So I've Restarted the Whole 30 21 Times This Month! Now I'm Ready..I Hope.

[caycemom]

So I signed up, did 6 days of Whole 30, had a horrible cheat day and have restarted 21 times.  Now I'm ready to be serious about doing the Whole 30.  I'm tired of hurting.  Day One is tomorrow.

[GoJo09]

You know the old proverb - fall down seven times, get up eight!

[caycemom]

A little background on me.  I'll be 46 next month.  I have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis that I treat with biologics (injections).   My 76 yo father has been ill and recently relocated to where my sister and I live.  The stress for a few months was terrible.  The family dynamics with my dad and sister have not been good.  I grew up with an alcoholic dad and parents who didn't teach me or my sister how to fight fair with each other.  For a few months in 2012, I felt like I had regressed to an 8 year old!   I ate McDonald's, drank Mt. Dew, binged on cookies and milk and stopped exercising.  I am now 256pds, 5'6" and am tired of aching joints and fatigue.  Fortunately, my dad has settled in and my sister and I have a good working relationship now.

 

In addition to taking care of my dad as needed, I am married, have a pt job with my church.  I have 2 kids, at 10 yo energetic boy and a 15 yo girl who was diagnosed with early childhood on-set paranoid schizophrenia at age 11 .  In the period of 6 months, my out-going daughter became paranoid, withdrawn, depressed and misserable.  My bubbly girl has been replaced with a quiet, shy, awkward teen who struggles daily with negative voices that she tries to manage her illness.  Thanks to a good med combination, she is stable and functioning but will have to live with this awful illness for the rest of her life.   My daughter's illness and journey to get her stable and on the right meds almost did me in. 

 

I have been an avid cross-fitter until I was injured 1 1/2 years ago.  Despite my weight, I've been fit until the last year and a half.  I used to call myself the fattest fit person in my town, I was overweight but strong.  Now I can barely get out of bed in the morning because of joint pain.  My clothes are too tight.  I'm not setting a good example of health for my kids.  I'm 46 and am still using food as a drug to deal with stress.  That's probably pretty apparent by the number of times I have restarted the Whole 30.

 

I really, really want to have energy and be pain free.  Weight loss would be nice but I just want to feel better.  I'm hoping that I can be accountable for the next 30 days.  During this time period, I'll be traveling with my mom and son for 4 days so I know planning will be important.  I'm hoping you all can help me stay on track.

[LRM]

I am so moved by your story, and in awe of your ability to get back up and keep trying.  YOU WILL DO THIS!  I am also 46 years old and struggle with using food as a drug, especially during very stressful times.  I know how hard it can be, but it's important to remember that we are more powerful than a plate of food.  There are times when I need to remind myself of this as well. 

 

I want to wish you well on this journey.  It's a giant step towards wellness that goes beyond anything you can imagine.  Please keep going and please keep us posted.  All the best.  XO

 

Lisa

[caycemom]

Great start today but blew it this afternoon.  Starting again right now.  Wow, I've got an issue with carbs

 

Breakfast:  6 oz homemade kombucha (wasn't hungry)

 

Lunch:  roasted beets, left over grilled flank steak, roasted zucchini, roasted red peppers

 

Mid-afternoon:  2 scones and milk (was with a friend, not even thinking whole 30 or at least I didn't want to)

 

Dinner:  Haven't eaten yet.  Too full from mid-afternoon scone/milk experience.  Later tonight will have a spinach salad with balsamic vinegarette and olive oil dressing and some avocado.

 

Very tired today, probably why I was so lax this afternoon.  Going to a zumba class in a few to get my body moving.

 

Goal for tomorrow:  Get 9 hours sleep tonight.  Eat breakfast of protein/good fat so I won't have sugar lull in afternoon.  Got plenty of easy to get to paleo foods in the fridge so I'm set.  No scones anywhere!

[Jtandi]

thanks so much for sharing your personal story. I have a family member diagnosed with bipolar and with proper medication and treatment lives a totally normal life - you would never know unless told. I am so saddened by the fact that mental health in our country is less and less important when, with proper care and treatment, much of the mental illness could be easily controlled. so glad you found the right combination of medications for your daughter!

 

I think you hit the nail on the head with your kombucha breakfast. personally breakfast is my largest meal of the day. I eat 4 eggs and a healthy dose of sweet potato hash. my meals get smaller throughout the day. my personal opinion is that a whole30 is almost impossible if you are not eating a good breakfast to start your day within an hour of waking. even if you're not hungry. I NEVER ate breakfast before I changed the way I eat. now I am super cranky and irritated if I don't eat a good breakfast in the morning!

 

at some point you will be able to be around scones/etc...but not yet! I have one more suggestion but don't know if you would even have time with your full life - you said your dad is an alcoholic and food is your drug of choice. I highly recommend OA and finding a sponsor you can work with using whole30 as your guide. I am in recovery and use the 12 steps with my food issues because I am addicted to food, too.

 

good luck!

[LindaLee]

I totally "ditto" the above...

 

You made me laugh/cry with your title - I too have had those months when I restarted 20 times. I ended up with nearly two months of eating inordinate amounts of ice cream every single night. Gained weight, started hurting - I don't have diagnosed arthritis, but my Mom had rheumatoid arthritis, so it wouldn't surprise me if I were starting to develop some arthritic symptoms. I do have a very bad sacral joint and some intense spinal curvature that sends me to the chiropractor every week - I joke that I go to the chiropractor so I can do Crossfit. I feel your pain that you can't go anymore. I have had to boot myself to go light and focus on form, so I don't hurt myself and have to quit. 

 

I also echo the statements about breakfast and protein. The meal template calls for a palm-sized portion of protein surrounded by veggies, 1-2 healthy fat servings, and occasional fruit. Every. Single. Meal. If I don't have good protein at breakfast - usually it's a "hash" I make with ground turkey or beef and a mixture of starchy and other carbs (e.g., mushrooms, kale, squash or turnips) - I'm just useless the rest of the day. I've been chronically low on my fat, so I put an avocado in the mix too, plus a serving of olives (my favorite snack food). And carrots.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS! I just finished my first Whole30 after a year of trying, and now I'm trying a Whole60. This forum has helped me no end. Visit my log if you want, and I'll visit here! We can cheer each other on.

 

Hang in there!! 

[Guest]

How are you today?

[Selene]

What a moving story. And what a super human amount of stress you've experienced.

 

Let me join the chorus of: you can do this!

 

And also, echo those talking about the importance of breakfast. I quit drinking coffee as part of my Whole30 and I've often been tired in the morning. At some point I finally realized that the thing that gets me energized and ready to go is that protein-packed breakfast! It's my new coffee.

 

I hope that Whole 30'ing can help you feel better, but most importantly, however you do it, I hope you are able to get lots of rest, relaxation, and gentleness.