BabyBear

Day 22 6:55: up with the baby alarm, my eyes are still heavy. Glad I checked the dryer, my clothes were still a bit damp. Restart that, get boys up and start getting everything ready to get out the door. 8:00 M1: 3 scrambled eggs coked in clarified butter (CB) an apple and some almond butter. Breakfast was eaten in two parts - eggs while they were hot and in between packing lunches, and the apples and almond butter on the road. On top of it being Wednesday a naturally stressful morning, I went to grab a roast out of the deep freezer and everything is defrosted, cold but not frozen! Omg I do not have time for this. We had to rearrange a bunch of things to get meat into the fridge. We will be eating a lot of venison the next few days! 1st meet up was good. I had to keep the boys with me as my mom is out of town so that always proves to provide its own challenges. Baby was well behaved and did great with going potty on his potty and not his diaper. Only one time this morning was his diaper a little wet when I took him potty. He’s really made a lot of progress this past month. Stopped at my moms to eat my lunch and let baby nap. My second appt canceled or postponed because of the kids. They had everyone in today which means they were already crowded so we will be back out here Saturday. 1:30 M2: ranch chicken salad (the last of it) and some salad greens with the raspberry lemon dressing. Oh the chicken salad is so good, but I realized I was getting full and I have stopped just a few bites shy of finishing it. I NEVER do that. What is coming over me. I’m always a “stuff it all in until it hurts and even then you could still fit two more bites if that’s all you have left kind” of gal. So recognizing I’m full and stopping is a big NSV for me. Seeing as I don’t have to work this afternoon I’m going to see my chiropractor. I’m so glad we got down to see Dr J! Even the boys were declaring how much better they feel after their adjustment. Baby wasn’t all too convinced though. Lol I remember when the older boys were little I used to tell them die quietly because of all the loud noises they would make during their adjustment. I feel like I’m taller and all the weight/stress I was carrying on my shoulders has been shed. I got to spend some time in sprouts. They had my favorite apple the honey crisp on sale so I bought a few. I also picked up a spaghetti squash and some compliant tomato sauce. I may even try my hand at making a compliant ketchup this weekend. When I picked up 13 yr DS from his student bible study I offered to get him anything he wanted for food. Oh goodness it’s the first time I’ve wanted to rip something away from someone and stuff it in my face. He gets his love of pizza from his momma! I really should have packed a snack even though I was trying to avoid snacking. 9:45 S1: Archer beef stick, a few blackberries and 2 pickle spears. I was so tired when I got home there was just nothing left of me. I got baby pottied changed and in bed made sure food got put away. I was so hungry but I just didn’t have it in me to even microwave something. I was headed to bed and decided I shouldn’t ignore my hunger at least not tonight. So I skipped the Rx bar and grabbed the other stuff instead. I’m going to soak in a hot bath and call it a day!

Day 21 Cont 6:00 S1: shared an Rx Chocolate cherry bar with the baby. Trying to do all the things and still sitting behind the eight ball. There is just not enough time in the day, but at least my energy is a bit more stable and sustainable. I have got a lot done today, there is just so much more to do, so a quick inventory to reset my feelings of being overwhelmed. Unloaded suitcases and did laundry from the trip, including folding and putting away. I also folded the three loads I left that I had done while packing. I kept a baby alive who is into everything and have had a successful day with potty training! I Changed beds and washed the linens and folded and put away. I cleared off my headboard and cleaned out from under the bed and tidied up the room and vacuumed. Made breakfast did dishes, made lunch and did dishes. As well as the couple dishes from the trip. Tore down boxes for to take to the dump. Okay, I guess I did get a few things done. Off to the grocery store to get some bare necessities. 9:30 M3: hamburger wrapped in lettuce topped with BBQ sauce, mayo and tomatoes. Hmmm it was good. May try cooking it in bacon grease next time. At the grocery store a beautiful bouquet of flowers caught my eye. I found myself saying I never get flowers I really like flowers they make me smile but seems like such a waste because you don’t eat them they die in about a week. I wondered why would someone pay money for flowers, but their beauty and smell still makes me smile. While finishing my shopping I reflected on my thoughts and asked myself does a pure and simple smile not hold any value? I decided it does, a smile does hold value, and something that genuinely makes me happy is worth $12.00 even if I can’t eat it, and will throw away the remains in a few days. So I invested in my happiness tonight. This wasn’t an I “deserve this purchase”, it was a purchase that came out of my fun/blow money, and it was an “I love you just because purchase”. I am learning to be kind to me. Meal planning (term used loosely) I realized I only have 9 days left and I got sad and then almost panicked as there are still a bunch of recipes I hadn’t tried yet... then I had to stop myself and smile. Silly caterpillar even when this 30 day experiment is done you can still make all these grand recipes you have been finding and saving, you do not have to make them all in the next 9 days. I have a lifetime ahead of me to enjoy and explore delicious real food recipes. I will say this, if nothing else came of this 30 days it certainly pulled me out of a rut in the kitchen or lack there of. I’ve relied very little on fast food and take out even for feeding the boys and that is a big win in my book. Also to be able to function without my caffeine has also been a impressive feat. I’m so glad I finally pushed through and just started this restart. It has had its challenges, but i think my resolve to see it through and to not even consider a slip started in my mind. I could not have done this with a mindset of missing out on all the things. I could not rid my surroundings of the junk food. The chocolate Hershey pies are sitting right beside the frozen cauliflower rice, the chips are next to the chicken stock and coconut milk and so on. I knew if I was going to be successful at continuing the healthy habits I had to be able to do this even with all the other stuff within easy access. I had to want this more than the cheese, bread, chips, sugar, etc. I decided jumping in that I did want the whole 30 more and I have chosen to not give the forbidden unknown food a second thought, or to entertain the fleeting thoughts of the non-compliant rather I am letting them role on by. I have tried to focus on all the new recipes and foods to explore, and have been surprisingly yet pleasantly shocked at the amount of diversity and sheer volume of recipes available. This was certainly not the case 11 years ago when I had to do an anti-inflammatory/elimination diet on my own for my sons healing. I am so thankful for this forum and the people here that check in with me. It helps to know others are in the battle with you.

