mazzystarslight

Day 27 Round 3, Exhausted/Scared

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I recently posted my "Whole30 transformation" to a Facebook group (350+ likes!), and I'm probably the thinnest I've ever been in my adulthood... but I've been listening to an anti-diet podcast called Food Psych about Health at Every Size/body positivity and am reading The F*ck It Diet now... I'm also *obsessed* with food, especially looking at pictures of food and taking food quizzes on BuzzFeed.

Does anyone else's intuition feel like Whole30 is just another diet and inherently wrong? I keep convincing myself it's not and has great merits (I've certainly benefited from them), but what happens when it's over (again) and I want everything I was restricting (and not milk- I'll want an entire tub of ice cream; not rice, but a cheese fries chicken fingers platter and a brownie sundae, etc.)... what happens when I inevitably put on weight again... how much longer can I keep participating in this depressing and exhausting cycle of restriction and binging? Feeling pretty miserable and helpless (day 27 of round 3). #debbiedowner :(

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I'll be honest with you. I feel the same. I love W30, I love what it does for my body, I love how I feel. But I know for a  fact it feeds into my restricting/ rules/ all or nothing/ success of failure mindset which has been the bane of my existence for decades. I'm a yoyo dieter, and not one of your 1-15lbs either way one, I literally lose 80lbs, gain 90, lose 70, gain 80. It's not healthy. I'm also a binger (I acknowledge it is self abuse through food), and it's compulsive. Food is my passion, and my biggest enemy. 

I don't have any answers for you, I can only say I'm right there with you. 

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6 hours ago, SchrodingersCat said:

I'll be honest with you. I feel the same. I love W30, I love what it does for my body, I love how I feel. But I know for a  fact it feeds into my restricting/ rules/ all or nothing/ success of failure mindset which has been the bane of my existence for decades. I'm a yoyo dieter, and not one of your 1-15lbs either way one, I literally lose 80lbs, gain 90, lose 70, gain 80. It's not healthy. I'm also a binger (I acknowledge it is self abuse through food), and it's compulsive. Food is my passion, and my biggest enemy. 

I don't have any answers for you, I can only say I'm right there with you. 

Thank you. I wonder if you might also enjoy the podcast and book I've been listening to/reading. They are comforting in the same way Whole30 is for me but on the other end of the spectrum. I think I've probably lost about 60-75 pounds (not sure until I weigh myself) from my highest weight, and it wasn't all Whole30, but most of my weight was med-related so coming off of them certainly helped - trying to lose weight has just messed with my eating habits, metabolism, cravings, and binging though. It's like trying to lose weight has created this pattern of very disordered eating. My weight fluctuated growing up but I was never obsessed with and scared of food like I am now. Hoping for the best for us, thank you as always for your reply! :wub:

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