Deezah82 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 My husband is doing the Whole 30 to support me; he doesn't really think he'll get much out of it. I want to prove him wrong! Which means I want to make sure he's doing well on it. A little background--we've done shorter versions of the program before (24 days and a few week-long ones) just to reset our diets after a period of binge eating (usually due to holidays or vacations.) I generally follow the guidelines on a regular basis, though we both consume dairy and I indulge in off plan foods on occasion! When I cook for him, he is good. When he's on his own or we go out, he's pretty bad. On a typical day, he will have two protein shakes and two glasses of milk because he's trying to build muscle and doesn't EAT enough protein. We are currently on day 5. He has complained this week about being tired and having low energy. Which goes along with the timeline. Yesterday (Day 4) he complained about getting out of breath easily and having muscle cramps (his back seized up and his legs cramped.) He keeps saying there is NO way he can eat enough in order to fuel his activity level. (His job is fairly active and we both run and do crossfit.) He also doesn't have a regular schedule (military)--some days he works 3 hours, others 12. Some days its early mornings, some late nights. Some days office work, others physical labor or flying a helicopter for hours, usually a mix of all three) I've tried convincing him that he needs to eat 3 big meals instead of grazing. He tends to snack on fruit all day because its easy for him to just grab and eat on the go. I've tried telling him he needs to eat less fruit and more protein and fat. He just keeps saying he can't eat enough (though knowing him--he WON"T eat enough, not CAN"T"--he usually doesn't eat breakfast before work and he usually "forgets" or doesn't have time to eat lunch.) I want him to be successful, so I'm trying to give him every tool I can to help that along. Two questions: 1. Has anyone else experienced the muscle cramps and any idea why? 2. Any ideas/advice/tips for ways to get him to eat more? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted August 21, 2015 Administrators Share Posted August 21, 2015 Not eating two of the main meals of the day and then grazing on fruit all day, while technically compliant, is not your husband really doing Whole30. It's mostly him starving himself and then complaining that he's hungry, laggy, crampy etc. And ya, he won't get "much" (anything?) out of it if he keeps on like this. Has he actually tried eating a full template meal (using his own hands for measurement) three times a day? There is definitely an adjustment process if he is not used to eating larger meals but the only way through that is to actually keep trying to do it. You can't train yourself to eat proper meals by not eating anything for two thirds of the day. Does he even really want to do Whole30? Was this his idea? Or would he be happier not doing it? Is he "sabotaging" himself in it so that he can quit doing it? I understand the desire to want our loved ones to get on board, I do. But we can't force them and we can't make them ready if they aren't. So my suggestion would be to have a conversation with him that goes something like this: "Honey, I really believe in the Whole30 and I would love to support you if you decide to do it. But I cannot and will not do it for you so from here on, I am on the Whole30 per the rules and recommendations. You are free to do as you choose." And then maybe give him the books if he's interested in reading them or link him to some of the articles online that might explain what it's all about/the whys behind it. It is insanely stressful to try and make someone do something and have them resist. Just focus on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deezah82 Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ladyshanny--I guess I should clarify that he TYPICALLY doesn't eat breakfast and forgets lunch. He's been trying this week (since we started) to actually eat meals--and has with some success. Except that his lunch still has to be a convenience thing and whatever he can eat on the go (grapes, hard boiled egg or two, banana, walnuts and raisins, and some ground beef was yesterday's lunch.) He doesn't get a "lunch break" so he has to grab it when he can. As far as him wanting to do the Whole 30--he WANTS to support me and I want to do it. I actually didn't even ask him to do it with me because I know he doesn't care as much as I do. My sister is doing it with me--he made the decision to join us and support us. And he is the type of person that will see it through almost no matter what. He has the will power that I wish I had! ;-) We've had the conversation, he's read information (though the fact that he's in graduate school, working 50+ hours per week AND continuing to be a good husband and friend, I don't expect him to read the books cover to cover.) I don't feel in ANY way that I'm "doing it for him" and he is already doing "as he chooses." He chose to do it with me and I'm choosing to support him just as he is supporting me. Still looking for suggestions and thoughts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators SugarcubeOD Posted August 21, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ladyshanny--I guess I should clarify that he TYPICALLY doesn't eat breakfast and forgets lunch. He's been trying this week (since we started) to actually eat meals--and has with some success. Except that his lunch still has to be a convenience thing and whatever he can eat on the go (grapes, hard boiled egg or two, banana, walnuts and raisins, and some ground beef was yesterday's lunch.) He doesn't get a "lunch break" so he has to grab it when he can. As far as him wanting to do the Whole 30--he WANTS to support me and I want to do it. I actually didn't even ask him to do it with me because I know he doesn't care as much as I do. My sister is doing it with me--he made the decision to join us and support us. And he is the type of person that will see it through almost no matter what. He has the will power that I wish I had! ;-) We've had the conversation, he's read information (though the fact that he's in graduate school, working 50+ hours per week AND continuing to be a good husband and friend, I don't expect him to read the books cover to cover.) I don't feel in ANY way that I'm "doing it for him" and he is already doing "as he chooses." He chose to do it with me and I'm choosing to support him just as he is supporting me. Still looking for suggestions and thoughts! Who does the cooking in your house? Do you spend a day on the weekend doing meal prep? The suggestion I have would be to make sure