HaveFaith Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I started this program in August 2012 as a way to make better, healthier food choices. I gave up things I never thought possible. But as the months went on, sticking to the program became harder and felt more restrictive than ever. As a recovered bulimic, I should have known there could potentially be some problems. But I was confident I was fully recovered (7 years strong, after suffering with it for 13 years). I realized this weekend, I was not. I found myself throwing up after a binge...and the ultimate feeling of failure and devastation, when I found out my 4 year old daughter had witnessed me throwing up. I am not blaming this program or anyone for this. It is purely my fault. I was naive to think that something like this would not eventually happen. But it did. And I feel awful, down with self-loathing, for not only the act of making myself throw up, but because my daughter cried, seeing me throw up. I feel like the worst mother. I can not do this to myself and I cannot do this to my daughter. I want to be a good example for her. And going down this path is not what I had envisioned. Has anyone out there, have a history of being recovered from an eating disorder, only to fall into the same trap as before? And what are you doing about it as a result? Have you dropped the program or continued, with success? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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