amy3509 Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 I have been doing a lot of thinking and working on the issue of body acceptance in the last year. Before that I didn't realize how much negative self talk was going on in my head and how much time I spent obsessing over how I looked (or didn't look) and waiting to live my life until I was a certain size. Going to the lake? First thought would be an anxious one about what to wear, how I would look, etc - instead of "What kind of fun things am I gonna do this year? Yay!". Whole9 posted a link to an article about body acceptance and the media on FB yesterday (http://inmyskinnygenes.com/2014/07/14/open-letter-dr-oz/). I followed several links from that article and discovered there are about a zillion 'life/health coaches' helping people recover from negative attitudes about their bodies, restrictive/permissive eating cycles (i.e. diet then binge, repeat), and the idea that thin=healthy. This stuff really speaks to me - just as Geneen Roth did a few years back. That said, when they talk about throwing out 'eating rules' and not cutting out whole food groups etc it stops working for me . . . I have cut out sugar/sweeteners entirely (over three months, hurrah!) and have avoided grains for far longer than that. I feel better (because of course I do!), my metabolism seems to be healing (weight is coming off very slooooowly, just like it is supposed to), and I don't obsess about food as much as I once did. I get what they are promoting (getting away from the restrictive mentality that leads to binges eventually) and love the idea of finally accepting and loving my body, and learning to trust that I can be chill and moderate around food. If I could pull that off it would be a life changer. And I wouldn't be gaining and losing the same 40 lbs for the rest of my damn life. That said, when they talk about having "no off limit foods" and trusting yourself to not go crazy around food, listen to your body, etc etc, I think about sugar and just cannot imagine being able to 'throw out the rules' and learn to be moderate about it. That white stuff is addictive - I found smoking easier to quit! Physiologically, sugar (and other very high carb, low nutrient foods) cause physiological changes that trigger behaviour - even if 'emotional eating' is in check, yes? Anyway, not sure what the intention of my post is. I guess I would like to do more reading, talking, developing in this area - marrying the 'stop obsessing about body and food' with the nutritional science that is working well for me. I wonder if there is a forum of like minded folk out there? The 'health coaches' I mentioned earlier sound cool, but I'm not really in the market for that - just looking for community. This forum is great, but naturally is very focused on the whole30 program and nuts and bolts of paleo. Now that I have a good base from that, I am looking to continue to evolve, heal, grow. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theheywhohaa Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Hi there Amy, You could check out the dirty 30 thread on the reintroduction section. We're all on this trip together and you would be welcome anytime. Also, as intimated in the thread title, we may possibly be the best group ever. I'm just sayin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissSkinnyGenes Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Hi Amy! This is Kaila, the health coach whose blog you linked. I just wanted to say that I absolutely understand where you are. I'm a Paleo health coach--and I absolutely do not advocate the eating of grains, and I don't think that sugar is a great idea for most people. Personally, I began to recover from the mental health issues related to my eating disorder--depression, anxiety, etc.--when I started following a Paleo lifestyle. I can't speak for all of the coaches out there, but I think that using an ancestral template is a great idea. What I advocate--and, again, I can't speak for all of the coaches out there--is to remove the restrictions within Paleo: meal timing, food portioning, calorie counting, orthorexia/food fear/safe foods etc. Learning how to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full takes more than just eating 3 perfectly measured meals at the right times during the day. It means not obsessing about carb amounts, or perfectly timing your sweet potato and your bulletproof coffee for optimal performance (whatever that actually means). It's about finding permission to eat in a way that nourishes you without "making food fuel" (and stripping it of its enjoyment) or "making food comfort" (and stripping it of its nutrition). I think you, and everyone else in here, are very brave for undertaking this journey and getting to know your signals, your triggers, and your limitations. I just also encourage people to explore those boundaries and ask--only when they are ready--where the restrictions serve or do not serve you. Anyway, I just wanted to throw my two cents in there--and offer the community of the Finding Our Hunger podcast--if you ever need a little bit of extra body positivity to pack along in your bag. Stay hungry, Kaila Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissSkinnyGenes Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Also! Check out Stefani Ruper of paleoforwomen.com, if you haven't already. She's a total body image bada$$, but she also has the science and such backing up her writing as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllyB Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 When I tell people how I eat, I usually get the "Well, I believe in everything in moderation approach." Oh yeah? Do you tell that to an alcoholic??? "Just drink in moderation and you'll be healthy". Didn't think so. I don't have a problem with food restrictions. Just like I don't have a problem with driving restrictions (speed limits, always wearing seatbelts etc.) I tell them that even a small amount of wheat makes my husband sick. A small amount of potatos makes his joints hurt. And a small amount of sugar sends me down a baaaaaad path I don't want to travel any more. So yeah, sign me up for the food restrictions. It gives me less decisions to make in an already over complicated life. As a side note, I loved Geneen Roth's books. She was very helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy3509 Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Thank you for your replies, all!! Kaila, neat to run into you here. I just signed up for your gratitudemadlibs and look forward to listening to the podcast as well. I believe it will be very important for me to surround myself with