.

W30 R3 Tuesday August 11, 2020 M1: diced sweet potato, kale, prosciutto and 2 eggs, all pan-fried in ghee M2: 2-egg potato salad with 1/2 white potato, PK avocado mayo, steamed green beans, pineapple spear, 1/2 banana and raspberries fruit cup Snack: pecans and dates Snack: Reese peanut butter cup M3: kalua pig https://nomnompaleo.com/post/111934821818/pressure-cooker-kalua-pig with white potatoes, green beans, cob of corn, pineapple spear NSV: I fell off the W30 wagon again, but climbed back on for M3 (I'm not avoiding corn on the cob for this W30) Whoops, I ate white potatoes for two meals in a row. Time to cut back on potatoes again. I'm trying to reduce having white potatoes to smaller portions occasionally. Last night I dreamed that my weight was up exactly 43 pounds LOL. I guess that peanut butter cup was haunting my sleep My son bought a bag full of them, and stored them in the pantry. I suppose he forgot? that I asked him kindly not to do that, the temptation is not something I want to have to deal with. I put the bag of treats in his room, out of my sight. I have fallen into the habit of posting my daily entries on the following morning. I'm going to make a conscious effort to get back to posting on the same day. Tomorrow is Day 1 again.

I’ve heard about your lockdown, and I think it’s working according to my source. Yes it’s harsh. This week I’ve been thinking about the benefits of tracking. It works, we all have come to know that. And it’s boring. But what if posting here for a few minutes a day (or tracking some other way), every day, for the rest of your life were to become something you do, like brushing your teeth or flossing, something that is boring and repetitive but that is undeniably good for you. Would that be worth it? I hope this is just another wee blip for you, and that your situation has already started to improve. You have already found yourself a tiny bit (or more) wiser about yourself, so take that NSV!

Thanks Mady. I didn't consider it a victory, but you are right, it is. I planned it, even though it was off-plan for Whole30, and that's one thing I'm eventually striving for, to be able to navigate the food courts, ice cream shops, junk food aisles etc without derailing my healthy self.

Your introspection is inspiring Brewer. You have come a long way in just one short week. You had a strong W30 foundation and I believe that was truly a blessing for when you just wanted to drown your thoughts in wine. Please know that I wish the best for you, and that I hope you continue with what you need to live your best. Good luck with the career change. Ugh long term care looks so tough, even more so right now with covid.

Welcome back!

W30 R3 Monday August 10, 2020 M1: kale & prosciutto pan-fried in ghee with 2 eggs, green beans, orange, blueberries M2: favourite green salad Snack: NewYork Fries topped with gravy and cheese curd poutine M3: zucchini noodles fried in avocado oil with garlic, topped with ground beef in marinara sauce with leftover chicken thighs and sauce mixed through NSV: No sugar today! This afternoon DD17 and I went shopping at the mall. Retail therapy for both of us. It's our usual routine to stop for poutine when at the mall, and today's choice to break my Whole30 was planned once we decided that the day was going well and we were far from done and so needed a break. I wanted more to have time with my daughter doing things we love rather than struggle to make a break time feel normal and fun. And so we enjoyed the fries with poutine. Tomorrow will be another Day 1...

W30 R3 Sunday August 9, 2020 M1: green beans, white potatoes, one egg, all pan-fried in ghee Snack: mixed nuts M2: favourite green salad M3: l/o chicken thighs in tomato veg sauce, white potatoes and onions fried in ghee, boiled carrots, steamed green beans NSV: I didn't eat any sugar today NSV: despite having two incredibly mentally stressful and frustrating days in a row, I remained compliant today. I did not bury my feelings in a tub of ice cream, or dull my emotions with junk food. I know that those things don't make me feel better in the long run, and making a conscious effort to feed my body well just helped me to feel better about myself, especially since my me had been battered over the past two days. I did it! Day 2 - Done

I love your goals <3 . Take care of your shoulder, no need to rush it. You've got lots of other stuff going on so let that shoulder heal. It's better to work on your core instead or do deadlifts with the barbell to reach your barbell goal, and give your shoulder 6 - 8 weeks from when the pain stops, imo from my experience.

This is interesting. I have thought for a long time that I'm addicted to sugar (in some way - not to negate true addiction - I just haven't found a better way to describe it yet), and you've given me a way to rethink things, that grains or other foods may be a gateway drug. With alcohol, I can limit myself, but the same doesn't happen with junk food. Thanks for reinforcing the need to do "a very careful and methodical reintroduction." I'm hoping this time will be more successful for me, that I will learn still more about myself when I get to the reintroduction phase again. It seems with each passing day I'm understanding more about why so many people re-do Whole30's. It's not necessarily because of personal failure, but rather to become more in touch with ourselves, in touch with what our bodies and minds need to live more wholly. Striving for Food Freedom through a healthy lifestyle.

W30 R3 Saturday August 8 M1: sweet potato hash with kale & prosciutto, 2 eggs Snack: dates, cashews, walnuts, pecans M2: favourite green salad M3: chicken thighs in tomato sauce https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/one-skillet-chicken-cacciatore-paleo-whole30/ with white potatoes on the side NSV: I did it, Day One - Done!

@Ginsky thanks! My first Whole30 was last Sept-Oct and I didn’t do the reintro part at all, but I did learn to prepare meals that didn’t rely on wheat or grains. I know wheat is problematic for me, I seem to be able to eat small amounts like one serving, but more than that at a time and my gi system gets out of its rhythm. After many false starts through the winter, I finished my second Whole30 in June of this year, and purposefully planned my sugar reintroduction, which went well at first. Then I just lost my self control, the sugar dragon took over and two weeks later I was eating mostly Whole 30 meals but also snacking uncontrollably on all things sweetened. I think there may be other foods that I need to be wary of, but testing these has got to wait again until I am off of sugar for a while, and remain off of it. But no, I haven’t permanently eliminated anything... yet. I know I need to curb the sugar dependence. It’s the biggest problem for me.