@BlueKoala hope you are doing well, we are trying out the ribs this weekend.

Oh the chicken sounds delicious. I’m going to try this soon!

Day 21 7:55 The baby alarm went off and the day begins. My brain is still lagging just a bit from the weekend of little sleep. But food helped. I got baby fed and made some work calls as I started breakfast. 9:30 2 bacon strips, 3 eggs scrambled with salt pepper and basil cooked in the bacon grease 1/2 naval orange. Oh my those were by far the best eggs ever. How can this even be good for me cooking in bacon grease! Ha ha. And a diet that allows me bacon and doesn’t require me to blot all the grease off is one that I’m quickly beginning to love. I really enjoyed breakfast this morning. I have every intention of eating the whole orange, but I got full so I stopped and then offered the rest to my older boys who didn’t hesitate to scoop up a treasure such as an already peeled orange. Today will be a day of prep for the rest of the week. Laundry, food, cleaning the house, etc. It is nice to be home. Changing my mindset about the fact that food is amoral, it is neither good or bad. My relationship with food is not the foods fault. Just like my relationship with a brick and what I choose to do with it does not make the brick good or bad. I could use the brick to build a hospital or I could throw it through a window, my choices are not a reflection of the brick, it is a reflection of me. I can use food to nourish me, or use it to escape my problems it is not a reflection of the food it is a reflection of me. The foods that are currently side lined are not bad foods, they are just unknown. They will not be unknown forever. In about ten days time I will begin to explore, well within the safety nets of what I have learned during my whole 30 experiment, the unknown foods to see what my body’s relationship to them are and can be. 15 days ago that thought was overwhelming! But the more time that passes the better adapted I become in mind and body. It’s still intimidating, there are still some concerns that cause my chest to tighten just a little, but I am not facing those today, and I am confident that 10 days from now I will have learned that much more about me, my triggers, my true desires about health and the part that food plays there. 12:45 M2: Cajun kielbasa, potatoes, and green beans. This pressure cooker meal is so good y’all! Seriously easy and super tasty. My boys all love it! If you’d like the recipe I posted it on my IG account along with pictures as I can’t post pictures on the forum anymore. https://www.instagram.com/p/B7mBZeogtfN/?igshid=1ug494jsw73ef

Yes!!! That’s one of the greatest NSV and a huge step forward to the mindset of Freedom