that you include portable 'picnic' style breakfasts and lunches that are JUST as easy to grab as a piece of fruit. Scotch eggs, hard boiled eggs, cooked chicken, crudite etc... then at least he'll be eating actual food instead of fruit all day. Is he eating less than he normally would eat? If he wasn't on Whole30, what would his eating habits be? If he doesn't typically eat lunch or breakfast then was he tired and low energy in the past as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deezah82 Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 Who does the cooking in your house? Do you spend a day on the weekend doing meal prep? The suggestion I have would be to make sure that you include portable 'picnic' style breakfasts and lunches that are JUST as easy to grab as a piece of fruit. Scotch eggs, hard boiled eggs, cooked chicken, crudite etc... then at least he'll be eating actual food instead of fruit all day. Is he eating less than he normally would eat? If he wasn't on Whole30, what would his eating habits be? If he doesn't typically eat lunch or breakfast then was he tired and low energy in the past as well? I do most of the cooking for us. I typically do a meal prep for 2-3 days at a time. I've found if I do much more than that, I don't want to eat what I've prepped! I prep breakfast for the week on Sundays because neither of us wants to eat first thing in the morning and usually eat at work. I do make meals that can be pre-portioned and frozen for easy access and I always make enough for dinner to ensure left-overs for the next day. But he doesn't always have access to a microwave (or a fork!) to eat leftovers. I do prep things like protein salads, hard boiled eggs, chicken breasts and we always have nuts, fruit, and carrots on hand. He's pickier about what he'll eat than I am, so I leave some of the prep up to him to keep from stressing myself out too much--I let him cook his own chicken and buy veggies he'll eat. And he's always responsible for putting his meals together by himself when we don't eat together. We're going to sit down this weekend and come up with a plan to try and identify the types of foods he wants to have on hand. Volume-wise, he's eating more than usual. However, calorie-wise, he's definitely taking in less. He usually would supplement with two protein shakes and milk, but that's been off the table this week. For lunch/snack he would grab a sandwich and a pop tart from the small store at his squadron, and have fruit for a snack. His energy is usually pretty steady through the day and if he IS tired, he doesn't typically mention it. The fact that he's said something about it several times now is significant. I think he needs more fat too. He doesn't like avocados or olives OR coconut! (What a weirdo hehe...) so that's been difficult. (As a really positive "kudos" to him, he's in charge of the store at his squadron and has been working for a few months to bring in healthier, non-processed options!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators SugarcubeOD Posted August 21, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 21, 2015 I refuse to use a microwave so I eat my lunch room temperature... think about what it was like when we went to school and our lunch meal sat in our desk/locker/cubby hole from morning till lunch time. If he's used to eating sandwiches, why not try and put egg salad or tuna salad or cooked chicken in a lettuce wrap or a nori wrap. That's easily portable. You may want to search these threads for picnic style things that he can eat... lots of people have on the fly jobs/lives so they may have a more casual style of eating but you can still get three full meals in this way. http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/10805-picnic-ideas/ http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/27717-favorite-picnicbbq-dishes/ http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/25677-picnicbrown-bag-lunch/ http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/21608-looking-for-suggestions-picnic-food/ You can also go to google and enter 'whole 30 brown bag lunch' or whole 30 picnic etc... for other search results. Basically he needs to eat more... three full meals a day as Ladyshanny said above. There are no suggestions for him feeling less tired or hungry that don't involve him eating Breakfast, lunch and dinner to the template. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFChris Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I think he needs more fat too. He doesn't like avocados or olives OR coconut! (What a weirdo hehe...) so that's been difficult. Will he eat homemade mayo made with either extra light olive oil or something like walnut or macadamia nut oil? Cooking fat wise, his options include ghee, clarified butter, tallow, duck fat and compliant bacon fat. ETA: On the muscle cramp issue, is he salting his food? Is he getting enough potassium and magnesium? Possible sources of the former include potatoes/sweet potatoes, tomatoes, dried fruit (limit on Whole30), bananas, fish (salmon, tuna, halibut, cod), acorn squash and dark leafy greens. Sources of the latter include dark leafy greens, nuts and seeds (limit on Whole30), mackerel, bananas and dried fruit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmckids Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Chris, Thanks for the specifics regarding muscel cramps. I am on Day 3 and woke to a wonderful charlie horse. Leg still hurts. Otherwise, I have felt great. I do not snack. I "think" I am eating well balanced but obviously something is missing. I probably only eat 1, maybe 2 servings of fruit which is usually berries or raisins. I have veggies in all 3 meals and protein in all 3 meals. As of yesterday dinner, I did begin to eat bigger portions as I was VERY hungry yesterday. But again, thanks for the specifics. I will ensure I am adding the things you mentioned. Lynne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deezah82 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Thanks for the feedback, everyone. He's made an effort to take in more calories in general and he's felt much less tired and hasn't complained of muscle cramps. He's got a pretty limited palate and doesn't generally like dark leafy greens, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, fish, squash etc. He basically wants steak, cauliflower and bananas--it's an uphill battle! He's been willing to try everything I cook and will usually eat whatever I put in front of him. I'm trying lots of different things in hopes we'll find something he actually enjoys and can use as a "go-to". So, we're making progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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