positive influences through this journey. I have a history of lots of negative self talk and unrealistic expectations of my body. That coupled with obsessing over food (whether binging or dieting) mean a lot of patterns to move away from. I really love the comments you made about moving away from the paleo rules where it serves me - I have already begun to do this and am being mindful about what serves me (eg avoiding sweeteners and grains) and what does not, even if it once did (eg meal template at all times - I ebb and flow on this one). I love this - "It's about finding permission to eat in a way that nourishes you without "making food fuel" (and stripping it of its enjoyment) or "making food comfort" (and stripping it of its nutrition). " AllyB . . . great analogy. I have often used that logic as well. Moderation in food is a great idea - when it's actually food. Can gummy worms really be considered food any more than Styrofoam is? THere are some things we just shouldn't eat, because it isn't food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllyB Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I have never been moderate. Moderation is not in my vocabulary nor is it something that I'm able to practice. So I don't pretend that it's an option. Instead of obsessing about this personality 'trait', I have accepted it and just do things differently to account for it. Sometimes we are so busy fighting ourselves that we can't make any progress. I've become a lot stronger and effective since admitting my weaknesses and working with them, not fighting them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissSkinnyGenes Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Amy, I'm excited to have you on the journey with me! Definitely feel free to reach out and say hello any time. And I think the important thing for us all to remember is that we're all right--some people need to have restrictions. Others could stand to live without 'em. It's all about meeting ourselves where we are--and using that understanding to get to a place where we feel content in our bodies. I think, with the internet and opinions such as they are, it's really easy to forget that there's no one right answer--there are just a spectrum of them, and we have to find the one that works best for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britishgal Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I have never been moderate. Moderation is not in my vocabulary nor is it something that I'm able to practice. This is my life. In a quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy3509 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Share Posted July 19, 2014 I have never been moderate. Moderation is not in my vocabulary nor is it something that I'm able to practice. So I don't pretend that it's an option. Instead of obsessing about this personality 'trait', I have accepted it and just do things differently to account for it. Sometimes we are so busy fighting ourselves that we can't make any progress. I've become a lot stronger and effective since admitting my weaknesses and working with them, not fighting them. I completely agree that accepting oneself and working with our personality and traits is key, just like it is so important to accept and value ones body as is (even if still working to create change in it). As I mentioned, sugar is something I cannot possibly be moderate about - at least at this point in my life. Will that change? I hope so (for the sake of dark chocolate ), but if not, so be it. I don't need to figure that out right now. I am wondering . . . when you say that moderation is not something you are able to practice, when in the context of food do you mean that about all food? Or just food with no brakes food? I ask out of genuine curiousity, not because I am in any way questioning or being critical of your statement. I have a mom who is moderate about very little in her life . . . I'm guessing she could relate to your statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllyB Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 My moderation problem is mostly centered around sugar. If I eat a compliant meal, with a good amount of fat and protein, I am satisfied. I stop eating when I'm full and don't overeat. If I eat something that is more sugary and non-compliant, then I crave more and more and can't seem to stop. I find all sorts of ways to rationalize what I'm doing. For example...if I have a pack of oreos (which because of this, we don't keep in the house anymore). I will tell myself I'll eat just two. Then an hour later, I eat two more. I start to feel crappy from the sugar spike and crash. So I eat some more to give me a boost. Then I say "Oh the hell with it! I just need to finish off the whole package so that I can get back to eating well!" Save some for tomorrow? Nonsense! Throw the pack away? Impossible! Another example is Kind bars (my favorite are the peanut butter ones with chocolate on the bottom) . I used to eat them before my whole30 because they were 'healthy'. (blah blah blah). But now after my whole 30, I have discovered that they have too much sugar for me. If I eat one, not only do I get the groggy sugar crash feeling, but I also start craving more sugar things. Those bars wake up my sugar dragon with a big, loud screeching bull horn. So, I guess my point is that I know some things are my triggers (I guess those are my no-brakes foods). I know if I eat a little bit of them, it turns into a mental battle of me against myself. It's miserable. It brings me to a place I don't want to be. So negative and self defeating. It makes me feel like I took a hundred steps backwards. So my solution is strict sugar restrictions. And that is ok with me. I had no trouble giving up bread, potatoes and a bunch of other foods that for some people are no brakes foods. I don't feel any sort of restrictions centered around them, even though I don't eat them. It's strange. I think we all react differently to different foods. But there does seem to be a similar pattern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy3509 Posted August 3, 2014 Author Share Posted August 3, 2014 AllyB, I follow strict sugar restrictions as well. I behave the same way you describe. Cutting it out in all it's forms (other than fruit) has been life changing for me. Once I got rid of that I found 'moderate' eating fairly simple, just as you describe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeadowLily Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 You're a wise woman, Amy. Excellent posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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