Day 20 how is this even possible! 2/3 of the way, the home stretch. 7:30 am phone call from my mom woke me up. She’s hurt her back, so I guess it’s up and at em so I can get the kids and take her to see her chiropractor. So much for sleeping until 10:00. I’m awake and waiting for her to tell me appointment time so I took the opportunity to rub essential oils on the hubby and try to work out some nots from the drive. 8:30 S1: RXBar, beef stick Ugh to go from 80 and sunshine to 20 and snowing is a bit harsh. So much for having time for breakfast. I did grab my last beef stick, RXBar and some pistachios. All the other food is gone. Headed to the big city to take my mom to the doctor. Maybe I’ll take advantage of this and stop by sprouts and pick up some compliant bacon and sausage for this week. I can’t believe this is day 20. I’ve started reading food freedom book. Reading the intro I felt that anxiety build up in my chest of all the what if’s… normally I would shut down and walk away from all the overwhelming thoughts and feelings until I was ready to process those things, but this time I allowed myself to ask what if.., and almost always answered the question with .., “then I restart” the more I said it the further into the what if’s I went the more the tightness in my chest relaxed until it was gone. I was then able to continue reading and answering any more what if’s with “then I restart.” 1:30 S2:Banana and pistachios I bought the boys lunch to eat on the road. I stopped at sprouts. They were out of compliant sausage but I did get some bacon and some compliant deli meat. Oh and some bananas because the baby said “A-Nana Pweeeaa”. How could I not buy him a banana. I decided to eat one of his bananas instead of another RX bar. My truck is not running right and has me a little stressed out. Going to pick up the dog and then run the truck over to a guy my husband trust to check it out. Well the truck has to go in the shop and I am finally getting home at 4:30 after leaving out at 8:30. I drove over 4 hours today, and I have 6 hours worth of work to do before I can rest. Today definitely did not go as planned. M1 5:00 sweet sour chicken with steamed broccoli with clarified butter. I was so very happy when I opened the fridge to get milk for the baby and saw my sweet and sour chicken left overs waiting there for me! I steamed a bag of broccoli and heated up half the leftovers. I put the other half in a dish with half of the broccoli for lunch Wednesday. I enjoyed every bite. I was so hungry!

Do not loose heart. Every layer we peel back gives us deeper insight into ourselves, our healing, and our journey. There are many physical reasons for the reset taking 30 days, but there are psychological and emotional reasons too. I think one of those is retraining our brain and deepen our decision making process when faced with all the things. Your one decision in one moment does not negate all the hard work you have done up to that moment. That one decision does not define you, you have a lifetime of decisions a head and as many day 1s as you may need to find that place of balance and freedom where what you choose in that moment embodies all that you want in the moment!

@Ann I’m so glad you are pushing through all the stress and pain and holding fast to your whole 30! If jumping on the scale is the worst you did then I applaud you. The past few weeks have been eye opening in regards to how much that number affects my perception of me. I tried my theory about starting a new thread to post pics... didn’t work apparently our accounts are limited to a certain amount of space for digital media. I’ve been bummed out about this because I really enjoyed posting pics and felt it gave me that much more accountability. So I’m going to start posting my pics to my Instagram account that I set up just for my journey to health and I’ll post links to that. Just because you are having cravings doesn’t make you a lush! It makes you normal, and facing them makes you Wonder Woman.

Day 19 The drive and energy... lots of energy! 10:30 am check out time so I have to pull myself out from under the covers. Packed up, washed dishes, and heated up some breakfast and headed out the door. It’s not over yet, but I feel like my weekend has gone really well doing Whole 30. I’m so glad I took the time and effort to prepare meals. It really has made all the difference. I’m bored with my food at this point, but that is okay I just have to survive through today. 11:30 M1: 2 mini quiche, avocado mixed with ranch dressing and a clementine. love is holding your hubbys mcdonalds fries and sauce for his nuggets so he can easily access them to eat while driving, while on a whole 30. That is love! 4:00 S1: clementine and pistachios The drive back has been good so far, and pretty weather. During the drive my hubby asked if I had any more pistachios. I also offered him gummies, chocolate, chips or clementine and he chose a clementine. Who is this and what has he done with my husband. Lol so we shared a snack on the road and it made it me smile. 7:00 M2: ranch chicken salad, salad greens, raspberry lemon dressing, broccoli florets, red bell pepper sticks, carrots with ranch. We stopped for gas and I took advantage to dig food out… I was so hungry! I totally expected the Hubby to complain about the smell, because that’s what he does. He didn’t and I find that very sweet of him. It’s little things like that, that I’ve learned to recognize as support and I thank him for it. I am excited for the possibilities this year holds. I am turning 40 and I plan on making it the best decade yet. Maybe I’ll have another baby maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll travel more maybe I won’t but the one thing I know for certain is I’m reclaiming my health! I will be kind to me, I will love me, I will take joy in taking care of me. Phew we made it to the skate session 9 hours back, 2 hours late due to the interstate being shut down. Luckily we caught it and was able to avoid it. The skate session was incredible. My hubby really brought the music tonight. Definitely one of his better DJ sets. That was a hard drive after long hours of vending, but definitely worth it. I skated my booty off and loved every minute of it. 12:00 am M3: Grilled chicken and steamed vegetables So we went to another one of our favorite places that we go to after this set. I ordered with confidence asking a few questions and making some request. The chef did an amazing job and the food was delicious. It wasn’t their house club or the 1/2 rack of ribs I used to order but it was still delicious. 1:30am finally home gonna shower and hit the hey. I survived this weekend whole 30 compliant. I am impressed with me!

How are you? Hope you had a good weekend and the shoulder pain is minimal.

Stopping in to see how you are doing?

Day 18 cont 11:00 pm rise and shine time to hustle. I’m so grateful for the energy my body is providing me with the nutrients from the food I’ve been providing it. These work weekends I used to live on on sundrop sodas. I have not even had an Once of caffeine. Water and real food has been enough to keep me going. I am eating more snacks than usual, but given my circumstances I think that is okay. One last push before it all comes to a close tomorrow 12:30 S2 clementine. NSV: my pants are loose and keep sliding down.. And I forgot my belt so annoying but in a good way. 1:45am S3 Rx Bar I made a snack bar run for the hubby while he was working on people’s skates. I grabbed him a pizza and soda and me a water. Heading back to the booth, my tired brain started saying “ooooh pizza”. So I grabbed my emergency RX bar to keep the crazies at bay. 6:00 am - back at the hotel and ready to crash.

Day 18 Holdfast 5:15 am M1: LO 2 mini quiche and sautéed cabbage with bacon. Ranch dressing Finally finished and back at the room. My food was hot and perfectly moist even though it had been sitting for 5 hours waiting on me to come eat it. I love my hot logic mini. The ranch was a nice way to change up the flavors as I was getting board with the quiche. Oh the hotel lobby smelled of pancakes and bacon and sausage and eggs. It’s a good thing I brought food with me, I may not have been able to resist that free breakfast. I’m so tired I’m ready to hit the shower and crash for a few hours before we have to get up and set up for vending. 11:00 am rise and grind time to hustle. Got up dressed, washed my dishes and packed up 2 meals and some snacks and got on the road to go vend in 45 minutes. Vending outside at a park today and they are smoking a turkey for lunch. Oh man does it smell good 12:45 M2 Turkey Bacon lettuce roll ups with avocado mayo and spicy mustard. The weather here is amazing 80F a slight breeze and sunshine! I’m glad we get to be outside even though vending outside presents it’s own issues. Today’s been better for business, and definitely more enjoyable. 4:00 S1: grapes and a handful of pistachios 7:00 M3: ranch chicken salad, salad greens and raspberry lemon dressing. We left the park vending spot right at dark. It was a long day but better. We had to stop and buy a gallon of water because I ran out of water. I ate once we got back to the hotel room. I also ordered food for hubby. I have to admit the food on the menu sounded mighty tasty… but I’m glad I'm sticking to my whole 30 and I was quite content with my meal. My hubby ran down to the snack corner and bought Pringle’s because he needed the can for mounting skates, and he brought back a bag of gummy bears. Often my candy of choice. It made me feel special that he thought of me and I told him that. He asked if I wanted any and I told him not at the moment but he was welcome to have some. A few minutes later he looked up from his work with the most forlorn look and said you can’t eat those can you. I smiled and said oh I could, but I just chose not to until January is over. He apologized and I told him not to because I love the fact that he thought of me and bought me my favorite candy. He shook his head and said I don’t know how you do it. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Now to get a little rest before vending tonight at the rink.

12:30 we arrived at destination and thank goodness cuz I had to peeeeeeee plus I’m so thirsty but I dare not drink more water until we made our destination. 1:00 S1: Rx bar, beef stick, grapes We got unloaded and set up the booth, I plugged in the hot logic with my lunch and grabbed a snack because I’m hungry and lunch will be 30 min to 3 hours depending on business. 3:00 M2: LO sweet and sour chicken with cauliflower rice. Yum, still so good even the next day. Phew I’m full and ready for a nap, but I’m enjoying my time next to the hubby. 6:00 S2: clementine and pistachios. It’s not ideal but the food is compliant and I am in an unusual circumstance and I’m coping and making the best choices my surroundings allow me to currently make. It has been so slow. They put the vendors off in a tiny closet of a room in the back of the hotel. My husband started going out to the lobby where all the people were hanging out just to let people know that there were vendors. There are a lot of people pretty upset about the vending situation today. My hubby did manage to strum up some business for us and some of the other vendors. I get back to my room thinking I’ll have a blt roll up noooo my turkey meat froze in the little fridge along with most of my other food. I put some quiche and cabbage in my hot logic and plugged it in. Moved the meats to the door and will hope for the best. Time for a nap. 11:00 M3: 2 Turkey BL-no T wraps (Lettuce, avocado, turkey slice, bacon, mayo, spicy mustard, red bells Oh this day keeps presenting its own challenges. I had plugged food in to eat when I got up, and it was unplugged and cold. At least the turkey had mostly defrosted and wasn’t a solid piece of ice, unlike my tomatoes. The wraps were tastier than I expected and very filling. I ate them as we headed to the rink to skate and vend. Hopefully we can make some more sales tonight as the vending earlier was a joke. We typically are not allowed to set up in a rink because they feel we are direct competition to their skate shop that isn’t typically open for these parties nor do they sell the same products that we carry. So vending at a rink should be interesting.